Who’s got Banana Sam?

Who’s got Banana Sam?
by Ari Siletz

San Francisco Bay Area authorities are asking local communities to help find Banana Sam, the squirrel monkey who was kidnapped from the San Francisco Zoo last Thursday (photo and description above). As Iranian-Americans are very much part of any local community in the U.S., it is within the jurisdiction of this website to publicize the request.

To explain how the kidnapper gained access to Banana Sam, TV reporters mention a hole that has been cut into the monkey cage. However, no report has yet questioned how the thief was able to catch the agile critter, and why no other monkeys escaped through the hole.

Squirrel monkeys are a New World species whose females are distinguished for having a pseudo penis to lord over others of their kind during political dominance struggles. Before Banana Sam the most famous squirrel monkey was Miss Baker (1957-1984). She was the first squirrel monkey to survive being shot into space.

As one San Francisco police officer said, “If your friend, relative, neighbor or acquaintance suddenly has a pet monkey that they didn’t have the day before, please call 911.”  To which I may add, if this friend, relative, neighbor or acquaintance has a space rocket in his backyard that he didn’t have the day before, that too merits a phone call to the authorities.


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Update: Banana Sam found!

by Ari Siletz on

He was hanging out in a park just a few miles from the zoo. It seems the intention was never theft; just to let the monkeys escape. Only Banana Sam took the offer.

There was a $5000 reward for his return, which I hope the park visitor who lured Banana Sam into his backpack collected.How do you lure a monkey into a backpack?!

Banana Sam and 20 other monkeys moved to the San Francisco zoo last summer after the research center they worked for closed down and they became unemployed.

Red Wine


by Red Wine on


The last time that I saw him he was in a Friday prayer

by divaneh on

And he seemed a little disappointed that no Banana Sundis were on the menu.

Ari Siletz


by Ari Siletz on

You ask the pertinent questions that any self respecting investigative journalist should have asked. They do mention that BS was old, which may be why he was captured and not the others. On the other hand, Miss Baker of NASA fame lived a good 27 years, so a 17 year old squirrel monkey doesn't seem that over the hill--certainly young enough to avoid capture. Perhaps Banana Sam's overuse of male enhancement drugs caused zealous erotic behavior leading to post coital torpor. This is consistent with none of the other monkeys in the cage having enough stamina left to escape through the hole in the cage.  

Happy New Year! Looking forward to next year's humorous and insightul MPD writings.

Multiple Personality Disorder

Do you know, did the thief specifically went after Banana Sam?

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

Since there were other monkeys in that cage, did the thief, or thieves, specifically went after Banana Sam (BS), and why; or it just happened that the one they caught was BS?

Do you know whether BS has ever been involved with any male enhancement drug experiments?