Jahanshah Javid

Another religious joke

Maybe you've heard it before....

A man dies and goes to heaven. He meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, and it just so happens that St. Peter has some time on his hands to take the man personally for the grand celestial tour.

St. Peter shows the man all the wonderful sights and sounds of heaven.  They finally come to the midpoint side of heaven, and  there they find a massive wall reaching into eternity separating one side from the other. The man becomes confused, scratches his head and asks St. Peter, "what in the world is this wall here for separating one side of heaven from the other." Peter responds, "I'll show you."

He takes him to the other side and there they find hundreds of thousands of born again Christians. The man gets even more confused now and asks St. Peter again, "why the wall and why all the born again Christians on the other side of it cut off from the rest of heaven?"

St. Peter throws up his arms, sighs and says, "Ahh, we let them think they're the only ones up here!" 

Sorry MPD

Sorry for the misunderstanding.  I fixed the tile

You mean, way off Mahmoud

But seriously, Mahmoud always questions everything, always mentions Imam and Imam Zaman, and sees Israel and American behind everything.  

indeed

Nurs joke is more offensive.

;-)

All true dervishes tell the most offensive religious jokes of all. Seek their company if you really want to laugh. This keeps a sort of cosmic balance together. Whereas the pious outwardly attempt to live the life but fail at it inwardly (which then creates outer disturbances and disasters for everyone else);  the true dervishes live the life inwardly and scoff at it outwardly. That's why outwardly they can tell jokes like this  in the hopes to unsettle the pious inwardly from their inner slumber and outer fixation.

I agree, this is not a joke

the prophet always said he was a servent of God. In this case, the head servant, higher than everyone else. why should this be offensive?

Nurs joke is more offensive.

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Thank you, masoudA, for your post. I hope tomorrow turns out to be a great day!

Thank you, Nur-i-Azal, for the bonus joke. LOL!

Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)

"Cactus in the Desert"

way Off Mahmoud

First of all - in this joke Mohammad is closer to God than both Jesus, and Gabriel.   Second - Jesus never preached men to spend their lives for God - Mohammad was the one who wanted to Serve God.   The all mighty appreciates his service and keeps him near. 

But seriously - to the others,

let's put all fear aside and win this.   JJ did something courageous, but along with many others he gave up going to Iran when he played Kermit with his Green scarf.    It is all courageous biut not as courageous as what millions did in Iran today and what they are planning to do tommorrow. 

Let's win this - let's make this a cyber revolution - a big victory for sense and science over insanity and sword. 

Loool Nour

Here's one I heard recently...

God calls all the members of the Ahl-i-Bayt together with the Hidden Imam Qa'im to a meeting in heaven to settle the question of the vilayat. Khomeini shows up and crashes the meeting, and insists that he is a legitimate Imam and should be included in the assemblage.

The Imam Mahdi calls Khomeini over and they start to argue, with Khomeini insisting that he is the true 12th Imam because the Imam Mahdi failed to appear before him, and that therefore the Imam Mahdi should henceforth be more correctly classified as the 13th Imam.

As they argue, the call of nature summons the Imam Mahdi, and he goes to take a leak. He comes back to find Khomeini having taken his place and refusing to move from it.

The Imam Mahdi now goes to complain to God, and God says to the Qa'im, "I've been afraid to get up from my own place for over the last hour to go take a dump, fearing this guy will take my place as well next!"

Truly LOL

Wow, Mr. Javid, I'd have never gussed.....

Good stuff.

astghforellaah....where are all the Islamic chest beaters?

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IRAN BEFORE ISLAM 

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Hi! JJ,

      After publishing this joke, can you still visit Iran and return safely? I believe you are using your real 1st and last names and showing your real photo on the site, right? The IRI major, Sargord Pirouz, can turn you in......this guy is reading every thread.  Maybe you got blacklisted by IRI long long time ago........(they block IC in Iran).....so, you are not worried... 

Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)

"Cactus in the Desert"

It's funny!

Thanks for sharing.

Funny indeed

Mamad nokare khoda.  Now the question remains Khoda nokare keeye?

LOL this is very funny

i will steal it

LOL

You should have quoted Anonymouse(ly).

We do not want a fatwa for you nor a jihad against you.  I admire your courage.

Mahmoud:

Mahmoud: "Why in this joke Mohammad is supposed to bring the coffee?  Why not Jesus, or Moses?  And where is the Satan in this joke?  Have you asked yourself these questions?  I'll answer them for you.  The biggest Satan in the world is America, and Israel.  Imam'e aziz farmodand, Israel must be vanished from the pages of time, why?  Because the Jews control the media, and the Christians have allied themselves with the Jews to send me to Heaven, but they put words in my mouth, because I would have asked for Imam Zaman, not Mohammad."

LOOOOOOL

ROFLMAO

JJ

You are Terrible maan

Nontheless that joke cracked me up. It just had some really deep funny element to it LOL