I’m not feeling well. Some kind of a cold. Have been sitting at home all day. I can’t go for my daily run, and my sinuses feels like they’re going to explode any minute. So, to relieve some tension, I figured I write a blog and pick on some of my favorite punching bags: the America residing, yet America hating Iranian douche bags. You know the type, the Chomsky loving (after all, he is one of the “good” Jews), “imperialist” (whatever that means in the 21st century) hating, yet imperialist benefiting, chelo kabab eating, blog writing, manufactured outrage specialists who live among us.
Did I say imperialist benefiting? That’s a good one, if I may say so myself. It’s actually the point of this blog. So, listen up losers: you are America. However you “arbadeh” that you hate imperialists and wars and military action, you are a part of the whole thing. You fund every bomb that is dropped in Afghanistan, Iraq and elsewhere. Every time you go to your favorite shamshiri restaurant to stuff your fat faces with chelo kabob, every time you buy a car (assuming that you do not ride olaghs to work), every time you put gas in your car to drive to your jobs at the local university—or the car dealership as the case may be—every time you have taxes taken out of your paycheck, every time you write a check for your internet service to write this nonsense online, every time…well, even you have the requisite amount of intelligence to figure out the rest…you are contributing to the 21st century empire that is the United States of America. So, what do you have to say about that? Feel bad? No? Are you going to come up with some weird “safsateh,” (or may be a poem) telling us how YOU are not a part of this economy and this system? It ain’t gonna work. It is what it is. YOU are a contributing part of the system. But, no worries. There’s good news. There are actually two distinct steps that you can take to remedy this situation: Here they are:
The first option (and the less effective one) is to purchase a black sharpie from your local Staples. Now, come April 15, 2012, grab the sharpie and write, in large letters, on your IRS 1040 form this sentence: “I am an all knowing Iranian. I love Noam Chmosky and I hate imperialists. Therefore, I refuse to pay taxes so that I do not contribute to various wars around the world. Merci, as we say in Iran. By the way, have you been to Iran? It’s great. They have two meter long chelo kababs and cheap opium. I go there every summer. And the mullahs are very reasonable. Don’t listen to Zionist propaganda by the Jew controlled media. No sanctions please.” OK, a bit long, you may try to write in small letters. But anyway, carefully fold that form, address it to the Internal Revenue Service and then tell us how that works out for you (free advice: lawyer up. See you in Ft. Leavenworth).
The second, and more practical option is, of course, for you to pack up your “jol va palas” and your “kaseh koozeh,” purchase yourselves a one way ticket on Iran Air that you brag about being safe and head on down to the freedom fighting, Zionist slaying, Imperialist punching-in-the-mouth (is that even an expression?) non nuke-loving Islamic Republic of Iran, where you don’t have to see fat Americans (and possibly Jews—OMG!!) around you all the time. Easy enough, no? So, why haven’t you done it already? Why are you on Iranian.com lamenting America’s misdeeds? Why, bothers and sisters, why?
***The blog photo has no relation whatsoever to the blog’s content. I just felt like sharing my favorite Degas painting with everyone.
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AO
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:31 AM PDTWe want our piece of flesh from the U.S. and we won't settle for anything less. Why? Because Kermit Roosevelt wrote a bullshit memo 60 years ago to impress his bosses,
Well I don't want a piece of flesh from USA. But Kermit did a lot more than write a memo. Believe me I know he did a lot of damage. Not the least being the creation of the mentality you talk about. Kermit should have been horsewhipped and kicked out of the service. It was that stupid coup which created MEK; JM and all the other malcontents who brought about Khomeini.
Interesting discussion on BBC Persian about the subject
by Anonymous Observer on Thu Sep 08, 2011 09:20 AM PDTimmigrant identity:
//newsforums.bbc.co.uk/ws/fa/thread.jspa?forumID=14482
It's the cultural clusterfuck that we are in, really
by Anonymous Observer on Thu Sep 08, 2011 09:02 AM PDTWe want our piece of flesh from the U.S. and we won't settle for anything less. Why? Because Kermit Roosevelt wrote a bullshit memo 60 years ago to impress his bosses, and we bought it lock, stock and barrel. The 1953 coup, the 1953 coup, Mossadegh, blah, blah, blah...The 1979 devolution wasn't enough. Nor was the hostage taking, nor was the bombing of the marine barracks in Beirut, nor was the...well, you get the picture. As my friend Fesenjoon once wrote on this site, the cancer ridden Hiroshima nuclear bomb survivor doesn't hold as big a grudge against the U.S. as us narcissist, self-cosumed Iranians.
