Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

Abarmard
by Abarmard
21-Jul-2008
 

I can't stop laughing reading some of these. I thought to share them with you. My favorite is 23. Enjoy:

 

 

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name .
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

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more from Abarmard
 
Party Girl

Thanks for the break!

by Party Girl on

Very funny indeed!  Loved them all.  What a refreshing break from the gloom and doom of our daily encounters on the site!  It's good to give ourselves a break from solving the problems of the world, and let Larry solve them for us for a bit!  Thanks!


Majid

May I add some?

by Majid on

They're not from him, but in the same line.......

War does not determine who's right, war determines who's left.

Man who runs in front of a car gets tired, man who runs behind a car gets exhausted.

Panties are not the best thing in the world, next to it.

It takes hundreds of nails to build a cradle, one screw to fill it.

Man who spends the day in the cat house spends the night in the dog house.

Stupid man gives wife grand piano, wise man gives wife upright organ.

 


ebi amirhosseini

lovely ....hahahah

by ebi amirhosseini on

Sepaas Abarmard Jaan !!

Love all of " the blue collar" guyes.Met two of them in person( larry & Jeff),very humble guyes.

this is for you:


IRANdokht

LOL

by IRANdokht on

They're all good!

Thanks for the chuckle

IRANdokht


Majid

They ALL are my favorites....LOL

by Majid on

Because of his "red neck" accent , some people don't like him, but between 4 of them "blue collar team", he makes the most sensible points.

And I would like to add one here from him:

Guns don't kill people, husbands who come early do!

Thanks Abarmard. 


javaneh29

Thanx for making me smile

by javaneh29 on

I liked no 8 the best!

btw .. who is Larry the cable guy?

Javaneh