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A 12-Step Program to Save I.R. Supporters
06-Sep-2010
Despite all the heated debates and rhetoric coming from the secular and western-educated supporters of the Islamic Republic, I have always believed that not only they are not on the regime’s payroll, but deep down they agree with the rest of us about the evil nature of this regime. But somehow, somewhere along the way their egos got bruised by a bad date or a redneck neighbor, and as a result they began identifying themselves with Hamas, Hezbolah and the rest of the chest beating crowds.
So in order to bring these misguided brothers and sisters back to our fold and under the big tent, I have devised an easy and confidential 12-step program, modeled after Alcoholic Anonymous (not affiliated with Anonymouse, Anonymous Observer, or any other anonymous Iranian.com reader!)
Here is all they need to do and say!
1. We admit that we are powerless over our obsession with Israel – Palestinian conflict.
2. We have come to believe that we need help from our wiser brothers and sisters on Iranian.com who could restore us to sanity.
3. We have made a decision to turn our arguments over to the care of reason and logic.
4. We have made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and have realized that as western-educated, secular, US Citizens that do not practice Islam, we have nothing in common with the fanatic, stone-throwing, child-beating, rapists and murderers of the I.R. regime.
5. We admit to the other readers on Iranian.com and other human beings the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We are entirely ready to have the sane readers on Iranian.com remove all these defects of characters.
7. We humbly ask them to remove our shortcomings.
8. We have made a list of all persons on this site that we have amused and entertained by our exaggerated claims about the military might of the I.R., and have become willing to make amends to them all.
9. We will make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would deprive them or others from their daily dose of laughter.
10. We will continue to take personal inventory by monitoring Press TV, IRNA, ISNA and other I.R. propaganda tools and promptly admit that it is all a bunch of crap.
11. We will seek through continued participation in logical dialog with the sane readers of Irania.com to improve our conscious.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we will try to carry this message to the other misguided I.R. supporters elsewhere, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
On the second thought, we are having such a good time messing with these folks. Let’s not change anything!
Also, the more hits and clicks the better it is for J.J.!
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by maziar 58 on Tue Sep 07, 2010 09:34 PM PDTFaramarz khan you've a nice way of writting 2 thumbs UP for you.
with the 12 emami crowds we may need 2 steps only YES or NO.
Maziar
١٣ ؟ ١٤؟ ١٥؟ ١٦؟
MajidTue Sep 07, 2010 09:04 PM PDT
نمیدونم الحاقیّهء چندمه!
ما این کامنت های طرفداری از نظام رو با اسامی متعدّد فقط واسهء دریافت چک های سر ماه مینویسیم خدا شاهده! وگرنه ما ها هم یه ته وجدانی داریم و وقتی از پای کامپیوتر بلند میشیم جلوی آئینه که میرسیم رومون نمیشه تو چشم خودمون نگاه کنیم، به خودمون میگیم « ای سگ ر*د تو این یه لقمه ساندویچ و ساندیس کوفتی! آخه اینم شد ارتزاق؟»
I will prise the Lord
by Bavafa on Tue Sep 07, 2010 06:46 PM PDTWait the minute… I don't believe in "Lord" can I praise Framarz for his wisdom, charm and good stories if nothing else?
" Palestinians have a leadership that is committed to non-violent resistance and a just peace deal"
I say Amen to that emphasizing on a JUST peace deal
"But the I.R. regime and their supporters on this site are still beating their chests about these grievances that have nothing to do with them"
And I say double Amen to that
Mehrdad
مهرداد جان توکل به خدا کن، بقیه اش با من!
FaramarzTue Sep 07, 2010 06:28 PM PDT
Cousin Mehrdad,
Having read your comments about the Israeli-Palestinian issue, I would say that you are definitely salvageable!
You detest the settlers and the right wing Israelis as much as I do! Even the liberal, open-minded Israelis fear these guys the same way as we all do. Religious fanaticism is the same in all religions. But the key point here today is that the Palestinians have a leadership that is committed to non-violent resistance and a just peace deal. And Obama and Hilary are fair brokers.
Let’s acknowledge that Japanese have moved on from Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The Germans have moved on form the bombings of Dresden. The Vietnamese want better relations with the US and even the Iraqis have moved on from Fallujah and Abu Gheraib! But the I.R. regime and their supporters on this site are still beating their chests about these grievances that have nothing to do with them.
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! You have been saved!
My favorite religious movie scene; Burt Lancaster as Elmer Gantry!
Dear cousin Framarz,
by Bavafa on Tue Sep 07, 2010 05:46 PM PDTA great blog as usual, I love your sense of humor which is not substance free either.
Having said that I have a dilemma here, I can't get over the first step as admitting to be powerless is to accept defeat and I rather not do that just yet. But as the rest of the steps go… since I already detest IRI, I can do those standing on my head, no problem there.
