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Berim shomaal?
The taxi driver asked me out

By Lily Raissi
July 24, 2002
The Iranian

A couple of days ago I was in a rush to go to the hairdressers in Tehran's Maydoon Mohseni. I got a "agence" (taxi) and asked the dude to take me to the hairdressers. From my accent , he figured out that I lived in "khaarej". I guess it made him excited, since a couple of minutes later he asked if he could play his latest Bon Jovi tape while he was driving.

Driver - "Bebakhshid Khaanoom?"

Me - "Baleh?!"

Driver - "Agar moozik e khaareji bezaaram, naaraahat nemishin?"

Me - "Na aaghaa, raahat baashid."

I could hear the dude singing. He was practically screaming with his thick Iranian accent: "EEETS MYYY LIFEEE...." To be honest I was a little bit shocked. I had never even imagined that a taxi driver in the ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN would have the guts to do such a thing while taking a passenger to the desired location. But this was just the begining.

Driver - "Bebakhshid khaanoom shomaa taahaalaa shomaal raftin?"

Me - (Thinking HAH..yaaroo mano daste kam gerefteh!) Baleh aaghaa ekhtiyaar daarid."

Driver - "Shomaalo doost daarid?"

Me - "Khob malomeh aaghaa - aadam kolli oonjaa aabo havaash avaz mishe." (I so wish I hadn't said that!)

Silence... I was admiring the view outside when he started again.

Driver - "Bebakhshid Khaanoom?"

Me - "Befarmaayid?!"

Driver - " Mikhaastam beporsam agar eftekhaar midin ke be etefaagheh hamdigeh chand rooz berim shomaal."

I was shocked - my mouth was literally 2 meters open and I had no clue what to say. I had NEVER EVER even imagined a taxi driver asking me out! Taazeh oonam taxi driveee ke 3 metr reesh daareh o boogandooeh lol... honestly I guess i gotta come with a full stock of body spray for the poor taxi drivers next time) sheesh.. hamaro bargh migireh maaneh badbakhto cheraagh
nafti - haalaa cheraagh nafti ham ghanimateh!

Me - "Errr.. BEBAKHSHID?" (I asked again - thinking I had heard wrong)

Driver - "Khaanoom mikhaastam bebinam agar miyaayin baa hamdige berim shomaal, oonjaa amoom ye villaa daare bad taa deletoonam bekhaad mashroob pashroob hast - raastesh az rikhtet khayli khosham... "

Me - (Oh my god. The dude was asking me to go to shomal with him...) "Aghaa lotf konid haminjaa vaaysid tasmim gereftam ke kami piyaade raah beram."

Driver - "Vaa! Khaanoom naarahaat shodi?"

Me - " Aghaa shomaa jaaye pedare mano migirin! In harfaa chiye? Aslan khejaalat
bekeshid"

Driver - (While stopping the car) "Vaa! Khaanoom khob khoshgeli dige, cheh mishe kard? Belakhareh hameh del daaran!"

I asked the dude how much I owed him but he refused to charge me. So I just gave him a couple of notes and came out of the car. The dude wanted to give me his phone number but I just ignored him and walked away.

To the girls who are planning on visiting Iran this summer - one word of advice: The dudes
here are WAY more "porrooo" than the poor Iranian guys abroad - so be careful.

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