Anahid Hojjati

Dear yolanda, for some people, the featured version

might be exactly what happened to them. For me, it was with language and poetry. For another person, it may be about rekindling an old love. If someone wants to take the poem as rekindling love of some guy, they are free to do. It just was not like that for me. I think the version with "Alef" is good since it is more clear that it is talking about Persian language but I suspect that it is a bit on the nerd side :)). Thanks for reading both versions and leting me know how you think about them.

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Hi Anahid,

   Both versions are good........the phrases "second chance for love" "waiting for another chance"  "When we met again" really sound like something to do with romance....:O)

   Persian poetry is cool! Obama keeps quoting Iranian poems........in his 1st Nowruz speech, he quotes Saadi, 2nd speech Simin.........it is great!

P.S. Thai food is great! I agree with you!

Thanks yolanda for your comment and here is original version

Thanks yolanda for reading my poem and commenting. Originally, when I blogged the poem, it was as follows. I have it since I e-mail my blogs to myself. Here it is:

by Anahid Hojjati
23-Mar-2011

When I met you

the world just opened

Sun was night brighter

All I had to do

Was to be faithful to you

In return

you promised moonlight

 and stars

And you delivered

Always there for me

You saw me into a woman

Then you sent me away

So one day I could return

Never once complained

 I almost forgot you

But waiting for another chance,

there you were 

When we met again

I was hesitant

you reminded me

That you had me at “Alef”

This time, I am awkward

in second chance for love

But no denial

Love it still is

You always had me at “Alef”

Then both because Admin was busy or did not like it or for whatever reason, the poem was not yet featured for a while. I also thought that 

You always had me at “Alef” 

was not poetic, so I made some changes in it, although if you compare the two versions, there are not extensive changes. Hence I came up with the version which became the the featured version. It looks like most people thought that it was about rekindling an old flame. However, this was partly my goal; not to misguide people, but since a poem has to appeal to different people. How many people can really warm up to:

You always had me at “Alef” 

I think not that many :))).

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Hi Anahid,

   The background information really helped me understand your poem! Initially I thought your poem is about rekindling the old flame.........after reading your post, I realized that it is about Persian language.......very interesting! Everything makes sense now!

Thank you for your English poem!

Thanks Ari jan for your input

I will look into what American poetry sites would be good sites for me to submit my English poetry. As of now, I am not that familiar with them, but I will look into it. Thanks for your helpful input, and Happy NoRooz.

Anahid

Some information about this poem and its meaning

This poem started with the line : You had me at "alef". This is really about my love for Persian language and how when I learned it, then in my imagination, I could see brighter sun, moonlight and stars. When I talk about being away for some time from my love, I am referring to years that I was not writing Persian poetry. Note when I talk about meeting again and how this time, it is awkward. Reason is because of me forgetting part of what I knew before. But then I add that I still love it and moonlight and stars, which means that I still can see moonlight and stars when I write Persian poetry which makes one "parandeye khial ra parvaz dahad".

After thinking about it, I made the poem like this so it is romantic for those who like it this way. Also, you had me at "Alef" is not such a poetic line. That is why I mentioned to Souri in one of my comments about her input which was helpful. Even if my poem is about my love of Persian language, I don't have to spell it out. A bit of mystery can go a long way in any Poetry.Or not even suspense but then not spelling out everything.

 So there you have,some background about how this poem was started and how it changed. The actual lines have not changed that much except now there is no more:"You had me at Alef",

Dear Radius, you are welcome

Dear Radius,  I need to read up more Rosetta Stone. It looks like you have provided a link so I will try it. Also, Thanks for asking for translation, otherwise I would not have done, But it is good to do this kind of translation once in a while. It is more difficult for me to translate my Farsi poems to English. English to Farsi is not as difficult. Also thanks for what you wrote at the end of your comment regarding what the poem accomplishes about the relationship between two people.

The first English - Persian - Finglish Rosetta Stone

Dear Anahid,

Thank you so much for your Translation. I now can imagine how your poem sounds in Persian. I will ask an iranian colleague of mine, Omid, to recite it for me today.

