|All I really need
is to be quiet, sit still, and read some Hafiz
By Arezou Raeisghasem
May 21, 2002
The whole world is searching, searching to know what we want, who we are, and what
the purpose is, in this game we call life. Look for the key words "Self Discovery"
in a bookstore, you'll find hundreds of books.
It's caught on, that catchy little phrase, I mean, who doesn't want to "discover"
themselves? Who doesn't want to understand what's going on in that crazy head of
theirs? I sure do. I'm a very good friend of the self-help section in Barnes &
But, what are we searching for? What is in those books
that is going to help us "see the light"? What questions do we think will
be answered by reading the words on that page?
I think we are all trying to be at peace with who we are, and better yet, who we
are not. I for one always seem to look for the answers outside of myself. As soon
as there is a problem, anguish, fear, I am on the phone, with a friend, online -
some kind of human contact. When all I really need is to be quiet, sit still, and
read some Hafiz. I seem to think that all the answers are outside of me, but the
truth being, the only valuable answers can come only from my own psyche.
It's so hard to trust that truth, because we want to believe that someone or something
can save us. The knight in shining armor, more money, less worries, a better body
- nothing can change until those deep dark thoughts about yourself are altered. Nothing
can save you, but you. That's a hard reality to face when you can't fathom how you'll
ever find the strength, the wisdom, the will, to save what you don't yet know how
Some people act like victims, becoming bitter at the world, their life, parents who
made them how they are. It's easy to do, but at some point, there is a realization
that it is your turn to choose who you want to be, the responsibility is in your
hands and yours alone.
There is a line in a movie that says, "You spend the rest of your life trying
to get over your childhood." To a certain extent I think that is true, for our
childhood is what shapes us. It is the time that we are supposed to learn that we
are loved, valued, wanted, needed, strong, beautiful, and intelligent.
But how could our parents have taught us that, when they did not believe those things
about themselves? We are victims of victims, and so the vicious cycle continues until
we can be enlightened enough to realize that our construction of reality is flawed.
So, no matter how great the books or the romances are; no matter how much money I
have, or how great I could look on the outside, nothing will change my reality until
I change my thoughts. I know this and yet the days, months, years keep passing me
by, and still, the struggle to reach and experience my Truth continues.
When words stop,
And you can endure the silence,
That reveals your heart's Pain,
Or that great wrenching-sweet longing,
That is the time to try and listen,
To what the
And all the world strives to hear.