You know, I often look at the old footage of the Italian immigrants arriving on ships into Ellis Island, smiling and waiving American flags--despite knowing that they will be treated as second class citizens once they set foot on shore---and think to myself: if these were Iranians coming over, they would probably be waiving the Islamic Republic flag and consider their mass arrival into the United States as some sort of a triumphant invasion of the Great Satan.
And let's face it, 32 years of massive, well funded IR propaganda has got to have affected the psychology of the Iranian masses. No way around it.
Alrigh
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Thu Sep 08, 2011 04:38 AM PDTI do know of MediCal and Food Stamps and other programs. They are very minimal support programs. Not my idea of great living. No one I know would rely on them if they did not have to.
This IR moftkhor hypocrisy has a history
by Reality-Bites on Thu Sep 08, 2011 01:04 PM PDTOne of the ex-hostages from the time of the 1979/80 US embassy hostage taking by the Students of "Khateh Emam, was recalling a conversation between himself one the students who had taken him, and his embassy colleagues, hostage.
During the conversation the student repeatedly expressed his wish to one day move to America and study there. The student then turned around to the hostage and asked (I'm paraphrasing here): "do you think you can help me find and enrol in an American college, after we let you guys go back to America?" The shocked ex-hostage said: "I replied, err, of course, while thinking, yeah, dream on".
You know, it wouldn't surprise me if that student hostage taker actually did end up in the US, at the same time continuing to support his Emam and the regime he forced on Iran, while enjoying life in the good 'ol US of A that he and his ilk supposedly despise so much.
If nothing else, the guy would've been the gold medallist if we had a hypocrites olympics.
I know of one personally too, Too Many Rich Iranians are Crooks
by amirparvizforsecularmonarchy on Wed Sep 07, 2011 07:56 PM PDTMy moms friend for example, owned and ran a restaurant in UK, she doesn't show she has any money, and the rest I leave up to your imagination, she loves California. Food stamp and medical thief.
Thing is America has the worst social safety net program in the world of any developed country, I could never live there for that reason, more than what the usa did to my country and continues to do to iran.
Despite the fraud, and it makes me sick that rich iranians abuse it, I hope the USA creates more social programs, not less, specifically to eradicate elderly poverty, the largest in the developed world as a percentage. People I feel need a living wage guarantee, when they can no longer work, most of it should not be entitlement, but earned over life, but the rest made up by true entitlements.
Vpk
by Bahram G on Wed Sep 07, 2011 07:09 PM PDTI really don't know where you live. It doesn't matter. If you live anywhere in the US, and I can tell that you are both literate and smart, you must have heard of Medical. It is a huge program that pays for the low income and no income people' health care. It is a joint pprogram betwwn the state and the federal government. You must also have heard of food stamp program, right? And housing sbsidieis? No, friend, these programs exist. They are so depleted that they are on life support, so to speak. No, they are not myths drummed up by Reagan and they are not the phony hypes of the right wing. I, for one, am 100 percent in support of the society's obligation to take care of it's needy. No one who can claim to be human can possibly let the poor suffer more than they already do. But, I stand with what I said. There are people who shamelessly exploit these absolutely important safety net programs when they have their own means of paying their own way. And some of these folks, I am ashamed to admit, are my compatriots.
Regards,
Bahram g
Bahram - you are absolutely correct
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Sep 07, 2011 07:22 PM PDTI will give you an example. A relative of mine (unfortunately) who is is his 70's got a green card through his US citizen daughter. Now, this guy has a huge house in one of the best neighborhoods in Iran. He is retired, gets his regular pension and lives with his wife in that house. He has no one else to support. He also has plenty of savings and owns other real estate. He also gets free medical care in Iran through his retirement.
But as soon as he arrived in the U.S., his daughter took him to the county's weelfare office, and filled out a form saying that he has no money and is destitude. And of course, he has no assets in the U.S. So, they gave the guy medicaid and emergency food stamps--that's right, food stamps! He had a complete medical check up and after a few months went back home. He goes back and forth to Iran. I have seen many other examples like this. But this was the closest one to me personally. Believe it or not, I cut all ties with this family member out of sheer embarrassment.