By the way, the three versions of your poem are like a rosetta-stone for me. I could try to discover the secrets of Persian Language with its help, the same way as the original Rosetta-Stone provided the key for Jean Champollion to decipher the ancient egyptian hieroglyphs. But whereas the egyptian rosetta-stone only contains a very literal text with descriptions of some legal procedures, your poem breathes this tantalizing spirit of a long lasting relation between two people.

Thank you once again.

Thanks Soosan Khanoom

I am glad you liked it. thanks for your encouraging words.

nice ......

both the English and the translation

Thanks for sharing it with us Anahid jan  

Farsi translation of this poem, dear Radius

Radius jan, here is Farsi translation:

وقتی ترا دیدم

آغاز شد هزار و یکشبم

خورشید تابانتر گشت

با من پیمان بستی

گفتی خواهی آورد

مهتاب و ستاره‌ها

تنها باید

به تو عشق میورزیدم

پذیرفتم
 

راهی دگر نبود

آنگاه در روز و شب دیدم

مهتاب و ستاره‌ها

همیشه در کنارم بودی

دیدی من زن شدم

سپس مرا به دورها فرستادی

تا روزی من برگردم

هرگز نبود شکایتی از تو

تقریباً فراموشت کردم

همچنین از یاد بردم

مهتاب و ستاره‌ها

وقتی ترا دوباره من دیدم

مردّد بودم

تا یادم آوردی

مهتاب و ستاره‌ها

این بار سخت است

دوباره عشق ورزم

اما انکار نتوانم کرد

هنوز این عشق است

مهتاب و ستاره‌ها

and in Latin characters, it is:

vaghtee tora deedam

aghaz shod hezar o yekshabam

khoorsheed taabaantar gasht

Baa man paymaan baasti

Goftee khahee avard

Mahtab va setareha

Tanha bayad be to eshgh meevarzeedam

Pazeeroftam

Rahee degar nabood

Angah dar rooz va shab deedam

Mahtaab va setareha

Hameesheh dar kenaram boodi

Deedee man zan shodam

sepas mara be doorha ferestaadee

Ta roozi man bargardam

hargez nabood shekaayatee az to

Taghreeban faramooshat kardam

hamcheneen az yad bordam

Mahtab o setareha

vaghtee tora doobareh man deedam

moradad boodam

ta yadam avardee

mahtaab va setareha

eenbaar sakht ast

doobareh eshgh varzam

ama enkar natvanam kard

hanooz een eshgh ast

mahtaab va setareha

Dear Radius, thanks for your comment

I am glad that you liked the poem and think that it will be good later on also. I will do your request even though I am not so good at translation. If I understand correctly, you want it in both Finglish and proper Farsi. It will be later tonight since as of now, I have brought my car to the shop and then I have to run errands. If I see that I am doing a bad job, I might have to ask Esfand Ashena for help. He once helped me greatly to translate a Farsi poem of mine to English. Thanks for reading my poem and commenting.

Beautiful poem,

Dear Anahid,   Thank you for sharing this nice poem. One can feel some eternal value in it. People who will read it a hundred years from now might still consider it very modern. 

I have a modest request for you:  Could you provide here a simple translation into persian (so-called interlinear translation), ideally in both latin characters as well as in proper persian ?  I"d like to get a feeling how the poem sounds in your language. 

Thanks Souri jan,

Souri jan, Keep reading my blogs if you have time and let me know what you think.

Anahid jon

You humbled me dear.

I appreciate your honesty. This is a sign of self confidence and assurance. Best luck!

Souri jan, thanks for commenting and you will be glad

to know that if this one is more powerful for you, you had a hand in it. I thought about your input about my poetry and I have tried to improve it. Hopefully, the improvement will be in my Farsi poetry too. It will take time and practice, but your comments were helpful. Thanks for your input.

Very beautiful!

Dear Anahid,

It seems that I have a better success to like your poems in English ;-)

This one was truly powerful, very nice.

Thanks for sharing this with us.