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Man... some people
... don't even know the meaning of SHAME

By Faz Rasti
January 31, 2002
The Iranian

I think the last time I had so much fun, I did not have any clothes on. It seems the whole world has gone mad and in its madness decided to talk about the Pahlavis again.

"We are awake" is in line with the illusionary world most monarchists in/out of Iran live in. Cyrus Kadivar does not even realize how stupid he sounds when he talks about subjects like "campaigns to get rid of poisonous snakes", "disinfection" of a 30 km (one assumes ) area, "the liberal press" (shit, where? Iran under the Pahlavis? Is this the revisionist account of Iranian history or what? Only if I had realized we had "liberal press" I would have stayed).

I must confess I nearly fractured a rib or two laughing so hard and falling off the chair after reading the following:

"Nassiri, who was later executed after the revolution told me that they were released after a few days," Mr. Ansari said. "Let's face it. We were not as sophisticated as the West. Sometimes the methods were crude and some innocent people may have been arrested. But imagine if a terrorist had succeeded in getting through."

This is by far the biggest load of blatant bollocks I have heard for quite some time. Now I can tell you first hand that one of my cousins who was caught distributing leaflets was kept in Evin for over a year. On his release he showed us all the usual cigarette burns and so on. The favorite torture of those days for someone guilty of distributing leaflets was red-hot boiled eggs up the anus. I must ask Mr. Ansari and Mr. Kadivar if they have had the pleasure of such injection on a daily basis, because I am sure their resolve about the monarchy will somehow weaken if they had personally experienced some of the goodies the Pahlavis dished out. I don't suppose boiled eggs are very sophisticated, but then again we always knew the Pahlavis were a bunch of buggers.

 Another amusing little gem was the following:

The Shah, on the other hand was amused. He had enjoyed himself. He stood up, proud as a peacock... The world was paying respect to his achievements and position as a world class leader.

WORLD-CLASS LEADER? What? Little Mammali? A world class leader? Are you completely off your peanut sized brain? The man could not even speak nor write English properly although he had been the nokar of the Americans since Mossadegh was gotten rid-of by the CIA.

Now I ask you honestly, would you buy a second hand car from someone like Mr. Ansari knowing that he has made the following statement?

"Persepolis put Iran on the map," Mr. Ansari told me. "The American charge d'affaires kept telling me that it was the best exercise in public relations he had ever seen. Had we done it any other way it would have cost us many more millions."

Personally, I have two theories. Either Ansari is so stupid that he does not comprehend anything, or that he has lived in such a fantasy world for so long that he does not realize he is stupid. Either way I just want to know how people like him managed to have so much money when they fled Iran. Was it old money? Did his Royal Badness give it to them? Did they just knick it? Where the hell did they get it? Were they unreal businessmen making loads of money with their massive entrepreneurial brain? Or was it that they were just plain thieves, eating together and even now protecting one another? A bit like you scratch my back I suck your cock Royal Highness.

Now this next bit really takes the carrot:

The Shah finding himself somewhat on the defensive described critics who alleged the celebration had cost $2 billion as "not sound of mind". In any case, he told one journalist,  Iran "couldn't care less". As far as he was concerned the whole thing had been a success. Besides what were people complaining about? Did they expect the Imperial Court of Iran to offer their guests "bread and radishes"?

Shit! and I thought some of our own people would have been happy with bread and radishes. Imperial Court? Laughing out loud wasn't the bastard the son of a simple soldier? Hate people who forget their roots. Gooz makes a loud noise but comes out of the same place as other bodily refuse.

Both Mr. Ansari and Mr. Kadivar continue to amuse us with little jokes like:

It is a forgotten fact that the celebrations at Persepolis was only a component of a greater programme of development in Iran. It was the cherry on top of the cake.

Did I l miss something? Which programme? Where was it? What did they do?

Then they collectively try to rewrite history in the traditional worthy of Hollywood, with the cowboy ridding into the sunset. Now this statement completely puzzles me. What does it mean? Can someone claiming to be of sound mind make such a statement?

It was not the expenses that proved the Shah's undoing but rather the sudden influx of petrodollars after 1974 when the monarch pushed OPEC to quadruple the price of oil.

The conclusion, well what can I say. Even President Bush's propaganda department would be happy to give these two clowns a job.

"HIM was a true patriot," he said confidently. "I have no doubt about it. He entered history as probably the most misunderstood leader in the 20th century."

Now as though all this was not enough we had the double bill treat in the form of the letters by Abdol Madjid Madjidi. To Mr. Majidi I have one question to ask: How much did they pay you those days for the public service you were providing for the Iranian people? They must have paid you a shit load of money mate if you could afford to be "retired" all these years you've been out of Iran. But, hey,hell, what am I saying here, you were the man in charge of the big money. The Big Cheese. Mr. Budget Man.

Mr. Budget Man: lots of money went missing in Iran. Big bribes were paid and received and you were sitting on top of the food chain. So please shut up about debate and morality. You are by any standard the source of the rot. Man... some people don't even know the meaning of SHAME.

Comment for The Iranian letters section Comment for the writer Faz Rasti