Just look around and see how many elderly Iranians who are quite wealthy in Iran collect SSI and other forms of government assistance in the U.S.
Bahram
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Wed Sep 07, 2011 05:58 PM PDTWho are you talking about please? Where I live there is no free anything. You want medical care: you pay! Want food: you pay! What dole? This is not Europe it is American; you don't have money; you are out!
Honestly this myth of people living off the dole was invented by Reagan. Welfare Queens and people getting free this and that. Now is perpetuated by right wing talk show host on Radio and on Fox. I don't see any real evidence of it.
Here is a moftkhor
by Bahram G on Wed Sep 07, 2011 05:20 PM PDTIranians ke ham az akhor mikhoran va ham as tobreh. They are the unscrupulous people who have come to the US,have gotten their green card or have become naturalized citizens and hopped on the dole wagon for basically free medical care, food stamps, housing allowance and what not. They hold no jobs and steady customers of every cholo kababi near and far. They also frequently visit Iran to see their relatives and collect their government pensions and the substantial rents from their properties, return to the land of the Great Satan and curse it for being the evil that it is to them. You say, come on, there are no such people and you are making this up. Well, Mr. Skeptic, why don't you come to California for your next vacation and nose around in some of their favorit cholo kababis. Believe me, some of them not only admit their moftkhori, they are proud of it. Ax khers mooei, they say. And those of you who work for a living and pay your taxes are the khers.Bahram g
By the way, VPK
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Sep 07, 2011 03:22 PM PDTI don't think you're an America hater. I dislike Carter for the same reasons that you do: adandoning the Shah. So, I don't think that this blog applies to you either. You take things too seriously. :-)
VPK - It was the combination of NyQuil and Kafka
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Sep 07, 2011 02:46 PM PDTthat made me do it! That's why the blog is so incomprehensible. You ought to try it. It's quite a trip. :-)
I am still
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Wed Sep 07, 2011 02:22 PM PDTnot sure what a moftkhor is? Someone without a job or someone who has a job; pays taxes but hates America? For instance here is a hypothetical person:
An Iranian who was a pro-Shah Iranian. Then moved to the USA after the revolution. Was very pro American at the time. Became an American citizen; got married now has a job and kids. Then in time realized that Jimmy Carter was the person who undermined Shah. And that Reagan made a deal with the Mullahs. The person now blames USA in their mind for the downfall of the Shah. So they hate IRI and see USA as promoting the IRI. Are they a "moftkhor" in your book? Is it that black and white?
AO: I don't get the point of your blog and am proud not to. Because to me it does not make sense. It smells of censorship; intolerance and oppression. I don't like it and never will.
Tabarzin
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:46 AM PDTI'm still a liberal, although not a radical one. Have always voted Democrat, inluding the last elections--voted for Obama. Plan on voting for him again in 2012. I have also worked for various democratic campaigns (as a volunteer). Hell, I was a Democrat when all the Iranians who I knew where staunch Republicans--because they believed, at the time, that the Democrats were to beholden to the Jews! Sounds familiar? :-)
I am also an academic lecture junkie. If there's a lecture somewhere near me, I am on it. Most of them are free anyway! I have been to probably over a hundred (perhaps more) by various people. I even went to see Dan Quayle. Now, that's a treat. There are really no words to describe how dumb that guy is. I think that my IQ dropped a couple of points in the short while that I was there listening to his drivel.
TS9 - you seem to get it too
by Anonymous Observer on Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:39 AM PDTthe subject of the blog, that is.
...
by Truthseeker9 on Wed Sep 07, 2011 06:56 AM PDTYou are misquoting people again - I did not say I have cut my relation to Iran. It would help if you read peoples posts before you jump the gun and use inappropriate line of questioning . What does my taking part in a forum have to do with anyone?
Truthseeker9
by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on Wed Sep 07, 2011 05:53 AM PDTI absolutely believe you and that you have not looked back. But why do you post in IC? If you have cut your relation to Iran then what are you doing here?
RB and friends
by Truthseeker9 on Wed Sep 07, 2011 05:18 AM PDTTotally agree with the blog and RB's interpretation and spelling out. Personally I have never looked back after leaving Iran and thank my lucky stars my father decided to leave when he did. All I miss are the people (loved ones) left behind. All this blame culture is so ingrained in some Iranians as an escape strategy. USA was made of immigrants who went there for opportunities and made it a great place. But now many immigrants who go there have the attitude of "what's in it for me?". Moftkhors indeed.
