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Just Breathe
Relationships

By Neda Najibi
May 2001
The Iranian

Mona and Akef - Part 2

A few days passed and Mona started reading the emails sent back and forth between her and, Luke, her ex-boyfriend. You're probably wondering if this Luke is the same person that is dating Mahtab (Couple 2). Yes it is. What a small world and you're in for some unexpected twists and turns with these two sets of couples.

-----Original Message-----
From: LUKE
To: MONA
Subject: I AM TRULY SORRY

I hope that one day you can forgive me for the wrong that I've done you. I may not be where you are in certain things but I believe that I do try to treat people the way I would want to be treated.

Nobody's perfect not even you. The last time you told me you didn't want to see me anymore and then turned around a few days later and said you did. I tried to be honest with you by telling you as I had told you before, that I was not sure what it was I wanted and that my major focus was on resolving my situation at the time.

You told me that was fine and that you were willing to accept where I was. At that time I never had any intention of sleeping with anyone else but as life typically proves, with uncertainty comes the unknown. I guess this was one of the many possibilities that come along with the uncertainty.

Just know, as I'm sure you do, that you are TRULY a SPECIAL person, not only in my eyes but in almost anyone's eyes who can really appreciate human kindness and compassion. I am SORRY it didn't work with us but the bottomline is that with all I've gone through in the last several years of my life and my current unresolved situation, I'm just NOT in the same place as you are and that may haunt me for some time to come but nonetheless it is what it is.

I wish you nothing but the best and if you feel that the time we spent together was a total waste, then for that I'm truly sorry as well. I don't think it was.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mona
To: Luke
Subject: I'm not perfect

I'm aware of giving people RESPECT while I treat them as I too like to be treated. But, yes I do give myself goals and standards that I expect myself to fulfill, because this life, this chance is unmeasurable and I take and give and enjoy what I can whilst not forgetting my loved ones, being unselfish!

You cheated! You slept with another woman! What were you thinking?

Luke, YOU want to solve your current situation -- that is one thing you WANT. I told you that was fine and it IS fine because that's what partners/friends do; they become available for one another; they become the wall so the other could lean on; they become the sponge in order to absorb; they become truthful, understanding, caring, and have an insurmountable supply of love and hope ready for taking/receiving.

I don't know what to say. I want you to just read it and leave it at that. But I remember once I told you that the worst thing you could do was to sleep with another woman. You said, "Oh Mona, it's not about sex" That doesn't even matter to me. It's just shocking to hear a man -- you - always talk about consistency and do something like this -- it was inconsistent or was it consistent with who you are?

I want you to know that to me you are perceived in many ways. Right now I want to mention one in particular. I see you as a boy -- innocent, wanting to play, to run, to live life to the fullest and BELIEVE ME I want you to. When I see you, I see beyond you, I see your personal struggle, your reasoning, your tolerance, your dealings with situations -- and I see that you do love me and I believe you too are scared to lose me but you're just not ready for me and I don't know when you will be. But I know you will be and then you will have to come to me and then I will say I'm sorry but it's too late.

I forgive you!

This situation is familiar to me in the sense that women tend to read more in a relationship than men do. After interviewing Mona about this, I found out that she had been with Luke for four years. I asked her why she told me they were only dating for 17 months? She told me she was embarrassed to admit to me the time she wasted. I told her that if a lesson was learned, it's never wasted!

Mona and Luke were together for four years and if they were honest they would have either ended their relationship sooner or they would have been together today. And quite frankly all it takes is one lie.

Luke clearly wants to be a bachelor, a player. This will pass in time and he should seek to find someone who will help ENHANCE his life, not just fill the lingering hours he had available to prevent boredom. And since this is the same person who is pursuing Mahtab (our second couple) I will refrain from commenting any further.

Mona found herself drowning in tears from the emails. And then the phone rang. It was her uncle who told her that his friend flew into Paris and wants to meet her. She told him it was fine. That evening her uncle's friend, Babak, came to the hotel and they had dinner there.

Babak was very direct and told Mona she was chubby and that she had to lose weight if she wanted to see him again. She couldn't believe what she was hearing and yet she was craving the male attention. It was her drug, she was addicted. She didn't want to be alone.

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