Faramarz
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Iranian.com – NIAC Unholy Alliance!
06-May-2011
A Fictional Story about the Secret Alliance between NIAC and Iranian.com to Promote IR Regime’s Agenda in the US!
JJ met with the NIAC executive member Mahshid at the corner of Main and Broadway as was earlier planned. JJ had his trench coat on. Mahshid had a Wall Street Journal tucked under her elbow. “The big bear sleeps all winter!” JJ whispered quietly. “The hummingbird is never thirsty!” Mahshid quietly replied. They smiled and shook hands. It was like a spy thriller at the height of the Cold War in East Berlin!
The secret meeting has been in the works for quite a while. NIAC wanted to know how to post blogs on Iranian.com. JJ explained it over an email. But changing ID/Password became a sticky point. Admin insisted that the information needed to be communicated in person and discretely. After all, that’s what Microsoft had recommended, he argued!
As they sat at a nearby coffee shop and JJ was carefully explaining how to post a news item on the site, little they knew that they were being watched by CIA and NSC. Ali Daei, a Persepolis sympathizer who had fallen out of favor with the IR Regime has been making a case to the American officials about NIAC. He provided valuable information supporting the fact that NIAC was in cahoots with IR and had secretly built a cyber attack network to go after its adversaries. He also disclosed that he unknowingly had stumbled upon a nugget of information that NIAC was getting “preferential treatment” at Iranian.com!
CIA Director authorized an extensive surveillance program to track JJ’s activities. Some time later, he requested an urgent meeting with the President. “We have had him under surveillance in Europe for a while until he disappeared. But because of the great work of our field assets who blog on IC we were alerted to his presence in Mexico. Using our spy satellites we located him in Chihuahua. Our agents noticed a house with a large air conditioning unit which looked different from the other houses in that neighborhood. It raised suspicion that someone important must be living in that house. We believe that it is him. It is decision time Mr. President!” Obama quickly authorized the secret mission.
In a secret conference room at the White House, President Obama and his top national security team were watching the satellite feed from Chihuahua, Mexico where the Navy seals broke into La Conchita Hair Salon and snatched JJ without any resistance. JJ begged them to let Maria finish the dye job, but they quickly rushed him out to the Blackhawk helicopter and took off.
President Obama addressed the nation on Sunday night from the Left Wing of the White House. All stations cut away from regular programming and switched to the breaking news. “My fellow Americans we got him! Last night in a daring operation, our Special Forces lead by the Navy seals snatched and captured a high valued target in a beauty salon in Chihuahua, Mexico. The target, J.J. is known in the Iranian.com community as, the Chief Editor has been a key figure in the unholy alliance with NIAC and other forces that sympathize with the current Regime in Iran and posed a great threat to our national security.” Obama paused and looked at the teleprompter.
“We have had the target under surveillance for a while and his communications on IC were closely monitored by NSC and CIA. Late last week, we were tipped by one of our assets on the ground that he was making a move to leave Chihuahua and come to Washington DC. We believed that it signaled the beginning of a campaign by the Regime to attack our capital. But now, with JJ in custody the threat has been averted. But we will stay vigilant.”
JJ was transferred to a new facility on Easter Island for further interrogation. After a few hours of questioning he was released.
And that’s how JJ ended up on Easter Island where he spends most of his time painting, fishing and dying his hair light brown!
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Everybody in the Pool Please!
by Faramarz on Sat May 07, 2011 07:14 PM PDTMirza,
Thanks for reading brother!
Please don’t hold it in! Let it all out!
Shemrooni,
Thank you my friend.
One of these days, I am going to sit down and write a coloring book with lots of pictures!
Get your Crayons ready!
JJ,
Does Mahshid read WSJ and wear a trench coat on warm spring days?
Those CIA boys are all over DC!
Plot thickens
by Jahanshah Javid on Sat May 07, 2011 03:00 PM PDTBy the way I have a friend in Washington DC who's name is Mahshid. She works for the U.S. government and is my daughter's roommate.
Now it's getting a little spooky...
Nice satire :D
by Shemirani on Sat May 07, 2011 01:09 PM PDTVery Funny bood ....Iranian best gift is their great humour no matter the situation !
you are very talented writer ! looking forward for the book :)
Is this what's at issue?
by mirza on Sat May 07, 2011 11:39 AM PDTارتش سایبری نایاک و سایت ایرانیان دات کام
//www.iranianlobby.com/page1Weblog.php?id=122 If, so ... And since nothing is sacred around here ... What's the big deal about publishing Hassan Da'ie here on Iranian.com. I've seen numerous Trita Parsi's pieces here, so why not let Hassan Da'ie defend himself? What happened to democracy and tolerating each other no matter how much we disagree?اسناد دادگاه فدرال واشنگتن
Cousin Framarz: Nice clip, good choice
by Bavafa on Sat May 07, 2011 09:41 AM PDTI can always count on you for a great story and a nicely selected clip to go with it.
