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Baghdad goodbye party
Essentials celebrate the end of Saddam

By Sharif N. Mafi
January 27, 2003
The Iranian

So here it is in a nutshell ladies and gentlemen; after twenty some odd years of brutal reign of terror, two wars, one attempt at ethnic cleansing, a few scuds fired here and there at civilian populations, extensive usage of chemical weapons against civilians, and a small number of love-hate relationships with an assortment of Western and Arab leaders, we are witnessing the last days of Saddam Hussein al Majd al Takriti.

For this momentous occasion, this unassuming writer suggests a party, a terrific bash to celebrate the end of Saddam. Prerequisites for this charming get-together are:

1) Plenty of imported Russian Stolichnaya vodka. Where do you think the word Scud is from?

2) Président de la République; Jacques Chirac and a few tins of French Foie Gras to go along with French Exocet missiles and French Mirage fighters that were provided to Mr. Takriti for free.

3) Loads of American Velveta Cheese Dip and Donald Rumsfeld's himself so that we can all hear his nostalgic memories of the cuddly U.S-Iraq ties back in the 80's. Perhaps we could all go over those melancholy satellite photos of Iranian troop movements they both shared.

4) Lots of German Bratwurst Sausages in honor of all the chemical ingredients provided by German companies on credit to Arabize the Kurds.

5) Tons of grade A Saudi Arabian dates. After all, the Saudis were bankrolling some crafty character before Mullah Omar showed up.

6) Arafat in person. Why Not? He sure can light up any party these days, and certainly
can use a break from his two room incarceration in Ramallah.

7) The deceased King Hussain of Jordan. We surely will miss his brotherly-love stories with Saddam. Perhaps we could instead invite his son, King Abdullah?

8) Someone from the Swiss Federal Banking Commission. And you thought Saddam keeps his money in Baghdad?

9) Iranians, Israelis and Syrians are not invited.

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