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June 22, 2004 Send us your questions and comments Question * Sex ruins friendship? Dear Abjeez, My question is really simple. Can i have sex with my best friend and keep the friendship? R.M.
Abjee Fotti replies: Well it depends. Are you trying to take your friendship to the next, romantic level? Or are you trying to say that you want to have sex with your best friend without changing anything in your reltaionship? It seems to me very rare to be able to keep sex in a neat little box to be opened and locked away according to your whims and think that it is not going to affect you emotionally. One of you might end up not wanting it to be just "friends with benefits". One of you might end up wanting to date for real. And this could very well be you! You simply don't know what feelings will develop down the line.This will cause a lot of problems in your friendship if you both don't feel the same way. Honestly, I don't think this is a good idea and you are setting yourself up for pain. Abjee Pari replies: On the other hand, there is a chance it could work out. You are best friends and as such, there is already a level of trust and intimacy there. Sex can bring out feelings that aren't usually associated with being just friends. Maybe you two already have these feelings for each other. It might be worth exploring. However please consider how many other friends with benefits your best friend has and be smart: Use protection against STDs and pregnancy.
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