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All I really need
is to be quiet, sit still, and read some Hafiz

By Arezou Raeisghasem
May 21, 2002
The Iranian

The whole world is searching, searching to know what we want, who we are, and what the purpose is, in this game we call life. Look for the key words "Self Discovery" in a bookstore, you'll find hundreds of books.

It's caught on, that catchy little phrase, I mean, who doesn't want to "discover" themselves? Who doesn't want to understand what's going on in that crazy head of theirs? I sure do. I'm a very good friend of the self-help section in Barnes & Noble.

But, what are we searching for? What is in those books that is going to help us "see the light"? What questions do we think will be answered by reading the words on that page?

I think we are all trying to be at peace with who we are, and better yet, who we are not. I for one always seem to look for the answers outside of myself. As soon as there is a problem, anguish, fear, I am on the phone, with a friend, online - some kind of human contact. When all I really need is to be quiet, sit still, and read some Hafiz. I seem to think that all the answers are outside of me, but the truth being, the only valuable answers can come only from my own psyche.

It's so hard to trust that truth, because we want to believe that someone or something can save us. The knight in shining armor, more money, less worries, a better body - nothing can change until those deep dark thoughts about yourself are altered. Nothing can save you, but you. That's a hard reality to face when you can't fathom how you'll ever find the strength, the wisdom, the will, to save what you don't yet know how to love.

Some people act like victims, becoming bitter at the world, their life, parents who made them how they are. It's easy to do, but at some point, there is a realization that it is your turn to choose who you want to be, the responsibility is in your hands and yours alone.

There is a line in a movie that says, "You spend the rest of your life trying to get over your childhood." To a certain extent I think that is true, for our childhood is what shapes us. It is the time that we are supposed to learn that we are loved, valued, wanted, needed, strong, beautiful, and intelligent.

But how could our parents have taught us that, when they did not believe those things about themselves? We are victims of victims, and so the vicious cycle continues until we can be enlightened enough to realize that our construction of reality is flawed.

So, no matter how great the books or the romances are; no matter how much money I have, or how great I could look on the outside, nothing will change my reality until I change my thoughts. I know this and yet the days, months, years keep passing me by, and still, the struggle to reach and experience my Truth continues.

Hafez writes,

When words stop,
And you can endure the silence,
That reveals your heart's Pain,
Of emptiness,
Or that great wrenching-sweet longing,
That is the time to try and listen,
To what the
Beloved's Eyes
Most want
To Say.

And all the world strives to hear.

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By Arezou Raeisghasem

No, I'm Iranian
And I am thankful for opportunities America has given me

Not lost, forever


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