|
August 26, 2002
The Iranian
Send us your questions
and comments
* HE says it's normal
I really like your site and enjoy reading it and some of them are really interesting.
I have a problem in my sex life with my partner. I am a 24-year-old Iranian girl
and my partner is 27-- also from iran, and living in the US. The problem is when
we have sex he ejaculates too early, he always comes after 5 min.
He wants to have intercourse at least 1-2 times a day. That doesn't bother
me. What bothers me the most is that he comes too early, as I said after 5-7 min.
The first time he is really fast, but the second and third he comes a bit later
still like after 7 min. Is the problem from me or him?? cause I have told him several
times to go to a doctor but he says ok and never goes, and says i'ts natural.
IS IT??? Is the problem from me or is he the one who needs to be checked by the doctor?
Thanks
L
 Reply
Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write:
What do you do when your love lasts but you don't?
This is the all too common dilemna between men and women. Most men have an arousal-orgasm
cycle of approximately three minutes, compared to women, who take thirteen minutes
to go from countdown to blastoff.
Please don't play the blame game (is it your fault or his) for something that can
be overcome with a little patience and a lot of communication.
Common sense tells the abjeez that if you hope to do something well, you have to
concentrate on that very thing. (Would you want to be operated on by a surgeon who
is thinking of his next golf game?) Therapists say that if your mind is elsewhere,
the sex will suffer. Your partner will sense a lack of enthusiasm, diminishing pleasure
all around. It seems like we are a broken record when we say sex is much more in
the mind (i.e. emotional) than in the body.
The path out of Quickieville is best traveled with a partner. The key, therapists
agree, is training -- getting to know and understand your body, as well as your partner's,
so that you can enjoy each other to your full physical potential. For starters try
taking the whole thing slower. Do things to get your partner excited, whatever those
things are, and vice versa.
The specific techniques and positions that prolong arousal will vary for each couple.
The most important thing is developing intimacy and communication. Don't worry if
at first you don't succeed. This may take a long time to have real effects. And
if all else fails we suppose there are doctors who can prescribe drugs but the abjeez
do not recommend the use of chemical substance in general.
We hope this has been helpful.
Abjee Pari and Abjee Fotti
|
