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July 29, 2004 Send us your questions and comments Question Chat romance Dear Abjeez, The reason of my email is because I'm in a confused situation right now. I am not an experienced person. I haven't had any serious relationships. I'll be 20 in 3 weeks. I have met a great guy. He lives in Lousiana... he's a great guy. Treats me right. I met him once at a party and then he moved to Louisiana to study. He's studying Mechanical Enginereeing. His parents are both doctors. He is just a great match. Besides all of these i'm scared to be with him. I really like him, maybe love him, but I can't love him. We've known each other through Chat, Emails, ect... He told me he likes me and I told him I like him too. And it was on both sides. We've been talking to each other for at least 5 days.. The way he talks on the phone is so awsome, he listens to me all the time. He respects me. I don't know though... I asked him if he calls me and him a friendship or more? He asked for my permission to see if he could call it more than that. I didn't know what to tell him. I really like him, so I said yes you may. This happened 2 days ago. I dont know. What do you think? Should I just stay friends and get to know him better before making a serious move? or should we just date untill we see what happens. HELP ME OUT HERE! Miss Confused.
Abjeez write: Dear Miss Confused: If you like this guy and he likes you back, there is no reason why you two should not give dating a try however a word of caution: MOVE SLOWLY... As we have mentioned in previous letters, internet romances can go at a faster pace than usual because it is set in a kind of fantasy world where everyone can be whoever they choose to be, and intimacy is quickly developed while at the same time it is all done at a safe distance and with anonymity. Here, you have met this guy in person at a party so there is not the added danger of being fooled by some stranger who pretends to be someone wholly different than they are. However, remember that you have met him only once in person and that , although he may seem right on paper, with great educational, and family prospects, you don't really know much about him other than what he has chosen to reveal.
Why don't you ask him if he can spend the next holidays from school in your hometown, if he has family and friends he can stay with, and then you guys could go on real dates where you would get to know about each other and also you could introduce him to your friends to see how he interacts with them as well. Don't try to put labels on each other such as boyfriend and girlfriend and try to let things develop a bit more naturally. Our best,
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