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Wednesday
May 9, 2001

* Not your site any more

What a well written letter -- polite, sincere and making such good sense, didn't you think? (Sina's "Who are we kidding") I, too, am proud of your site. A serious and yet fun site with "mohtavaa". What a concept.

But, every once in while (you knew a "but" was coming, didn't you?) you rattle my pride ever so slightly. The seezdeh-bedar joke ["Not without my mom"] was one of those times. "Bahram" and "Karin" may be small examples of that. Let me tell you why I said "may be".

I read both "Bahram" and "Karin". I enjoyed reading them. The stories didn't bother me. But blushing at work because I didn't expect to find them in your site at 10 in the morning did. (some of us don't work alone : )

Also, after reading Sina's letter I realized that once my kids are old enough to read, I may not like for them to learn about throbbing nether regions from mommy's cultural daily newsletter.

You know what? We demand a certain standard and caliber from you. You know why? Because this is not just your site anymore! You have gone beyond "one man and his site". Iranian.com is now mine too. Forgive me for this claim. It's not my fault that I have come to respect and expect so much from your site. And and I think I am speaking for a lot of us out there.

Mehrnaz

* Surprised and impressed

As I read "Bahram", I was surprised and impressed that an Iranian woman would bear her most intimate feelings. The letters that have followed from Iranian women reinforced my impressions. They're human too, they just like to put on this facade.

I thank the writer, Nooneh, for taking me a long way back to believing that Iranian women are warm, caring, affectionate and erotic. The reponses to her article just tell me that they have a cold hard shell that for some reason, they think, needs to be ever present.

I just hope that the article is not indicative of the way typical Iranian men behave. I find it amazing that no one has commented on Bahram's behavior. Did we get engrossed in Nooneh's sexual experience, and forget that there is another person in this story?

Thanks to The Iranian for having the openness to print such a well-written piece.

Cyrus Shargh

* Away from the crotch

Look, is EVERYBODY who reads The Iranian supposed to be love-sick and sexually frustrated? Could we PLEASE have something other than articles by a bunch of torshideh writers about their pathetic "romantic" lives? What is this, Days of Our Lives? Please, let's get away from the crotch and have some substance.

John Mohammadi

* Iranian Anais Nin

I do not have much time these days to read anything other than monographs and documents pretaining to my rather esoteric research. But as usual the outraged comments in the letters section made me turn to "Bahram".

I was thoroughly impressed and delighted by the ease and flow of what must be our own Iranian Anais Nin. Or maybe it is more like Sally Jessica Parker in "Sex in the City".

It is not easy to write pornography that is so convincing and still not very vulgar. Beside the ease of the eroticism of the story, it was also very funny. Well done.

One thing though "To catch a Thief" was set in the French Riviera and not Italy. And for the life of me I cannot remember the title of the second movie and I am going to spend the good part of the week trying to remember it. If someone knows it can you let me know.

S. Sabety

* Like eating, sleeping

Contrary to the other readers who found the story "Bahram" distasteful, I found it very amuzing and interesting to read. Sexuality is a natural aspect of human life, just like eating and sleeping. The only reason that sexuality has become a private and taboo subject in human societies, is that mating and reproduction has become tied in with property ownership.

I would guess that this happened when humans settled down and became farmers, instead of nomads. So, who you mate with, and who your children are, are tied in with what you own, and how much power you have. Other than that, there is no rational and logical reason why sexuality should be a taboo subject, while eating and sleeping are not, when both are equally natural aspects of our lives.

The people who find sex offensive, and talking about it "shameful", need to get over their backward and restricted mentality, and frankly, get over themselves. The only result of denying and suffocating expressions of sexuality -- contrary to what these people might think -- are further reckless sexual behavior, particularly by the young.

HamMihan

* Place to practice tolerance

I have been following up on all the debates concerning the feature article ["Bahram"]. I strongly believe any publication should stick with a set of guidelines, or red lines if you will. However, this forum is a great place to practice tolerance. If we ever believe in democratic sociey, we would need to believe the concept of tolerance and accepting assorted life styles - the true fact that democratic societies have prospered so far.

Armin

P.S. I personally liked the story.

* REAL, intelligent

I loved this story ["Bahram"]. The woman who wrote this story IS not only REAL but is also candid, charismatic, and intelligent. I'm sorry that there are people out there who are so uptight that they cannot see that human behavior is boundless, normal, and global. I love this website for its diversity. Don't change. Please!

Karin

* America's success credited to immigrants

For someone who advocates an open mind, your article exhibited some of the most pretentious and narrow-minded preachings I have ever heard ["Embrace"]. As I read on and on, all I saw was an increasing number of generalizations that revealed how skewed your perspective of the world is and how blind you really are.

You do not understand that someone's culture is the root of his or her identity that provides a strong foundation that develops the very character that builds a strong and prosperous society. One of the major problems in America is that there is no concrete, defined identity because relative to other nations, the United States is very young and has very weak roots.

There are so many ways that these cultures have helped this country and much of America's success is credited to these immigrants. I'm not going to go into how very wrong all of your specific accusations of certain things in our culture were (for instance, our food is healthier than traditional American food and, heart disease being one of the most imminent problems in this country, more and more people have turned to Asian and Middle Eastern foods for healthier meals and life styles). I think I've repeated enough times how throwing away ones roots and very identity is showing the greatest disrespect and hatred for oneself.

