I Am A Citizen Of The WORLD

Well, well. For the Indian audience, this one did not work. Although touted as Aishwarya Rai’s big one from Hollywood, Pink Panther 2 (PP2) sank without a trace abroad. There was not even the slightest craze in India. Consider this: the press conference wore a deserted look as much as the theatrical release.

Remember the lovable Peter Sellers with whom Pink Panther was almost synonymous. What Sellers did to construct a brand, Steve Martin sinks it all single-handedly. And he is ably supported by the supporting cast.

PP2 is a sequel to “The Pink Panther” (2006). Inspector Clouseau (Steve Martin) must team up with international detectives to catch a burglar The Tornado. At stake is Pope’s ring and of course the diamond Pink Panther. It is a forgone conclusion Clouseau will end up catching the burglar along with his bumbling act.

With an impressive star cast of Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina, Lily Tomlin, Jeremy Irons and Aish, it should have been a run-away comedy hit. Alas it is far far away from being one.

With a wafer thin storyline and equally insipid performances, we eagerly waited for it to come to an end soon. We were not lucky. We had to suffer it.

Aish has earlier done a reel Khakee and a real-life Salman Khan act. It is a repeat in PP2. It is a repeat of double-crossing and betrayal. You will say it should be interesting then.

Can’t say her role is miss-and-blink but the role by itself is nothing much. She is a PETTY THIEF! She is trying hard enacting a convincing ‘accent’ and admiring herself. Wonder then where is the time for acting when she is so busy otherwise.

Prior to the movie, she was giving big interviews about PP2 and her role. When the cat was out of the bag, she said it is not about the role but being able to work with Martin. Consider this. The producers didn’t even consider her good enough for the posters. She was missing from them. They didn’t call her for the promotional tours too as “her appeal is limited to South Asia.”

At 35+ and looking plump, Bollywood offers have dried up for her. And if PP2 is her ‘big’ Hollywood release, what can one do except feel pity.

Bollywood centres on nubile nymphets (we now have Hansika Motwani, 16, who is nearly 20 years younger than Aish) and gorgeous fresh looks. And if one knows acting, it is like icing on the cake. Where is Aish on these three vital scores?

She may not benefit from Hollywood but the future Indian actresses definitely will as there is awareness about them. Frieda Pinto is only the beginning.

After acting with Amitabh as his sister in Hum Kisise Kam Nahin and now opposite fatherly Rajnikant in Endhiran, it can only go higher (next maybe gramps Dilip Kumar).

With her ad campaigns being bagged by younger Katrina Kaif and roles collectively going to to Kareena, Katrina, Priyanka and Deepika (KKPD), where does Aish find herself? Is giggling acting? Is remaining in news by criticising “Slumdog Millionaire” enough?

There is a shelf life for all heroes and heroines. Her younger contemporaries Kajol, Karisma, and Ravina are fine examples of being fine actresses and good house-wives. Kajol is still in demand.

Today’s teen girls or even Indian women have role models in KKPD. Aish could be one (role model) to her future children but shockingly she doesn’t plan to have children in a long long time to come. So, where does that lead her? A very good question indeed.

After PP2, a word of advice to Aish behenji: Retire gracefully.