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A new strategy?
Nothing is going to happen. I mean NOTHING.

By Asadollah Bani
September 24, 2002
The Iranian

I know the number of people who visit is well over 100,000 and one of these people may have answer.

Q. Why on earth can't Ayatollah Jannati make ONE proper speech? I am beginning to get think he has an IQ of 1.3.

I have been listening to his Friday prayers (oh yes! I listen to all of them, to draw my own conclusions). Some of you may remember that during the war with Iraq some ayatollahs who worked for Iraq, used the Friday prayers sermon as a means to report the accuracy of Iraqi attacks on certain part of Iran.

For example, their sermon went like this, "Last night when Iraqis tried to bomb the power station, with the help of God, the bombs fell 1 km south of the station and the only bomb that hit the station did the least damage. Our brothers have fixed the damage and thank God everything is back to normal."

After a while the military took action and demanded a ban on sermons discussing spedific Iraqi attacks. Soon after, one ayatollah was removed from his position as friday prayer leader, and no one heard of him ever again. Some say he escaped to Pakistan.

Also remember that before the U.S. attack on Afghanistan, Hashemi Rafsanjani gave U.S. troops a "be careful out there" speech and warned them about how Afghans may react. His speech was based on the English-Afghan war of 1847 (information escapes my mind).

Friday prayers have been used to broadcast false information. But Ayatollah Jannati's speech this past Friday (September 20, 2002) sounded like "Oh dear!" Why? Because of the U.S. troop build up.

Recently the U.S. has been focusing on the fact that Iranian government has been hiding Al Qaida members. That adds salt to injury for Jannati & Co. It seems that the IRI leadership is getting worried that U.S. forces will eventually be used against them.

So it was interesting that in his sermon, Jannati suddenly and uncharacteristically praised Iranian intellectuals and academics. Thus, it seems, there's a new strategy. Hold talk with the U.S. and make sure U.S. troops use the Persian Gulf as a winter resort.

Conclusion? Nothing is going to happen. I mean NOTHING.

* US troops will stay around and watch the Boushehr Nuclear facility,

* Russia will make millions building something that dates back to 1970s,

* Saddam will die as a hero of the Iraqi people,

* Population of Dubai will increase by more than a million Iranians,

* Iran will borrow $3 billion to improve something that would result in owing $7 billion to the World Bank,

* Canada will have better highways (thanks to deals with Rafsanjani & Co.),

* Large numbers of Aghazadeh-ha will move to Lavizan Park and build a large wall around it,

* Ali Daie will become the coach of the Iranian Youth Federation,

* Some ayatollahs will die of old age and another 18 official holidays will be added to the working calendar,

* Young students will grow up and join something they never thought about,

* Doctors will change their profession to become part of the ever growing bazaari merchant class,

* Iran will face a shortage of doctors and import some from India and Pakistan,

* Faezeh Rafsanjani will move to Paris as the Iranian representative for something like the Developing and Islamic Countries Organization,

* Keyhan newspaper in Iran will continue printing "Top Secret" information on other countries, especially the U.S.,

* The Council for We'll-Tell-You-Who's-The-Boss (Maslehate Nezaam) will open its offices around the world with its HQ in Zurich to monitor various maslehats globally,

* Peykan will continue to be the most popular car in Iran,

* ....

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