So, do you offer any programs where one can detest IRI and the Zionist at the same time? Where one can pledge for the right, justice and freedom for Iranians, Palestinians and Israelis all at the same time?
If so, can you please sign me up?
Mehrdad
P.S. Please don't have "I wish Iran to be bombed" as one of the steps as I can't do that either
15. We Admit We Developed a Mesmerized Attraction to Baha'is
by i am a bahai too on Tue Sep 07, 2010 08:41 AM PDT15. We admit that we have developed a mesmerized attraction to the Baha'i Community of Iran and are helpless to know how to make healthy gestures towards Iranian minorities, who continue to outshine us on the world stage due to a courageous refusal to compromise their beliefs even when sent to the most miserable prison cells.
13. We admit that we're not really "Dearly Beloved" in Iran.
by Anonymouse on Tue Sep 07, 2010 07:25 AM PDTThey confuse brutal crackdown and submission of people with being loved with MASSIVE support of Iranians in Iran under the law! And then they go and vandalize Karoubi's home "under the law"!
Sargoosfand says he has a degree in History (among other things) yet he likes to write his own on-the-go history of what's going on in Iran!
Everything is sacred
faramarz jan, you're
by hamsade ghadimi on Tue Sep 07, 2010 06:58 AM PDTfaramarz jan, you're absolutely right. none of the pro iri crowd (from vile to the moderate!) writes in farsi. not even the ones who appear to be able to read it. i don't think that tahgord even went to elementary school in iran. :) don't mind him, he's just projecting.
Basiji on Steroid!
by Faramarz on Tue Sep 07, 2010 06:43 AM PDTSargord,
Strong Words for a Tuesday Morning!
I guess that I must have touched a nerve here!
Self-hating Exiles from the Motherland! Those are strong words, given your limited knowledge. I guess when pressure builds up, one’s sense of humor is the first thing that goes away! Remember, I am just trying to help you guys.
Here are a couple of more observations, if I may.
None of you I.R. supporters seem to be able to read or write in Farsi and have a limited knowledge of the “street culture” in Iran. It seems to me that you either did not go to high school in Iran or if you did, you lived a sheltered life. And now that you are living in the US, all of a sudden you have turned into some sort of a Super Sepahi or Basiji on Steroid!
Here are a couple of more steps that may help you. Learn to read or write in Farsi. It is not that hard. 5 year olds do it with no problem. Read a book or two on Iranian literature. There are a few folks on this site that write great poems. That would be a good place to start. There is also great social commentary in Farsi here. Start reading them. And if you have any question, please raise your hand and I am sure somebody will reply.
As the old commercial used to say, “Mind is a terrible thing to waste!”
Wow, this is the third
by Sargord Pirouz on Tue Sep 07, 2010 04:49 AM PDTWow, this is the third reference here on IC of "redneck neighbors," by persons projecting anti-Iran views.
That these people have such thoughts serves as a reflection of their own intimidation, as semi-accepted foreigners from a perceived hostile and despised nation.
Alas, these poor intimidated exiles: rejected from the Motherland, thrust into an alien culture and socially demoted into a hostile community.
No wonder they are so antagonistic, being so evidently miserable to the point of self-hating. You know, I actually pity you.
Faramarz - Superb summary of what ails the "IRI community"
by Onlyiran on Mon Sep 06, 2010 07:20 PM PDTI think that they are beyond help though. Their various obsessions and paranoias appear to be clinical. I think that shock therapy and a total "cleansing" of the mind is needed to get these poor sould out of their delirium and back to reality.
Thanks Faramarz jan
by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Mon Sep 06, 2010 06:10 PM PDT... for posting our dear IRI president's photo!
He looks awfully thirsty. Is that Sharbat Shahadat he is sipping?
twelve commandments
by divaneh on Mon Sep 06, 2010 05:06 PM PDTI think you should introduce this as a new religion instead of a program. You have got the commandments and now you need to write a holy book and do a few miracles to have all these misguided religious folk as your followers.
Where is Fred AIPACzadeh?
by Javadagha on Mon Sep 06, 2010 03:48 PM PDTWhere is Fred AIPACzadeh? He keeps intimidating poor souls. Wohoo, JM joojeh!!
Believe It Or Not ...
by R2-D2 on Mon Sep 06, 2010 03:36 PM PDTI came across this news today (from Aug. 24th):
New Muslim University Opens Its Doors In Berkeley
Yes ..... Berkeley :) - !!!!!
.....
by yolanda on Mon Sep 06, 2010 03:02 PM PDTI started to laugh on this part:
I have devised an easy and confidential 12-step program, modeled after Alcoholic Anonymous (not affiliated with Anonymouse, Anonymous Observer, or any other anonymous Iranian.com reader!)
thanks!