|
June 16, 2003 Send us your questions and comments * Am I wrong to think this way? Becasue of recent events in my life, I have been drawn to want to learn more about Iran, their colture and their difference outlook in life. I'm European and therefore not too far geographically. But what I've learned online here it really mesmerized me. Neddless to say I met a wonderful Woman, from Iran, naturally living in USA. Stereotyping people nationality is not something I do very lightly -- we all have our fault. But I'm astioneshed at how in a country with so much history, the woman is considered an object. Yes there may be exceptions, but nevertheless she is considered as such. In regard to Iranian men, well not to generalize, I think they know they have to power to control things at will, a second or third wife, complete control of the life of another wife etc etc. It is wrong, it is wrong. And what surprised me also was the fact that custody of a child in case of a RARELY GRANTED DIVORCE from the husband turns to him, at 2 years for boy and 7 years for girl. I mean how can you allow this to happen. We are in a society were people are treated equally, men or women, but here we have somethng that totally blows me out of my mind. You may deduce I'm so deeply in love with this woman that I take to heart every single aspect. Am I wrong to think this way? Avid Reader
Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write: Dear Avid Reader, As we have said many times before, falling in love with an Iranian woman is very much like falling in love with Iran and its culture. Most likely, even if we have been brought up in the West, such as your Iranian-American girlfriend, there is a deeply embedded sense of preserving our culture and sharing it with others. We are happy that you are making such efforts to learn about your girlfriend's culture, history and even politics and social situation in Iran. The fact that you are so passionate about it, and care about the poor human rights situation especially as it pertains to Iranian women tells us a lot about the intensity and degree of feeling for your girlfriend. Interestingly enough, the abjeez have seen a lot of similarity between the Italian culture and the Iranian culture in terms of the macho attitude, the concepts of honor, and the traditional place of women in each culture. While you are right in denouncing laws that allow the taking of more than one wife, from what we have heard and read, it seems this practice is more the exception than the rule. One simple reason may be the dire economic situation of the country, which would not enable a husband to take on the financial responsibility of even one wife, let alone 2, 3, or 4. We think that a better explanation resides in the fact that simply, Iranians are much more modern in thinking than the Mullah governments would like. We venture to say that it is simply not as acceptable an idea as it may seem for an Iranian man to take on more than one wife, especially given the higher education level. In your situation, it seems there is no danger of your girlfriend ever falling into a polygamous marriage if that is what concerns you since, as you say, she lives in the US where such practice is illegal and socially taboo. We encourage you to continue learning about Iran and the Iranian culture not only through books or media reports, but through conversations with your girlfriend herself, who can bring you a more personal, perhaps more objective and clear explanation of the norms and customs which may seem strange to you. Our best wishes for the future, * Send this page to your friends
|
ALSO Latest RELATED
Astrology
for Lovers |
Reply
