Iranian of the Day

All old wife stories, to get more action every night of the week

700 year old real Islamic joke from Obeid Zakani:

Woman comes home on Friday night and tells his husband: "today in the mosque, the mullah said that whoever tries to have a baby tonight, will earn a palace in paradise". The man gets on the job.

An hour later, the woman in heat says: "can you now build a palace for me too?" The guy gives it his best shot.

Later that night, the woman starts to tinker with the guy again, but this time the chap who like Obeid was from Ghazvin, takes the back road. The woman cries: "what the hell are you doing?"  The man replies: "honey we now have two palaces in paradise, just to be on the safe side, I am building a small house in hell too!"

Those who can't play, Coach!

She is so ugly, that during the Grreen protests in Tehran, she looked out her window to see what was goign on, and was arrested for Mooning.

This woman is so ugly, her body is covered with round redmarks, where people keep touching her with 10 foot poles.

They had to hide the coffee cup of water behind the flowers on the table so she could sneak up on it to take a sip.

When she tried to join an ugly contest they told her, "No professionals please."

Her husband takes her to work with him everyday, just so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

She is so ugly, they press her face into the dough to make cookies.

fati comando

Iran is full of OLAGHS and Gaavs like this ! 

What Iran needs liquidation of these animals !

شبه جمعه دو چیزیادت نره

She desparately needs a man!

Wham...Bam...Thank you M'am!

She is a classical case of the Coyote Arm!

"You wake up in the morning and almost willing to chew off your own arm to prevent waking up the ugly mess that you fell asleep next to, lying on your arm."

I don't know about you...

Talking so much about sex, i was wondering while she holds the chador with her right hand...what is she doing with the left???

Ex-Dallaak

When I was a kid, my grandma knew a lady who visited her number of times annually. She was "religiously superstitious" and full of prehistoric wisdom. My grandma was also religious. The lady's divine wisdom was so rich to us, that for years we kept it as a source, to laugh our heads off. Btw, by us I mean me and my "religious" grandma!

Now look; that Sakineh Khanoom( the ex-dallaak) is oozing her wisdom on the national tv, to a 70 million audience. Slag!

That's how low our culture and country has sunk into. We deserve it.

Working against her cause

I don't know if this woman understands that by propagating these types of nonsense, how much she is alienating rational people from religion.

I believe this woman also blogs on Iranian.com.

Her eyes look familiar :)

on wednesdays, one

on wednesdays, one participates in activities that are not considered sex, according to the defintion of bill clinton.  overall, i liked it.  she is a very good speaker and i loved the way she was holding on to her veil during the whole show.

It's funny

In a way it's kind of funny. If these kind of "guv" can run the country (well to the ground!) there is hope for every one! future is bright.

Prop 69

We should put this on the ballot in california and see if it will get an "activist judge" involved. Heck, Might as well do the same in Alabama, Georgia and Mississippi:)) Call it Prop 69.

What a load of crap!

  Now every Muslim man should hang a calendar (maybe to his ...). or may be condoms are ok for Wednesdays in Islam? enlighten us please 

Thanks Shifteh

for enlightening us with more of her vast knowledge about baby making business and corrections for misfires.

Dear Ali P,

I heard the preferred position is one in Sojoud and one in Rokou. The closest that you get to it is dogy style.

Thank youuuu...Ms. Ansari :-)

Will follow her schedule, as instructed, and will fix, if we mess up.

Now,... what do you have with her, talking about permissible sexual positions? What's the Islamic recommanded position?

And here she explains how to fix it if you mess up...

آبِ کُرِ ملکوت
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC7CSF8QQ1c

TV for Arabnecks (iranian rednecks)!

So she means that splitting the day into 24 hours was the work of the westerners? Hmm.. I would guess that all the sun hours in different parts of the world would say other. Also if according to this very legimite "sources" a farmer was happy to look at the sun, should we throw away watches and look at the sun from now on?

How would that work in a country far from equator where day and night length differ much between summers and winters? What would sun tell you then? Should I still lie in bed and sleep since sun is not out although light hours are much less in winter? Maybe it is true? But then again does she lives as she tells? Did she came to TV studio according to how sun was placed in the sky?

How should I fast in middle of summer when day is almost 20 hours long almost according to the sun?

pAstor rennik

Wednesdays are HavaKhoree Nights:))) Take the Mrs, Out for a night on town. go wild and get crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Get energized.

methodology/questions

What techniques do we use in order to wash ourselves? What are the accepted methologies? Are they FDA approved? Does Iran have an equivalent Org. to FDA?