Keep 'em coming
Many thanks
Mehrdad
A Thank You Message in a Bottle!
by Faramarz on Sat May 07, 2011 06:35 AM PDTRea,
Those Aussies have a different sense of humor! I am glad you liked it.
I also agree with your assessment of the off-shore do-gooders!
JJ,
You have the right attitude! How is your painting coming along?
If you are looking for inspiration, start with painting the kitchen!
Aynak,
That was quite a “meatball” of a story!
Mash Ghasem,
These stories generally take about an hour or so to write. However, the ideas bounce up and down in my head all the time!
The goofy comments are all spontaneous!
...
by Mash Ghasem on Sat May 07, 2011 01:24 AM PDTProf. Faramarz, keep'em coming, good stuff. Just out of curiosity, if I may, on the average how many hours a day do you write?
aynak jan, your scenario is a little too bloody: execution, crucification. How about a simple bloodless, in-house coup? In JJ absence, and residence on Easter Island, we'll install Khar as the Supreme Leader of IC, and officialy initiate Hezb Kharan, and purge all the non-belivers, cheers
JJ should be put on trial
by aynak on Sat May 07, 2011 01:03 AM PDTJJ should be put on trial and executed. :)
JJ was dragged to India, and facing court martials trial:
DA: JJ you are acused of encouraging people to consume meet.
JJ: Who me? I just turned Vegeterian !
DA: Who are you fooling? We saw with our own eyes, you refused an article just because it did not have enough meet!
JJ: I am ready to be crucified.
May we all have good dreams.
A note from Easter Island
by Jahanshah Javid on Fri May 06, 2011 09:18 PM PDTFaramarz! I tried really hard to ignore your piece. I just don't want to get sucked into the world of lunatics and haters -- the latest being those who accuse me of the weirdest non-sense. But then I couldn't resist any longer. I started reading it and tried very hard not to laugh. I tried to be neutral and serious and indifferent. Vali nashod! It was too goddamn funny.
Faramarz ..... you already
by Soosan Khanoom on Fri May 06, 2011 05:01 PM PDTFaramarz .....
you already put a UZi in my hands and gave me a role up in the air ...
NO thanks ...... No more roles please ....... give this honor to others on this site
i willl just read your master pieces !
On a more serious note, another diaspora
by Rea on Fri May 06, 2011 04:53 PM PDTWe'd had our own NIAC, for better or for worse.
In the end, it had cost us a war and thousands of lives lost to sort ourselves out.
Lesson. Trust only those IN the country. Those OUT of the country can do more harm than good, no matter their intentions.
Me, been following the story for quite a while
by Rea on Fri May 06, 2011 04:42 PM PDTMe, understand little.
Me, asked my Australian-Iranian niece, she said, oufff, that's Americans.
Me, like Faramarz and IC. ;o)
More Thank You Notes!
by Faramarz on Fri May 06, 2011 03:48 PM PDTام ام جان،
قرص خورشید در سیاهی شد
ج ج اندر دهان ماهی شد
ماندا،
زنان قهرمان!
اسم جدیدی برای دختران سر به هوا!
Thank You Notes!
by Faramarz on Fri May 06, 2011 03:44 PM PDTAs always, thanks for your kind words and as the saying goes, “We will make this fun … or die trying!”
Cousin Mehrdad,
Here is the music that I had in mind.
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVC2j_Kdw8c
Soosan Khanoom,
I like your taste of music. Very nice! I think that I am going to feature you in one of my future blogs! Do you like the villains or good women roles? But your cat stays home! How about a Michele Pfeiffer “Cat Woman” role?
Anahid,
You are blessed with a sense of humor! Thanks for reading and commenting.
SK, I agree
by Anahid Hojjati on Fri May 06, 2011 03:01 PM PDTyou wrote:"sometimes it is just weird and strange words arrangement ." I agree. One of these days, I will pick some words randomly from articles/poems/books. For instance, I may decide to choose the fifth word of the fifth sentence of each article. I think the poem that will be outcome of this selection will be called innovative by some.
SK, if she wrote the song also
by Anahid Hojjati on Fri May 06, 2011 02:57 PM PDTit may be that the reason she sang the song naked was that she wrote it naked. Therefore, that was the only way she could be faithful to the song. I have heard from couple female poets that they have either experimented or thought about writing poetry naked. That is my guess. I did not even know that she sang the song naked, it was news to me until you just wrote it.