As a seventeen-year-old that came to this country at a very young age I am proud to tell you sir that I am indeed still an Iranian and will always proclaim myself as one with the utmost pride >>> FULL TEXT

Mitra Yousefi

* What the hell is American culture?

To be quite honest it is not worth mine or anybody else's time to criticize what has been said in this article ["Embrace"]. When one's total (lack of) understanding of the Iranian culture is "What the hell is Iranian culture? Baba Karam? Snapping fingers and making loud noises? Fat guys with thick mustaches shouting "Assghar aaghaa! Biyaa beraqs deegeh"? Old women with nose jobs? Over-priced Chanel handbags? The ability to crush another person's feelings with total aplomb? Driving a BMW? Eating ghormeh sabzi and chelo kabab until you die of a heart attack?" what else can I add?

I don't think it is fair or right for me to say, What the hell is American culture? Disco? Burgers? Dancing? Doing drugs? Fat ladies with HUGE lardy butts drinking diet coke with a burger (and fries)? Young skinny girls with nose jobs? Over-priced designer clothes? Eating burger, burger and burger till they die of heart attack? I THINK NOT?

I suppose what I am trying to say to the writer is please go read, investigate, understand a culture before writing about it.

Majid

* CANNOT forget?

Freddie Mercury's parents were from India and not Iran ["Embrace"]. Surly you should have researched a bit better. However, your points are well taken. It is very sad that you want Iranians to forget about their heritage! Embrace the country you live in but why forget about where you are from? Making fun of any culture will only upset the people of that culture. If that was your intention, you achieved it.

H. Fard
An Iranian who have lived outside Iran for 23 years and is very proud of being Iranian and CANNOT forget it

* Be (better) Iranian

Yariz Kangani talks about some very important issues in "Embrace". I agree with a lot of the things said. There are things in our culture and our everyday life we shouldn't particularly be proved of. There are lots of feelings and beliefs that prevent us from breaking away from what we are and adapt to new ways.

Reasons for that, I think, are

(1) We are too proud of ourselves, and for the most part for no reason.

(2) We are too proud of our past history, which for the most part is great, but it's in the past. The question is what have you done for me lately? What have we accomplished for ourselves or what have we contributed to the world in the past couple of centuries?

(3) We are very good at blaming others for our situation and often expecting the very same people we blame, to fix things for us.

(4) We're just too lazy. We're too comfortable with what is. We don't change thins around us. We wait for changes to happen.

Having said all that, I disagree with the notion that "If you live in the United States, then you are American." I don't think we need to "act American." Look at, as examples, Italian-American or Latino-American minorities in the U.S.. They have contributed to this society in so many ways and "embraced" it with open arms, while "embracing" their own culture and heritage.

I believe we need to make a lot of changes for the better, and it must start with our own families and ourselves. We need a better understanding of our culture and work constantly to improve it. We should stay Iranian, feel Iranian and be (a better) Iranian.

Ray Irani

* Culture of HOPE

I just read "Embrace". firstly I must say that I agree on many points with the writer but I can not understand his conclusion. Yes, he is right we must try to understand the world and think differently about it. We must master foreign languages, especially languages of nations we live with them now.

But CAN WE FORGET THAT WE ARE IRANIAN? the writer mentioned Napoleon as an example. Did he forget his Italian heritage? All historians agree that he was fond of Italians and Italian culture, and his rule in Italy was accompanied by more understanding than any other country in Europe, invaded by his army.

Writer also mention General Marshal and General Schwarzkopf. Both are among the finest leaders the U.S. has ever had. But did they forget that they are American when they had been living in Iran or China? They learnt about that nation, and used that information and those skills later.

So we must learn, but we shouldn't forget. And by the way, WHAT IS IRANIAN CULTURE? I really consider that question an insulting. Iran has a culture and a very good one. It is the culture of HOPE. Let's learn about it too. We can not deny our personalities, we must learn about the world to improve it.

Ali Dadpay
Ph.D student

* Not surprised

I think Yariz Kangani ["Embrace"] should take he own advice and learn about the culture she is commenting on. She probably knows less about Iranian culture than "the Schwarzkopfs" who, according to her lived in Iran only for four years.

If to her Iranian culture is synonymous only with Baba Karam, ghormeh sabzi and Fat Guys (Fat guys?! Is she blind to the fact that obesity is a big problem of her beloved culture and cuntry, the USA? And so is heart problems?) I am not surprised she does not wish to have anything to do with it. But I assure you, there is more to being an Iranian, a lot more! But I don't think she wants to find out.

Siamak

* Bahais care about their Persian identity

Jim Entessari ["Not Persians"] has chosen a very narrow interpretation of my comments; his view that the quotaions are a contradiction only prove his superficial understanding of the Bahai ideals. Does love and respect for of one's neighbors and community mean one does not have family identity or simply one does not care for ones own home (Iran)? Bahai simply believe that in order to bring peace and tranquility to the world , we must see humanity as one family and become united despite all the diversity. I think our forced flight from our homeland and experience as Iranians scattered throughout the world enable us a better understanding of this concept as we have become Iranian-Americans, Iranian-swedes etc.

To understand this, I think one only has to look upon not just the words uttered in praise of Iran but the actions and sacrificial deeds of Iranian Bahais who continue to dedicate their lives and in some cases give their lives in the path of service for humanity. To the Western eye and writers they were better known as Persian and they have been judged and credited according to their deeds and actions. Perhaps the most well known of these Persian Bahais and the most written about was Abdul-Baha (1844-1921) who traveled to the West in 1912 >>> FULL TEXT

Faryar Mansuri

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