If we are to use the latest and greatest devices (digital aftabe) do we get reimbursed for it? And most important of all. at what angel do we hold it?

I have a feeling many men get discouraged trying to meet all the criteria here. Daamn!

Damit. I want answersssss.

From now on...

I'm ganna have sex every day of the week just to piss her off.

Fish jaan! All we need is 15 minutes...

(12 minutes of which will be to wash up)

Can they not spare that ;-)  ?

Exploitive!

Ali P.

Muslems must wash up properly after sex (ghosl-e jenaabat), before they are allowed to pray again. The longest time between two prayers is between the night-time (Isha) and the morning (Fajr) prayers. Pragmatically speaking, there is more time to do things and wash up before the next prayer at night. Of course this is just a hunch.

Muslim nooners just have to provide for the extra ghosl time, that's all. Khanom Monshizadeh here doesn't look like she needs to worry about her ghosl-e jenaabat more than once a week, if that.
(Ayatollah) Fish Here

She is a gift from the past

She is a gift from the past and present estebdad.  Univeristies, tall buildings, bridges can not fight Jahalat, but democracy can.

Babak K.

Cry the beloved country...

Mehrban said it best.

Can you imagine studying this crap, just to pass the entrance exam to get into a university?

And why does it always have to be at night??

Is there anything in Islam that forbids nooners?

Anyone?

Iranians Deserve this!

They want this. They would vote for the Islamic Republic again and again. This beatiful land is filled with the ignoramus all over the country.

Where are Sargord and other IRI defenders?

0
false


18 pt
18 pt
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false
false
false

Where are they when you need them? I'd like to know if they
follow the holy and scientifically proven directions from Lady Monshizadeh.
Sargord? Sargord? Where are you? We need you to explain some of these even
further and in more details.

By the way, according to very reliable sources, Einstein was
conceived on, yes, you guessed right, Thursday night. Knowing this, Stephen
Hawkins' parents only did the act on Thursdays. Unfortunately for him, he was
made only minutes after the morning Azaan, so he got the brain but was also
punished for being late. In fact, the sources say that the parents did
everything right but did not realize that by the time he was made, although
still pre-Azaan in their homeland, it was minutes past it in Ghom. Stupid
parents, obviously not conceived on a Thursday night.  

Ok  ... now that is Funny

Ok ... now that is Funny ......... but i do not know why i just want to cry ....

How can we get rid of this kind of ignorance? These are the ones who have kidnapped Islam and have kidnapped God .... no wonder why people are so anti any religion especially Islam? If the people like her are the source then you have to read Fatehe for that religion .......

Thanks God that he has given us a brain to use ........ and that is if we use it !

Strange thing that I see

Behind her is the picture of the moon, every time her shadow moves, I see the face of imam Khomeini in the moon. keep watching. So bizarre.

" I have it from

a divine authority that this year the Seyeddeh would like to do her obligatory religious duty to please the holy messenger on the 27th of Rajab but Hagy Agha's means is no longer in good order (due to advanced diabetes) despite a multitude of nights praying for godly remedy without effect. With even the more earthy pharmaceutical interventions proving unsuccessful- I reluctantly and only as my sacred duty  have to step in on this joyous of nights this year" said Hazrate Shotor.

Sister Monshizadeh on another video reveals details on

how to maximize the effect on each night's personality of the baby!

On Monday night, the couple should face the Ghebleh (Mecca) with the legs up in the air for the baby to be of strong character and a man of god!

On Thursday night, the man should wrap a miniaturized replica of IED/strapped explosives around the shaft when he enters to guarantee the true characteristics of a shahid or martyr in the baby!

Wednesday night was skipped!

On Thursday night, the man should pencil various mathematical, chemistry, physics, and engineering equations, formulas, and diagrams around his and her alat'e tannasoli (goodies) to make sure the baby will turn out a scientist. I will have to ask my mom and dad if that's what they did before they conceived me!

On Friday night, the man should drink a couple of bottles of Russian vodka to make sure he can't find the way and maybe by the laws of  small numbers he ends up the wrong place and as a result the baby turns out to be a bacheh akhoond!

On Sunday night, the man should change place with his donkey!

These instructions come from Ayatollah Khomeini's  book of "How to Make Baby!"