April 23, 2004
Send us your questions
* Meekhaam beekhiyaal sham
I am sensitive person and normally don't want to hurt any body
and I try to respect people's beliefs but sometimes it bothers me
and think that I shouldn't let people's ideas affect
in my life. I can not let what they say go into my mind and
keep thinking why they said that? Sometimes
their conversations are in my mind and bothers me
although I didn't follow what they said.
I stop this sensitivity and try not to think
what I've heard from people? And why are their words are important
to me? I really want to help myself and begholeh maroof BEEKHIYAAL sham.
Many thanks for your help,
Being sensitive is not a flaw, rather we wish more people could
be sensitive because it is both an intense self-awareness as well as
awareness of others around you. From being sensitive, we can shed
a tear at the beauty of a piece of art or a landscape given to us by
Mother Nature, we can also empathize with our fellow human beings who
are in dire circumstances. Sensitivity is rather lacking in this world!
The flip side is that when we are sensitive we are also sensitive to
the bad. So hurtful comments, mean spirited people, ugly deeds and things
will likely demoralize and sadden us.
There is a difference between being sensitive and over-sensitive. You
have to look at it in terms of proportionality. Whether your reaction
to comments of those around you are too extreme or overly long lasting
for something that may have been said in jest, in pasing and without
the intention to hurt you. On the other hand, you have to figure out
whether you are simply seeing those comments and words as what they
are, hurtful statements intended to criticize, and demoralize you.
Oftentimes, people who tend to throw hurtful words and comments do
so because it gives them a feeling of superiority or a secret joy to
how much power they wield over you and then when you react and or confront
them with their behavior their easiest self defense is that you are being "too
Most often than not, when we feel hurt or demoralized it is because
the words and comments directed at us were done with bad intent. So you
to think about the intention of the person who has said those particular
words that have affected you so deeply. And if the person consistently
and repeatedly engages in such a pattern with you, then it is best to
avoid that person altogether because it is they who have a flaw in their
character and not you.
If you are a sensitive person you cannot will yourself into becoming
a "bikhyaal" or careless person. The best defense of a sensitive
person is to develop a hardshell so that people can not see how vulnerable
they are. But with that hard shell protection also comes an isolation
that may leave you with a dire need for intimate connection with someone
We hope that you do not leave the ranks of the sensitive in this world,
they are fast dwindling!