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May 17, 2002
The Iranian
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and comments
* Wants us to divorce in Iran
dear abjeez,
man bad az hododeh 18 sal zendegi ba shoharam tasmim be talagh gereftem .shoharam
esrar dareh iran berim va onja mano talagh bedeh,elatesho nemifahmam,manam mitarsam
beram iran mano mamnoolkhorooj koneh va natunam bargardam,aya shoma etelati dar in
mored darid be man rahnamaee konid,momkeneh man mamno besham? va inkeh chera esrar
be talagh dar iran dareh?,ba vojodikeh man migam haminja mano talag bedeh.nemikham
beram iran choon dost nadaram khanevadeam befahman,rastash khodam ham nemidonam daram
kare dorosti mikonam ya na?vali be khatere dekhalathaye khanevadeh shoharam digeh
khasteh shodam va tahamole in zendegi ro nadaram,ta hala ham be khatere bacheham
sabr kardam,digeh onah hala bozorg shodan,fekr mikonam mogash resideh khodamo nejat
bedam.az rahnamaee shoma mamnoon misham.
LD
 Reply
Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write:
Doosteh aziz, LD:
Aval az har chi, khaylee mamnoon az naameyeh shoma. Man va "my abjee" khoshhaal
meesheem ke betooneem dar har mored be shoma komak koneem.
It's refreshing to see that you are starting to think about your life and what makes
"you" happy. Remember that ultimately,even before your children and your
husband, You need to be happy and if after 18 years of marriage, you're still struggling
to please your husband when it' comes to family issues, maybe it's time for a change.
Talaagh va jodaayee mamoolan rahnamaayeh delkhaaheh maa nist vali bazi vaghtaa laazemeh.
Aya baa shoharetoon dar in mored be toreh jeddi sohbat kardeen? Be shoharetoon goftin
ke daghighan che chizi daleeleh naaraahtieh shomast? If so, what has his respose
been so far? Has he tired to convince you that he wants this marriage to work out
or is he content to divorce you? From what we get from your letter, it seems like
he has already made up his mind and the only issue for him is to have it finalized
in Iran.
Hamoon tori keh neveshteen, talaagh dar Iran mashkook be nazar meerseh. Az shoharetoon
porseedeen ke daleelesh barayeh in kaar chieht? The process of divorce can very well
happen here in US with less money spent to go all the way to Iran! Our concern would
be that your husband may want to take advantage of the legal system in Iran to accommodate
himself. Hameentori ke khodetoon medoonin, vaghti keh be in mavaared mireseh, dar
Iran mard az hagheh beeshtari barkhordarehr va ehtemaaleh inkeh hatah shomaa natoonin
az Iran dobaareh kharej shavin vojood dareh. Although we are not legal experts when
it come to the system in Iran, rule of thumb is " Dar Iran hich chi hesaab ketaab
nadareh!". Moreover, in terms of alimony and division of property, your husband
can use to system to his favor.
We advise you to fist make your definite decision whether a divorce is the answer
for you and if that's the case, you have nothing to fear. If you can get your hands
on it, watch the very interesting Iranian documentary "Divorce, Iranian style".
It can sure be an eye opener.
Best of luck,
Abjee Pari and Abjee Fotti
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