خوش آمدید
به زبان فارسی
PICTORY
LATEST MUSIC
SEARCH
ایرانیان و دیگران
02-Apr-2008
I prefer the latter
It is perhaps a paradox to say I prefer ‘discomfort’, because by definition discomfort is something you don’t like. The dictionary talks of unease, anxiety and pain. But the notion of doing something that might cause you those things at first, while giving you joy on a deeper level, is not new. We all know that studying real hard for something can be rewarding; or working on a business, a career, a child’s education, on something that we really really want – a toned body! But there are people who champion this concept on a whole other level.
For example, there’s my friend Renett, who is paraplegic. She suffers from spinal muscular atrophy and hasn’t been able to get out of bed for the past 10 or more years. But she earns a living from her bed, where she is connected to the internet and the phone. And despite barely being able to move without help and great pain, her online and tele-businesses pay for 9 (!) employees.
It was her 50th birthday the other day. She’s one of the oldest living people in the world with her condition. In her birthday speech, which she gave from her bed, she didn’t speak about the many times she’s been at death’s door, or her recent breast cancer attack. She spoke about her blessings and God’s grace. And the one thing she said, that hit me like dynamite after all the physical ‘hell’ I’ve seen her go through, was: “if I had a choice between the life I’ve had and another life, I’d chose this life again.” And then, “Nothing good ever comes easy”.
I’ve learned a little bit about leaving your comfort zone in order to grow. But this really inspired me. So the other day I invited the parents of the children who come to my children’s class to a themed dinner-party. The theme was “the fast” and our group was really diverse. We had the parents of the children, who are all domestic workers and gardeners, we had a soap opera actress, a radio DJ, a PHD student, a beautician, a former Robben Island prison-inmate and two engineers. We were black, white, Christian, Moslem, Baha’i. It was nuts. I was nervous inviting this crowd. It’s not “easy”. It’s “easier” to invite my closest friends, the ones who look and think like me. The ones who have my level of education, similar life experiences and similar bank statements. The ones I can kick back with. But it’s not as “easy” to invite a crowd that’s different. At first…
Baha’u’llah says that our very diversity is what makes unity so special. It’s the fact that we all look and think differently, that makes us rich when we come together and share and consult. The more diverse we are, the more complete we are. And that kept guiding me as I made my food, lit the candles and played myPutamayo collection for good atmosphere.
And mind you it wasn’t easy for them either. Take the domestic workers, for example. They were so flabbergasted to have me serve them food, to see Ryan, a man (!) of the house, serve them and wash dishes! To sit with a soap opera star, to eat strange food, to have no beer, to listen to crazy nut-heads like myself talking about unity and then hear people sharing their views on the significance of fasting from a Baha’i/Moslem/Christian/political perspective…And yet they came. And their initial discomfort turned into joy as did mine. Last night they came over again and we’re starting a study circle together now.
Inspired by these recent happenings, I decided to pester my neighbor again, the lady who lives next door and has some reservations about the new South Africa. She’s agreed to shoot for coffee on Friday. After I break the ice, I might invite her to one of my colorful parties and ask her to dance!
| Recently by Mona 19 | Comments | Date |
|---|---|---|
جمهوری اسلامی: "دیگر اجازه دفن و خاکسپاری به بهائیان داده نشود" | 5 | Aug 17, 2011 |
نماز جماعت با قاشق داغ | 4 | Jun 17, 2011 |
«مامان، چرا تو؟» | 6 | Nov 05, 2010 |
RECENT COMMENTS
IRANIANS OF THE DAY
| Person | About | Day |
|---|---|---|
| نسرین ستوده: زندانی روز | Dec 04 | |
| Saeed Malekpour: Prisoner of the day | Lawyer says death sentence suspended | Dec 03 |
| Majid Tavakoli: Prisoner of the day | Iterview with mother | Dec 02 |
| احسان نراقی: جامعه شناس و نویسنده ۱۳۰۵-۱۳۹۱ | Dec 02 | |
| Nasrin Sotoudeh: Prisoner of the day | 46 days on hunger strike | Dec 01 |
| Nasrin Sotoudeh: Graffiti | In Barcelona | Nov 30 |
| گوهر عشقی: مادر ستار بهشتی | Nov 30 | |
| Abdollah Momeni: Prisoner of the day | Activist denied leave and family visits for 1.5 years | Nov 30 |
| محمد کلالی: یکی از حمله کنندگان به سفارت ایران در برلین | Nov 29 | |
| Habibollah Golparipour: Prisoner of the day | Kurdish Activist on Death Row | Nov 28 |
Kamangir...
