Freedom to Swipe iPads before Freedom of Thought


by bahmani

Who can blame us? It is indeed a slow Iranian day. I mean with everyone all but falling asleep during the recent Moscow talks, yet again resulting in no results. And with the next meeting location announced as being back to boring Istanbul? There is pretty much nothing to blather on about these days.

Even Ben Affleck's upcoming film "Argo" about the US rescue of 6 diplomats holed up at the Canadian embassy during the hostage crisis, isn't hitting theaters until October (Surprise!).

What better topic to blather on about, than some misguided southern redneck Apple employee who decided to "Save 'Murka from Terr-ists" by interpreting the Sanctions on Iran on his own, about as well as Khamenei has interpreted the Qoran and Iran's Constitution. On his own.

I recently spoke to God as I often do, about Khamenei again, as well as just to make sure I am still not the one true prophet (not yet, but fingers crossed, God told me to check back after this summer), and God said, "Dude, don't ask me, I've given up, Ali's frickin' crazy."

Clearly neither Ali, nor this summer-jobbing hipster is qualified to serve either Iranians or Americans at the "Genius Bar".

What is truly insulting though, is our once again misplaced priorities. We appear to think nothing of our greater lack of daily freedoms, and seem to think that buying an iPad in Atlanta is more important that objection to the far greater insult our brethren impose on us.

Allow me to remind everyone where we stand exactly:

By my suggestion here that we should be more outraged at the Iranian government and its lack of foreskin and consequently foresight in enacting ridiculous freedom sapping laws, I have just now put that thought into your heads. And now that you are thinking about how inhumane, unfair, unreasonable, and un-freedomish Iran is now, at this very moment, thanks to me and my fat-mouth-pen, you are all now guilty of "Thought Crimes". An actual real crime inside iran. A felony, I believe.

So, while you think about how you are going to get even with the Alpharetta Apple store in the North Pointe Mall, make sure you wipe any traiterous thoughts about Iran from your pointy heads before you storm off to free Iran from Apple Tyranny after you find out if they validate parking or not. If not, screw it.

Because the real cost of your newfound demands for the "freedom to swipe an iPad", is your freedom to merely think about Iran in any way you want to think about Iran.

And like the thought of giving up your iPhone in order to boycott the one and only Iranian in the World who doesn't know how to successfully buy an iPad in the US, happening to run into the one and only redneck employee of Apple who doesn't know how to sell one, who would ever think of that!

Posted from my flag of Iran covered Farsi text enabled iPad.


more from bahmani

Very well said

by varjavand on

Sometimes we blow things out of proportion