 Heart vs. mind
Giving advice on
overly realistic premises
By Kourosh Saghafi
May 26, 2004
iranian.com
Dear Abjeez,
I have been reading your advice
column, mostly out
of
curiosity, for a few months now. while i i can certainly
appreciate you sharing your wisdom and experience with
those who might need a different perspective on
issues, and not necessarily feel obligated to follow
your advice.
I know that i am one of many out there who tend to
disagree with your views and your methods and ideas
wholeheatedly.
What really annoys me and what i have
seen too often, is your passionate devotion to advise
people to save themselves the pain and suffering by
not listening to their hearts and follow their minds.
just as it was demonstrated by your recent reply to
the 39 year old woman in japan (i remebered her letter
to you back in early fall or late summer and i
remember how incorrectly you had jumped into
conclusions about his inentions back then).
Do you not
realize or perceive the tragedy that would occur if
people truly followed their minds instead of their
heart? How could you have been sure he was and still
is thinking of taking advantage of her? all he said
was i would not want to marry you, which was and still
is subject to change and the fact that she had to
convert and you suddenly ran with the idea that all he
wanted was sex????
Do you really think saving one from short-term grief
and so called suspicion, would actually solve any
problems? How can you suggest someone lacks courage or
strenghth, if he or she can not take it upon themselves
to just walk away and leave the past behind? is that
some kinda modern-age love advice? It is an all too
common charactristic among you and those who are in
the same profession as you to base your advice on
overly realistic premises. i guess in your
imagination, people are made of iron or steel, and
that they can be programmed and reprogrammed in an
instant. you'd think to yourselves: oh yes, just tell
them that they are wasting their lives and
psycologically scare them into believing it and
everything else will work itself out.
That is one big reason i despise therapy and those who even bring the idea
up, and please do not even get the idea that i have been advised to seek
therapy. i hate it because it is solely based on psycological manipulation
of people.
 Your assumption is incorrect on dispesing advice on that you would
not know the
entire story, and base your judgement on the short synopsis that you
are presented with, and yet, you still insist on giving your harshest
and most
straightforward
solutions. If you can see it in yourselves to base your opinions on a
little more love and a little less so called realities of life!,
then you would
make life a bit easier for your readers.
I always believed your mission
was based
on resolving the matters of the heart and to show people how to gently
deal with them, not to create winners or losers or warn them
of terrible consequences
awaiting
them if they don't follow through.
May is Mamnoon
Iranian.com Month
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Heart vs. mind
