Thirteen
December 29, 2004
iranian.com
Limit of Necessity & Necessity of Limit
I have mastered English
As my second language
To such an extent and with so much effort
And pride that
Now I find myself
Hardly able to speak a coherent Parsi sentence
With the glamour that I used to write
My B.A. thesis in accounting
Therefore may I suggest changing the international language
From English to Parsi
So I begin to develope an interest in this foreign language again
Now that it has become a necessity
And oh boy it is hard... real hard
That is as hard as English Promise is a promise
Of course the world should help the mullahs in Iran
Build nuclear weapons
Particularly when the mullahs' state motto is:
Death to America, Death to Israel, Death to ...
For words are words
And words are promises
And promises must be kept under all circumstances
Let mullahs have the weapon
And let them use it
To vaporise all the inhabitants of both America and Israel at once
And don't you dare bring the case of children
To block the transfer of atomic weapons to mullahs
For they must be helped to fulfill their promise of Death
In order to save their face and reputation world wide One!
Most Iranians are grown unhappy
With the norms and values
Imposed on them by the Islamic state
They might even be willing travel thousands of miles
To leave their country
If that helps them get a way with from it all
But the irony is
The moment Iranians are exposed to taste
First class authentic Western modernity
They all freak out
And want to return to what they were running away from in the first
place
As quickly as possible
Buddy, make up your mind
Decide what kind of world you want to belong
And then roll up your sleeves
To get ready to die for that choice!
You heard it right, die!
No more banking
With
Banks
Becoming
So popular
We have forgotten
Ever since
To smell
The perfume of brand new tender paper money
All bounded by a cute wrap
Flip through them quickly please
Like a thick book of poetry
And stack after stack
Each in an absolutely uncompromising uniformity
To feel and hear its breeze
Touching your skin face
With promises in perfume
Hardly ever failing you  Name and Names
They say
Allah
Has 99 names
I
Checked all of them
None of them
Was in any way related to money
Yet
You
See
Muslim
Folks
Printing
Money
Lots
And lots of it
Without
Sharing
Any
Of
The
Leaves
With
Me Absentia
A distinguished Persian delegation came to me
And they asked me
As to when I am going to assume
The Imperial crown of Persia
I said as long as the north American triad
That is, Mexico, America, and Canada
Are to accept me
As their King in absentia
With some reasonable bi-weekly staple salary
Generous enough
So when I throw a party for my guests
I wouldn't blush before them
For lack of beverage and otherwise variety Sin
Everytime
I see an expatriate Iranian
Who says
"I will not ever return home never again"
I tell myself outloud
So every one would be able to hear it
What a lie
For he will not ever overcome this primordial urge
To cleanse himself with water
No matter
How many rolls of toilet paper
He is going to dispense
After
Each
And
Every
Bowl
Movement
Glory
When
You hear
What some Iranians
Talk about their kings
You feel as if their imperial majesty
Was a pimp
Running a first class whore house
Honorification
If one day
I become King in Persia
With a good deal of power
The first thing I do is to
Make Ahura Mazda the official
Supreme deity of Pars
And then the second thing I do
Is to convert all Muslims into Zoroastrians
And those who have resisted the conversion
I will make them pay heavy taxes
Beyond and above what the ordinary Persian citizens have been
paying
And the third one of course
Is to put a gracious fire holder in every mosque
To light it up for special occasion for honorifcation
National & Huge
When you are
a king
You can screw almost anybody
But none can screw you back
Until the entire people
Get united as one
And now come on and see
How the king gets screwed huge
Beyond man's wildest imagination Voice
It is
Not that
Whether or not
You could endure
The whipping slashes
Coming down on your back
But that whether or not you
Could endure them without screaming
Way of Champions
It
Is
Not
As
Much
About
Good
And
Bad
And
Evil
As
It
Is
About
Socially
Agreed
Upon
Human
Relations
In
A
Given
Society
 Sociology of Not-A- Full-Glass
May I
Recommend
To all Muslims
A glass of good wine
To be drunk during the meal
For not only it is a
Medicine that helps
Digestion
But also
It does
Lubricate
A much smoother
Relation between soul
And body toward social cohesion
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