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Just Breathe
Relationships

By Neda Najibi
May 2001
The Iranian

Hengameh and Sirus - Part III

Sirus attended his first term at the University of Southern Califoirnia and had a heavy workload. Months passed and Hengameh's divorce became final and she enrolled at the university and held a part-time job. She moved into her own one-bedroom apartment.

She was happy for the first time since the separation. Sirus wasn't her only admirer. There was Mehdi who went by the name Joe, a builder who had his own construction business in Chatsworth. Joe and Hengameh had a lot in common. Joe divorced his wife because she had an affair. Joe has a five-year-old son.

He took Hengameh to a Karaoke var on Ventura Boulevard. It was her first time. She ended up singing a duet with another guy in the bar and they performed "I've Got You Babe" by Sonny and Cher. She played the role of Sonny because she had short hair and the guy at the bar was tall, lean and had long hair! They had a great time but somehow Hengameh felt that she was betraying Sirus.

Sirus and Hengameh didn't have a committed relationship but he made his intentions obvious. And taking that for granted was not something Hengameh wanted to do. She invited Sirus over to her place and they talked for a while to catch up. And, yes, Sirus kept bringing her roses; it became routine! Sirus was about to leave and he leaned over to kiss her and she pulled away and silently realized that she just wasn't interested in him! She told him that she wasn't ready.

Of course Sirus was disappointed. He couldn't understand what the excuse was this time. So they discussed it. She told him quite honestly that she believed in being chaste until she got married. Sirus respected her decision. He had never met a woman this strong in her convictions. They parted and she gave him a hug and he left.

Realization knocked on the door. Hengameh knew at this point she had to make a decision. She needed Sirus because it helped her to deal with her divorce. It was a surprisingly cold California day. There was no driving snow, no freezing temperatures but it was cool and brisk. She kept feeling that she was to be blamed somehow for her marriage. It didn't matter how many psychiatrists, family and friends told her that it wasn't her - it was him. But she still felt responsible.

Hengameh's sister added to her doubts about everything. She told Hengameh negative things about Sirus; nothing specific, but just enough negativity to plant the seed of doubt in her mind. This was of course very evil of her sister. She found every opportunity to bad mouth Hengameh's decisions to their parents and to her husband and his family.

She brought up issues that ranged from differences in religion to differences in outlook in life and then the ultimate lie that that Hengameh and Sirus were having sex. She did anything she could to destroy the relationship. Hengameh's father forbid her to see Sirus again. Her sister's manipulations worked. Inevitably the truth surfaced but unfortunately not right away. Poor Hengameh endured so much pain from her sister -- for many years.

Hengameh was hysterical when her father called her. She didn't understand how or why her father would say such things. At the time she had no clue that her sister was responsible for all of this.

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