Iran's Next Football Team


Iran's Next Football Team
by bahmani

Originally posted on //

In it's continued quest to baffle and stun FIFA as well as Iranian soccer fans around the world, Iran announced it's latest bid to win the World Cup.

Iranian soccer federation officials released a secret photo of the latest Iranian national team practicing at a different secret training facility than the usual one everyone already knows about, outside Natanz.

"Recently, starting about 7 years or so ago, we have found that Natanz has been producing an unusually high number of some of our best short-in-stature players." The Iranian federation official noted.

"We think that what this team may lack in size, speed, size, agility, and size is more than made up in their ability to cause the opposing team severe knee and ankle injuries, as well as trace radiation sickness, giving our team the distinct advantage."

Although there is no height or radiant energy requirements for entering a team to qualify for the World Cup, it remains to be seen if this latest gamble by Iran to win anything on the World stage will also be rejected by FIFA.

Iran said, "If this team is rejected too, we are prepared to start our own World Islamic Dwarf Cup. Obviously the field would be much smaller, about half the size of regulation fields, but attendance would be entirely free for all male fans as well as all male dwarf fans alike, on Fridays after prayers, of course."

When asked if Iran's Islamic Dwarf Cup would allow women dwarfs to play, the Iranian federation spokesman replied, "No, that would be fucking crazy".

Several Iranian dwarf women fans who had gathered outside waiting for the news, stated on condition of anonymity, "I don't care if they don't let me in, if I have to, I'll dress up like a dwarf male and sneak into the games."

Fellow short players Lionel Messi of Argentina, and team USA's Landon Donovan welcomed Iran's latest plan, and issued a press release stating, "Since we have personally benefited greatly by being two of the shorter players in the World Cup, we welcome Iran's team, and look forward to personally greeting them when they arrive in Brazil in 2014, actually, we should plan on going together, since we can all probably fit in one car."


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This is so

by Raoul1955 on

FUNNY.  Thanks for writing this wonderful piece.



by zztop on

tasteless humor...