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Now they are proposing to reform the United Nations. How about throwing out most of its members?

December 2, 2004
iranian.com

Democracy is great, except when millions and millions of Americans go vote for George W. Bush. Then they're plain stupid, or as one keeps hearing, "you must realize" that the educated people live in Manhattan and San Francisco, and in between are farmers in open grasslands, with dazed expressions, chain saws and a "Dubya" vote they keep dropping into the ballot boxes.

Those farmers may look stupid, but they retained enough of their wits to vote for Bush in spite of the very personal and vindictive campaign of character assassination organized by that film man and most European dailies and television channels (who know better of course: they know that when dictatorships declare they are not bothering anyone, just minding their own - very hi-tech - business, building steel tubes ["it's-for-da-orfanaj-in-turd-world-Palestine-sisters, now shut da door or the fumes will come out," deputy minister "Freak" Abu Batman tells the pU.N.y inspectors], well, they must be telling the truth.)

Now they are proposing to reform the United Nations. How about throwing out most of its members, and not paying another dime in "aid" to the kleptocratic scoundrels that parade as presidents and premiers in that body. "Non-aligned" my butt: howzabout aligning their black butts for a good thrashing?

I suggest our Third World colleagues, especially the ones south of the Aswan dam, climb down from trees and get back to their desks to view a couple of human rights reports and economic statistics about their countries - a sobering read, I dare say. I'm reminded now of the late Denis Thatcher's reported advice to his wife Margaret before a trip to Zimbabwe to meet with President Robert Mugabe, "don't give the bugger a penny, Margaret." Marvellous, obviously he had a way with words.

Kofi Annan believes they should enlarge the Security Council. I know what I would do with my permanent seat and voting right: veto every word uttered by the Russian and Chinese ambassadors ("I would rike to say.." - SHUT UP - "But dis is against plocejars.." - SHUT UP - "du shvein hundt kepitalist entity.." SHUT UP etc..). What a ball we'd all have on the Security Council, so much so that we might come to call it the Fun Council.

The United Nations, if it really wants to help, should rent out space in its headquarters to Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks, to earn some of its keep. It's disgraceful how taxpayers pay for a bunch of lazy men from Gujarat to lunch out at Cipriani's, then return to doze and stare at their secretaries' buttocks. The European Union is worse of course, with its assortment of agencies and veritable Wehrmacht of employees. That body of 25 states recently persuaded the Castro regime to free six of 75 dissidents sent to jail last year for talking: it is a veritable human rights blitzkrieg!

A dear lady here in Barcelona keeps telling me, "I supported the Iraq invasion." But "I was disgusted by what happened later." She didn't mean Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and his gangsta-rappers decapitating people, blowing up nurses, doctors, or schoolchildren. She meant the Abu Ghraib prison abuses. "They're only there for the oil," she also stated, as if the disjointed claims somehow corroborate one another. Are you sure? I asked. She was not. How exactly are the Americans going to control the oil, can someone tell me?

A Swedish girl said about Abu Ghraib, "When I saw those pictures, I was disgusted." Had she seen pictures of "abuses" in Iraq under Saddam Hussein, or in Syria, and doubtless in Russia and China, I asked? She had not, and found me smug and annoying. Still, I say, while one must respect the right of people to have opinions, one is not obliged to respect every silly opinion.

People keep saying the Americans have caused an enormous mess in Iraq. What utter rubbish - utter, utter rubbish. Are the Americans ramming buses laden with explosives into police stations and schools? Those who wish to live in a peaceful, lawful Iraq, like Kurds, the middle classes, or women, are waiting for the shooting to stop so they can get on with their lives. They must hate the terrorists.

As for the United Nations, it had no intention of changing what had to be changed. Hans Blix was a weapons inspector, yes, but on the wrong assignment. Imagine sending the plumber to the CEO's office to follow up rumours that he may have fiddled company accounts ("You've heard the rumours sir, I'm going to have to check your plumbing!")

Yes those pictures were shocking. I wonder if there are pictures of the report I read on this site, of the teenager being beaten to death with a cable for eating during Ramadan or whatever. That would be something to show to the European Union, or the UN human rights body or wherever the Francophile Marxist charlatans are hanging out. They may be shocked, should they care to take a look during a break from their five-hour Sauerkraut-and-Pommery lunch. Still, on a happier note: Condi's going to be Secretary of State.

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