Ari Siletz

Dear Anahid

Thanks for your kind comment. I found it very generous and very modest at the same time.

...

Ari jan,,thanks for your posting of M.Sreshk's poems. You have some imagination dude, kudos. The imagery of victim's tears dropped in her aggressors eyes is very strong. Can't get it out of my mind, if not a poem, there's definitely a science fiction short story there!

Vildemose: my pleasure.

MG: Thank you for that

MG: Thank you for that enlightening essay on theodore Adorno.

At Mash Ghasem's request

سفر به خیر
به کجا چنین شتابان؟
گون از نسیم پرسید
دل من گرفته زینجا
هوس سفر نداری
ز غبار این بیابان؟
همه آرزویم اما
چه کنم که بسته پایم
به کجا چنین شتابان؟
به هر آن کجا که باشد به جز این سرا سرایم
سفرت به خیر! اما تو و دوستی خدا را
چو ازین کویر وحشت به سلامتی گذشتی
به شکوفه ها به باران
برسان سلام ما را...

..........................................................................................

دریا

حسرت نبرم به خواب آن مرداب
کآرام درون دشت شب خفته ست
دریایم و نیست باکم ازطوفان
دریا همه عمر خوابش آشفته ست

............................................................................

 
پاسخ
هیچ می دانی چرا چون موج
در گریز از خویشتن پیوسته می کاهم؟
زان که بر این پرده ی تاریک این خاموشی نزدیک
آنچه می خواهم نمی بینم
و آنچه می بینم نمی خواهم

دکتر محمدرضا شفیعی کدکنی

م. سرشک

در کوچه باغ های نیشابور

That poem by Divaneh is one of the best Farsi poems

that I have read on IC.

Dear Ari

That's a beautiful idea, but I don't know if I can come up with anything. This issue makes me really angry to the point that I don't care what they wish to do to this mean bastard as long as it serves as an example to any other idiot who may be contemplating of ruining someone else's life. 

سلامی به دماوند From محمد رضا شفیعیی کدکنی

 This is one of Kadkani's poems which I like and should resonate with those in Diaspora:

...

Incidentally, since Schoenberg was mentioned, I couldn't resist mentioning this essay on Adorno, Schoenber and Atonal Music, cheers

//www.moyak.com/papers/adorno-schoenberg-aton...

...

Some replies

Orang, I quite agree formula can't substitute for soul. Or if somehow it managed to fool us, that formula should be elevated to soul status. Are you familiar with the Turing Test? Poetry would be the ultimate Turing Test.

Divaneh, thank you for the verse from Kolliat e Koravi. On a somber note, yesterday I pondered an imaginary story where instead of blinding Majid Mohavedi, Ameneh Bahrami puts 5 drops of her own tears in each of his eyes. Justice is done as for a few moments he cries with her tears. Would work better as a poem, but I couldn't pull it off. However the poet who wrote  this poem easily could!

Mash Ghasem, found it!..............."آخرین برگ سفرنامه باران این است که زمین چرکین است" -   .very hard hitting for a verse so little and soft.

Prof. Mohamamd Reza Shafiei Kadkani ( M. Sereshk) is also

a great poet as well. He probably has written the shortest modern poem in Iranian literature. Does anyone remember that one?

Hint: It starts with The Last Page of Rain's Journey.

He has many, many  other  great poems as well, respect for his works is appreciated, cheers

محظوظ شدیم

با تشکر از اری گرامی بسیار آموزنده و جالب بود و بنده هم از یک شعر قدیمی بهره گرفتم و این شعر جدید را ساختم.

یه توپ دارم هوا میره

نمی دونی تا کجا میره

سرخ و سفید و آبیه

قلقلیه قلقلیه

Orang jan, you misunderstood me

You singled out my comment and wrote something opposing it while I said what you are saying. Please read it again.If you still have trouble understanding it, let me know to explain it more for you.

Basically I said that sometimes Ostaads have trouble connecting with a poem since they have seen it all. Ostaads get bothered by lack of perfect technique while average reader does not care about perfect technique. Any way, I wrote what you wrote in a different wording.

Frankenstein

Ari jan,

Thank you for your post. It is very interesting. Many times, I’ve been told my poems don’t have “appropriate” format and they cannot be named “poem” and many times I read poems which was well balanced and classical but didn’t give me any feeling or any thoughts.

