July 4, 2004
iranian.com

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Question

* Prejudice against halfbreeds

Dear Abjeez,

I am not writing to you about you about the usual kinds of issues that you give advice about. My problem isn't about sex or drugs or drinking or dating or divorce. In fact, I don't have any experience with any of this kind of stuff. You see I'm only 12, but I hope to gain some experience in the dating department in a few more years.

The issue that I would like you to discuss is one regarding dignity and what one should do when we encounter a person who is openly racist and prejudice against other people. My parents have told me that I must confront them and tell them that their ideas are wrong.  They say that when we remain silent in the face of such hate, we diminish ourselves and become a passive participant in the spreading of hate.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a little article for iranian.com called, "Like I'm from Pluto". It was about how life is from the perspective of a kid from a mixed family. More commonly we call ourselves halfbreeds. We have a unique perspective on what being Iranian and our other half means. In my case I am half-Iranian and half-American or Ameranian. I tried to make the article funny and pleasant, and I got many nice letters. I got some, though, that weren't so nice. Let me share with you what one of iranian.com's feature writers wrote to me after reading my article:

if you want to have a real Iranian product you
have to have two Iranian making it.... 
I am sick and tried of seeing Iranian who are
married to lower class non-Iranians and their kids have no
Iranian identity and do not speak the language and do
not consider themselves better. Most of the times
this fat, homely Americans think they are better and that
is why their husbands have married them. Of course I
am one of the reasons they realize that not every
Iranian man is lucky enough to have a beautiful
woman of her own culture and may be someday when you are
really grown up, you will see the longing in your
dad's eyes when he looks at beautiful Iranian women
out of his reach.

I got pretty mad and wrote her back. I told her that she couldn't read well because my article made clear that my mom is Iranian, not my dad as she seemed to believe.  She wrote me one final insulting email after I told her that she should not talk about my mother. Here's what she said:

You are paranoind and troubled. I did not call your
mother names but I bet bottom dollar that she is not
very attractive and that makes you defensive.

I showed my parents what this lady wrote and they laughed and shook their heads. They said that they have encountered far worse during their marriage from Americans and Iranians. I asked them what I should do when I meet such people and they said anytime, anywhere you find prejudice and racism, you must take a stand against it because if you don't, you become you eventually become insensitive to it and how it hurts people. You hear a lot about racists in America, but not much is said about Iranian racists.

Many Iranian people seem to ignore when one of their own makes hateful racist comments about people from other ethnic backgrounds. When Americans discriminate against others, Iranians call it racism, but when an Iranian discriminates against others, far too many Iranians keep silent or agree. They fail to realiase that hate is an equal opportunity emotion. Each person must decide for himself to embrace or eradicate it. Sitting on the fence in silence only enables racists to continue spreading their hate.

While this lady would deny me the right to claim my Persian heritage, I want her to know that I will never surrender my claim to my heritage no matter what she or any other racist Iranians or racist Americans think about me. I am a half-breed. I am proud of it. There are many Iranian half-breeds living in America, and the world, today and we are NOT going anywhere, no matter what she says or thinks.  This racists heritage is our heritage and we won't let her take our share from us today or ever!!!

My parents said that the only way to change a racist is by humiliating their ideas and beliefs. They said that I should write another article discussing hate against halfbreeds without mentioning her name. I did this. I sent it in. I wrote the Editor and he knows what this lady said, but he felt that she had the right to voice her opinion. Thus, the second article never appeared.

I want to be a writer someday. I want to make a difference when I am older. With a keyboard and the Internet I can begin doing that now, unlike the real world where my age always puts me at a disadvantage to adults. In the digital world I can stand toe-to-toe against any adult as long as my positions are stronger.

My problem is this.  I can't understand why the Editor would enable such racism to continue. My parents say fight anywhere you find it. The Editor opts to be silent. Who is right?  Are my parents wrong? Does having the right to say what you want mean that others must tolerate and accommodate hate? I am confused. What good is free speech to any of us, if we shrink from speaking out against bigoty and hatered when it slaps us in the face?

I told my mom and dad that the Editor didn't want to confront a fellow Iranian by printing my second article, especially since I was only a half-breed. My dad said that he right to choose for himself to remain silent or speak out. My mom said everyone has to make such choices in life. Then she went and got a book and showed me something in it about when Nazis went around arresting different groups of people. Here's what it said:

First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist-so I said nothing. Then they came for the Social Democrats, but I was not a Social Democrat-so I said nothing. The they came for the trade unionists, but I was not a trade unionist-so I said nothing. And then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew-so I said nothing. Then when they came for me, there was no one left who could stand up for me.

I'm sorry if you think this is stupid.

Lance

Reply

Abjeez write:

Dear Lance

Thank you for your letter. We remember your article and we enjoyed it immensely. We liked to read about your brutally honest and at the same time funny perspective.

One comment we would make is definitely the use of the term "halfbreed" is not appropriate especially for someone, like you, who stands against prejudices and racism no matter what group of people it is coming from. The use of the word breeding makes us think of animals, like dogs and horses, which it is ocmmon to breed. The idea that you can breed humans i.e. make the race pure by only mating within the same race or culture or religion was brought forward by a "scientific" movement called eugenics and is very much associated with Nazis although they are not the ones who came up with it.

You are a person of mixed cultural heritage and we have always said for people in your situation, it is very much up to you whether to look at the glass half empty or half full. Namely, no matter the difficulties, ignorance and prejudices that lie ahead, it is up to you to decide whether this is going to be a positive experience in your lfie or not. Embrace both sides of your family and take the best from each culture.

We believe we are familiar with the hateful, shallow and ignorant woman who has written you the hate letter. She has sent so may simialr hate-filled missives to various readers and writers on iranian.com that she can announce her presence merely by the style and content of her letters. It is right for your parents to tell you to stand up to people with racism. That is, you should never let what other people think affect your choices in life or how you think about yourself. But to educate racists is a different thing, simply because these people are not open to a civilize ddialogue most often than not.

We are sure that the reason the editor published her hate-filled letter is not only because she has the right to voice her opinion, but also because sunlight is the best disinfectant. That is, by including all the diverse voices of Iranians out there, we are privy to the diversity of opinions and views held by our compatritots and like it or not, this woman probably represents a good portion of the public opinion. It is better to air out this kind of letter for all to see so that we are reminded of the existence of these people and we have the choice to voice our opinion about it.

If you want to write an article that deals generally with the topic of prejudices and racism in our culture, without personally attacking the woman who wrote you, and it abides by all the other criteria enunciated by the editor, we do not see any reason that it would not be published.

Our best to you,

Abjeez

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