I think I hit a nerve.
by MeyBokhor_Manbarbesuzan on Wed Sep 07, 2011 05:07 AM PDTI did, I did, I did hit a nerve there.
America is also
by Reality-Bites on Wed Sep 07, 2011 04:44 AM PDTNice to IR supporting moftkhors who have taken up residence there.
America is always
by MeyBokhor_Manbarbesuzan on Wed Sep 07, 2011 02:38 AM PDTAmerica is always nice to its Uncle Toms
APFSM, I agree with you but
by Maryam Hojjat on Wed Sep 07, 2011 01:34 AM PDTI need to clarify myself. Of course, We all have right to critisize US Government but The americans themselves are people like us who have their problem with their government. Us has been good host to us iranians whether IRR caused us to flee our country. We must be grateful for equal opportunities we have here.
AO
by Tabarzin on Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:27 PM PDT;-)
There is an age old saying: behind every conservative matured, lies a disappointed radical of youth.
A riposte to Mammad's first point
by Reality-Bites on Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:32 PM PDTHe states:
!- Whether we like it or not, or whether we intended it or not, the fact is we are all citizens of the U.S.
Correction: you CHOSE to become a citizen of the US. So you DID intend to live there. There is no "whether" about it. And there is a big difference between you flying on a 747 to get there and those who were born there (regardless of how their ancestors arrived) and thus did not choose to actively and intentionally MOVE to that country. If you cannot understand the difference, well I really can't put it any simpler than that.
If you despise American Empire so much, you can always move out of it. The World is a big place. But you won't, because you like living there. Why else have you chosen to stay there all this time?
I did not like life in Iran under the rule of the Islamic Republic and that is why I moved out, because I was fortunate enough to be able to do that. And though the country I have chosen to reside in is far from perfect, I'm grateful to it for allowing me to make a life here and I don't hypocritically bash and blame it all the time, while enjoying the life it has offered me.
A confession before I go to bed
by Anonymous Observer on Tue Sep 06, 2011 07:46 PM PDTI have an autographed copy of a Chomsky book, (Hegemony or Survival). He signed it for me at a lecture of his that I attended. :-)
Pretty interesting guy. I've been to two of his lectures actually, and won't hesitate in going to another one if time and distance allow.
I disaagree with a lot of what he says, but he's nonetheless very smart and interesting, and fun to listen to.
My name is Borat
by Anonymous Observer on Tue Sep 06, 2011 07:29 PM PDTThanks for the applause. FYI, I go postal when I have the flu. :-)
Mammad
by Anonymous Observer on Tue Sep 06, 2011 07:21 PM PDTI do not have a problem whatsoever with criticizing any government, including the U.S. government for their errors and misdeeds. No argument there at all, and my comment is not directed at legitimate dissent. My comment is, however, directed at the arrogant, hypocrite and narcissist Iranians who have CHOSEN to live in a country that they obviously despise and blame for everything. Those are the targets of this blog, not people like you.
BTW, I was singing your praises with an acquaintance of yours the other day. I said that I disagree with you most of the times, but that you articulate your points well and are respectful to others.
Good to see you on my blog.
Speak for yourself please Amirparvizwhatever...
by Anonymous Observer on Tue Sep 06, 2011 07:06 PM PDTAs RG said, I don't hate the U.S. The U.S. has many problems, but I do not hate it, and I don't blame it for everything under the sun. I can't really improve on what RG said on the subject. So, there...
"we all hate the IRI and the USA"
by Roozbeh_Gilani on Tue Sep 06, 2011 05:18 PM PDTSpeak for yourself, please.
"we", based on the vast majority of comments on this site only hate the first part, the IRI. "We", seem to be mostly living in USA by choice, so can not by definition hate it, which is precisely the subject of this blog, if you ever care to read and understand it....
"I" for one dont hate anything or anyone. I do have lots of contempt though for the islamist regime and all it's supporters and apologists....
"Personal business must yield to collective interest."
well said rahmanian
by amirparvizforsecularmonarchy on Tue Sep 06, 2011 05:08 PM PDTwe all hate the IRI and the USA for bringing them to power.
Our concern is the USA involving nato to liberate iran from IRI , in the name of democracy and in the process bring their own cronies, who they can then use to help break iran into several democratic republics.
what to do?????
For a United Iran