As you mentioned, we could easily write software for creating a poem. Here you have a site for fun which create automatically “intellectual seemed sentence” in French //www.domisse.fr/fun/management/pipotron.html .

I think a poem is like a human being, it you don’t see a soul it is a dead poem. As Dr Frankenstein you could put aside some words, rimes even rhythms but without soul they are not alive and not a poem. Continuing the same thoughts, you shouldn’t judge someone saying he is good or bad, you like it or you don’t like it. Sometimes, I’ve some poems which may miss something somewhere but for me it is like as having a disable child, I like them even if they haven’t “standard format”.

 I saw in below comments, Anahid referring to some “Ostaades” who did literature study during years and read a lot of poems. Of course it could help and we need them but it doesn’t make them good poets or good writers. Creation cannot be learned in school. You could find more poetry in a Shepard song than some of our “Ostaades” .  All real poets, as Hafez and Khayams has always considered themselves as students and eternal seekers, nobody is Ostaade.  

Regards.

Orang

آری گرامی

من نه با آرنولد شوینه برگ.. و موسیقی

.میونه خوبی دارم و نه با بعضی از شعرهای نو که هر دو بنظر من ناهنجارند...

و مانند همان جیغ بنفشند

البته سلیقه ها مختلفند

و اما این آقای دکتر شفیعی که نمیشناسمش...چه کند؟

جز اینکه این  چیزی بنویسد و ابراز دکتری کند.

باشد که شفا یابد

شیرین

Some replies

Mash Ghasem: thanks for the refrences to Goldmann and Barahani. Kadkani makes brief reference to Goldmann in his article; seems like an interesting mind to study, though perhaps not a trivial task to understand. Don't know Barahani's critical argument warning of a crisis, perhaps a summary of your take on his points would help. Kadkani seems to "blame" the state of mind of society which encourages literature that does not contain "kalaam e nafs," relying instead on formulatic verse construction. Interestingly he takes a jab at Sohrab Sepehri followers (though not at Sepehri himself). He contrasts the current "Sepehri" era with praise for our Mashrooteh era poetry--perhaps because what the poets had to say was on a larger scale.

Ahang1001: Glad you liked the article. A response to Kadkani's anti formulatic attitude is of course the music of Arnold Shoenberg.How else are we going to break away from our habits of the mind--what we think of as harmony?  Though from the article I think Kadkani wouldn't have a problem with Schoenberg in that his musical innovations are done "right"--ie. with full knowledge of the previous formulas of music composition.

Anahid: I don't get the impression that your poems are jadvali. Your point about political bravery is well taken. Kadkani's emphasis on "eternal" verses may be ignoring "temporary" artistic expressions which burn bright but shortly. But refering to my reply to Mash Ghasem, are the opposition poets simply expressing the anguish of oppression, or do their poems--as in Mashrooteh poetry-- reflect an emerging new mindset? A new view of who we are and how we relate to each other.

Interesting blog, thanks Ari

I usually write what I think and what sounds nice to me. All of us are influenced by poets before us whom we have read. So if you read a jadvali poem from me, blame those before me, since, I never sit down to make it jadvali. However, only an Ostaad has time to worry about these kind of things. Regular readers just read a poem and connect with it if they like the content or how it sounds.  Regular readers also care whether the poet is famous or they like him/her because of factors like bravery that the poet has shown such as those poets in Iran who write against IRI.

People like Ostaad Kadkani have seen and read much poetry and have written many poems themselves and have doctorate degress in Persian literature so they are not as easily influenced or don't feel connected as easily as average person. If a poet wrote a jadvali poem but his/her poem brought joy to readers or they learned from it, he/she has been successful. Thanks Ari for writing about Ostaad though. As they said "harche az doost resad nikoost" and i have great respect for Ostaad Kadkani.

ممنون از این

ممنون از این مطلب آموزنده

تا که پی بردم به این راز نهان

شعر ها گویم از این پس ...بس روان 

...

Thanks for Kadkani, hadn't read anything from him for a long while. It's always good to read from him, whether you agree with him or not,  not to mention one of his teachers, namely

//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucien_Goldmann

Although Kadkani never uses the term Crisis, what he points out to might also be a symptom of a crisis in Iranian poetry. Which is exactly what Reza Barahani used to call it. Haven't read anything from Barahani on this either for a long while. Might not be a bad idea to find out, cheers

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