By the Way
by Soosan Khanoom on Fri May 06, 2011 02:46 PM PDTJust if anyone is curious in why she sang the song naked I was thinking it may be that she wanted to emphasis on nothingness and emptiness as well as the divinity inside.. but I do not think so she wanted to make a sexy video cause this video by no means suggests that .. it is actually unsexy or as a friend told me once, her willingness to create that video naked in a completely "unsexy" way is acceptance and comfort in her vulnerablity to other people, her environment... to Life as it is, not as we "dress it up".
No I have not heard of her
by Soosan Khanoom on Fri May 06, 2011 02:37 PM PDTNo I have not heard of her ... Unfortunately I do not know many recent Iranian poets .... I purchased a book of poetry from Iranian contemporary female poets and out of like 50 poems in this book I could only like one or two ...... it is not even metaphor to me..... sometimes it is just weird and strange words arrangement ... may be I am not able to get it .... but certainly they do not satisfy my poetry taste ......
Thanks Soosan Khanoom, sorry for asking
by Anahid Hojjati on Fri May 06, 2011 01:32 PM PDTbut as I noted, I like to know what poems and songs mean. As a matter of fact, short time ago, I was reading poetry of some Iranians. I started with women poets and did not like some of them. Too many metaphors. as great as it is to have metaphors in poetry, too much of it sounds phony to me. Then I strated reading poetry written by some Iranian men and I liked them better. Then, I went back and read poetry of "Grenaz Moussavi" and liked it and read about her. Interesting biograpgy. Have you heard of her?
Anahid and to whom it may concerns
by Soosan Khanoom on Fri May 06, 2011 01:21 PM PDTAlanis wrote this after a year of soul searching traveling to India ...... She faced many things in her life and she also witnessed many things both pleasant and non pleasant in India.
This song is a satire on growing terror and arms in the world especially that it was released on when India had just concluded its Nuclear Tests ....Terror caused her to take notice of the things that were important and being thankful for everything in life that gives perspective, for the ability to look at things in a different way......
I think it may speaks of JJ and all these things that is going around in his life including the latest accusation ...
It's a humbling song about growth and gratification, and how easily you can suddenly become aware of yourself and the people around you.
somehow i found it relevant ...
Of course the song's words can be interpreted in different ways - that is the wonder of poetry and song.
Soosan Khanoom, I am interested to know
by Anahid Hojjati on Fri May 06, 2011 12:36 PM PDTyour take on this song that you posted. With songs, almost always I am interested to know what songwriter meant. I would like to know what do you think Alanis meant in this song? Otherwise posting random songs is just random :)).
بدون قهرمان زن هم، خیلی با مزه نوشتی فرامرز!
MondaFri May 06, 2011 12:26 PM PDT
ولی اگه یه کم راک اند رول هم قاطیش بود از این بهتر هم میشد. خدا رو شکر که سوسن خانم به دادت رسید.
Faramarz - not bad at all!
by MM on Fri May 06, 2011 10:28 AM PDTI heard JJ almost went for his pen while being arrested. And, Divaneh was totally disappointed that JJ did not. Divaneh already had a name picked out when the Seals gave him a burial at the sea - JJ Bin Gulf
Faramarz, this is funny
by Anahid Hojjati on Fri May 06, 2011 09:55 AM PDTYou are branching out nicely from romance to Soccer and now this. The funniest part was the part about changing id/password and all these administrative issues. It reminded me of couple times I had to e-mail JJ, with these kind of questions. Funny and also sad that some people like Dai are so beekar that actually get hold of NIAC's e-mails regarding registration issues and then think that they are doing something important by publishing them. Any way, thanks for the satire.
Liked this write... good job Faramraz
by Soosan Khanoom on Fri May 06, 2011 09:43 AM PDTAnd here the music for this blog .... somehow it matches :)
How bout getting off of these antibiotics
How bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How bout them transparent dangling carrots
How bout that ever elusive kudo
Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence
How bout me not blaming you for everything
How bout me enjoying the moment for once
How bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How bout grieving it all one at a time
Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence
The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down
How bout no longer being masochistic
How bout remembering your divinity
How bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How bout not equating death with stopping
Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence
//youtu.be/OOgpT5rEKIU
Thank U - Alanis Morissette
Oh so fantastic… LMAO
by Bavafa on Fri May 06, 2011 09:15 AM PDTThis is just so terrific - I LOVE it
But where is the accompanied music video
Thanks cousin Faramarz
Mehrdad