Advice February 5, 2002 The Iranian Send us your questions and comments * Does size matter? Being average had bothered me for years, so I embarked on a research project. Five years and well over 100 women later, my survey says that majority of women think average is good enough. And that's what my wife has been telling me all along. I'm kidding, I'm not married. Now I feel that all my hard work (pun intended) has gone to waste, as I think most were just trying not to hurt my feelings. I find myself unable to commit to a relationship, for the fear of not being able to satisfy my mate, even though experience has shown that I have brought joy to many a women, but I keep thinking what if they were faking it? I've heard some women are very good at that :-) Can you give me a convincing answer one way or the other? If this topic is too racy for the public, a private reply is much apperciated. Signed, inadequate shoombool talaa. P.S. you have my permission to use this for comic relief, but a serious response might help the enquirer minds that want to know. Reply Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write: Dear "inadequate" shoombool talaa, Thank you for your tongue-in-cheek letter. The Abjeez welcome letters on any subject, be it humorous or otherwise. We will however strive to give you as serious an answer as we can muster on this topic. Your letter highlights one of the fundamental differences between men and women on the topic of sex. Though this is a bit of a generalization, there is always a foundation of truth behind every cliche. So we think it is fair to say that whereas women are more attuned to the emotional aspect of sex, men view it as more of a purely physical experience. And that is probably why, as you mention, they are more worried about issues such as size and physical prowess. If you view sex as some kind of physical marathon or validation of your manliness, it of course follows that the issues of whether a woman "fakes" it or not, becomes of tantamount importance. We know that you intended this letter to be humorous but the Abjeez cannot help but feel that characterizing sex as a "research project" implies a certain lack of respect for the female gender. Sorry to sound harsh but it sounds as if all they were to you were guinea pigs in some kind of experiment destined to feed your ego. Then, no wonder this project fell short of its intended goal! (pun intended) We hope that you understand that the real issue here is not your physical adequacy but your emotional one. Why don't you concentrate on one single girl, instead of a hundred ones, and really to get to know her and appreciate her as a person? We would suggest to you that perhaps the way to really "satisfy" a woman is to show her respect, friendship, and intimacy and... yes... the L word, Love! If you concentrate less on your biological endowment, which you can't change, and more on connecting with your female partner on an emotional level, then there are much greater chances that you both will share a beautiful and fulfilling experience. Take Care and lots of luck for the future. With respect, Abjee Pari and Abjee Fotti Comment for The Iranian letters section Comment for Abjeez Fotti and Pari ALSO Abjeez Latest RELATED Kobra Khanom SECTIONS * Recent * Cover * Writers * Arts & lit * Opinion * Satire * History * Interviews * Travel * Women * Rights * Surveys * All sections

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