Advice May 24, 2002 The Iranian Send us your questions and comments * She is still tough on me As soon as I heard about you I thought you might be able to help me. I love a girl in my High School. I have told her but she is not the kind of girl, I mean looking for a boyfriend and all that. I have tried to attract her several of times, but she is still tough on me. On her birthday I bought her a perfume and she did like it. I thought it was done but I thought wrong. I am currently doing my GSCE (my final exams). It does mean I am not going to see her again, maybe never. I really like her. By the way, she is got a close friend and I think it is all her fault. Could you help me!!! P Reply Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write: Dear P, Aaaaaaahhhh, the thrill of the chase for the male in hunt for love... The more the object of your affection eludes you, the more attractive she becomes, the more irresistible. Not to deny that some women also like to pursue unattainable men, but it seems to the abjeez that it is a dominant male trait to run after a woman even after NUMEROUS AND DIRECT SIGNS THAT SHE IS NOT INTERESTED. Dear Pouyan, we don't want to make you feel worse than you already do but you are very young and you don't know yet what love is. How can you love someone you don't even know? Right now, you are enamored of an image, a far away deity always slipping through your fingers, an idol on a pedestal jealously guarded by inconvenient obstacles (i.e. her friend). But dear, let us tell you something from the point of view of women: If a woman is attracted or interested in a man, she will not turn him down REPEATEDLY, and she will certainly not let a friend control her decision. Although some younger women may fall for peer pressure and hesitate to date someone that they believe would not be considered a part of their group, ultimately if they truly like someone, they are not going to sacrifice their happiness for the sake of peer acceptance. So put out of your head the idea that there is a third party standing between you and your happiness. The one and only obstacle preventing you from getting together with your dream girl is...well...the dream girl herself. Having said that, you should not let the experience bitter you. Just learn for next time that you can't make someone love you by being insistent, or worse, buying gifts. If someone likes you for the sake of the money spent on them, do you think it's true love? You seem sweet, just misguided. You should put some of that energy in courting a girl from whom you at least receive signs of equal attraction. Good luck and please let that girl out of your mind, and do not let this affect your final exams. Once you get to college next year, you will have forgotten about her in no time. Take care and come back for a shirnee and chayee with your abjeez very soon, Abjee Pari and Abjee Fotti Comment for The Iranian letters section Comment for Abjeez Fotti and Pari ABJEEZ Latest Previous RELATED Kobra Khanom SECTIONS * Recent * Cover * Writers * Arts & lit * Opinion * Satire * History * Interviews * Travel * Women * Rights * Surveys * All sections

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