by Mona 19 on Thu Apr 03, 2008 02:37 PM PDT...Thank You for sharing your opinions and good words...I'd like to share my thoughts with you if I may. :)
I think to be Optimistic and Thankful in times of difficulties and counting our blessings is not easy...we, all, have different capacities and strength.But We need to have Faith & Trust in him...sometimes in some complex situation ...we feel we are in the Edge of cliff but as I mention (Trust & Faith ) only one of the two things will happen 1.He will catch you when you fall 2.He will teach you how to FLY.
About Comfort, there is nothing wronge with enjoying luxury (house, car,wealth,...) as you mentined...but as long as we don't get attached to it, and remember the people in need.
and my last thought ...When we meet some people whose opinions,natinalities,belief.....etc differ from us we need to look for similarities instead of differences ..... Finding good qualities rather than bad qualities in other people even if that person has just ONE GOOD QUALITY :)
Regards,Mona
Being true to oneself
by Kamangir on Thu Apr 03, 2008 05:27 AM PDTI enjoyed listening it and somehow understand the point she's trying to make. She seems very honest in her speaking (harfi ke az del miad be del ham mineshine)
Regarding the comfort and difficulties in life, I believe that we humans do seek our own comfort uncounciosly, even in the animal kingdom, same concept applies. However; the concept of 'comfort' is very relative. Being realistic a basic comfort is needed so as to be able to grow as humans, spiritually and mentally.
But I would go back to the very beuatiful Persian quote of (anche az del barayad be del ham mineshinad) if a difficulty is accepted willingly because one's self really wants to do it, then fine!
Osho, the great spiritual master and writer of India, always recommended others to do 'only' and 'only' what you really enjoy doing. In today's life it might be difficult to apply that on daily basis. However; we need to be true to ourselves.
Har kasi ra bahre kari sakhteand,
Mehre an ra dar delash andakhteand
I can accept lots of difficulties with pleasure and stop seeing them as difficulties, when I actually like doing what I'm doing. Be this climbing mountain, running the marathon or taking care of someone else. The reason studying is universally not liked nor enjoyed much by the majority is because is an effort that many don't like. Those who like it do love and enjoy studying.
Same thing applies to love and relationships, if we really like someone and being with that someone that person's mistakes, emotioanl ups and downs and our differences become very easy to solve and handle...
We need to the things 'we' like doing, as long as they are done moderatly. We need to be very close to our 'selves'.
Distinguishing between Voluntary versus Involuntary Discomfort
by Curious Joe on Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:25 AM PDTWhile I admire your Mother Theresa’s attitude of caring for the physically disabled (such as paraplegics), I am not sure what you mean by your blanket statement: “Preferring Discomfort”.
Are you saying that people should go through “discomfort in life” so that they can truly appreciate “comfort in life”? I assure you there are few Donald Trumps in this world who may disagree with you.
I’m sure you know about fakirs (mortaaz in Farsi) from India and elsewhere who would lay on a bed of nails or walk barefoot on red-fire burning coal. The reason they do that, apparently, is to achieve post-Nirvana through experiencing discomfort/pain.
I hope your preference for “discomfort” -- as applied to a paraplegic -- is not the same as fakirs' discomfort, who merely feel better about living on this planet, after having experienced some hardship/discomfort.