Monda

Dears, Thank you for reading!

Lily jan, my eyes are widely opened since that encounter. You got one of Main points by writing this blog, exactly: Nobody bothers to listen!  People are wrapped up in multitasking, attention spans are at all time lowest, manners have gone forgotten... (hey let's blog about it, why don't you? no pressures intended of course, but i somehow know you'd have valuable points to offer)  No wonder relationships are so complicated/ shallow and transient, right? Thank you for your impromptu appearance here. I am honored to be engrossing and entertaining to you.

MPD jan, Thank you so much for your encouragement. yeah i do hope he reads this btw :o)

divaneh arjomand, sure hope you haven't chosen ostokhodooss as your fb avatar :o))  somehow i doubt  that you have.  Yes I agree, I enjoy seeing clips and photos on fb plus finding old contacts and new ones, but not this way. 

since we still don't know what his avatar was/is, well the old lavender has disappeared, therefore he's still there.  Which is Ok by me, he didn't mean any harm... was only socially uncomfortable. Plus alcohol drops inhibitions very easily.

Shahzdeh aziz, I tend to get over unpredictable responses relatively smoothly, no worries.. Perhaps it's got to do with my line of work, or just who i am. Thank you for reading me and caring for my well-being.

what a creepy FaceBook encounter

Monda jan: I wish you a quick recovery from meeting that creep. One more reason why I don't care for a FaceBook account.

One has enough problem with the ones we have actually met ... no need to add a legion of on-line creeps to that!

Love your stories though.

Dear Monda

Thanks for the very interesting blog. I think he wanted to be cool and as a result acted like a weirdo as almost suggested by your last comment. Some Iranians just try too hard to impress. I avoided FB like PW and eventually gave in and joined. As a benefit I have recently found a long lost friend but I am not the best FB user and have to keep sending apologies for late replies. By the way is he still your FB friend? 

Thank you Monda for this original piece

...it was a great read.

Monda jan

I really liked your story. It points out the pitfalls of internet social networking sites. There are plus sides to these sites as well. We need to take the good with the bad, but keep our eyes open!

I feel for you with regard to your dislike of parties. Even if the subject of discourse is not money and clothing, politics or religion, I get the feeling that people are not interested in listening, just spewing their own ego-thoughts. One on one is always more appealing! It is only when we are able to overcome our selves, we can have enlightening discussions with fellow human beings, and see their perspective on this amazing journey!

Thanks again for all your engrossing and entertaining blogs!

BahBah sima va hamsadeh ghadimi jan

mamnoonam az visit.

Maryam, I'm glad you think this is nice! zadam be chak digeh. I never post anything personal on fb, btw, nor write anything meaningful. But who knows who gets thrilled by what, right?! At the beginning I used to think it rude not to respond to someone's friendship request! That's when we all got him as "friend", or he got us rather.

hamsade ghadimi jan, i typed this on mac, somehow a few words at begining of sentences didn't show:

س شماها دوستشو جدا از خودش میشناختین؟ اره؟

نه. بار اوله که میبینیمش.  ولی‌ با ما از فیسبوک آشناست.

نکنه با پسر خالت هم از فیسبوک دوست شدن؟

ممکنه... از ف‌‌‌ (شوهرش) بپرس اسمشو حتما می‌دونه(!)

یعنی‌ ممکنه ندونه؟؟ (ای داد بیداد اگر ف‌‌‌ اسمشو ندونه چه کنم؟!) ف‌‌‌ را با نگاه در حیاط پیدا نکردم.

The alleged stalker had called them a few nights before this party to let them know that he was neighbors with my friend's cousin. He sounded kind enough on the phone for my friend's hubby to invite him over as hamsadeyeh pesar khaleye khanomesh, who was gharib dar in diyar. Live & Learn right?  I had an email from my friend's pesar khaleh that this fellow is academically brilliant But just insecure and comes off as obnoxious, desperate to find friends. Suggested to just unfriend him. pesar khaleh would have a word with him upon his return to Tehran.

monda, i enjoyed your

monda, i enjoyed your writing about the experience you had with your very own stalker.  i'm a bit perplexed on why your friends invited this guy without knowing him to the party.  couldn't they have invited him to their house for another occasion to get to know him or meet with him somewhere?  did you finally find out his relations to the cousin of your friends?  and do you think he's reading this blog (late at night before he goes to sleep)? :)

Very nice blog!

Areh, definitely bezan be chaak! What a creep. Although the guy sounds weird enough that makes you curious who he is. But that's the trouble with FB and other social networking, one way or another it takes up lots of your time and attention. I'm not into it!

Nice writing, though. I guess that's an outcome of the FB experience after all!

Dears PW, Mighty Marjaneh and Red Wine

Thank you for reading this. 

Persian Westender jan: Sounds like you have already found your True friend whom you can say goodnight to, with love and passion.

Lovely Woman: Glad you can laugh so effortlessly :o)  I hear you sister, on the pich pichi characters who like to gain attention from opposite gender, by behaving their shallow sophistication/ ignorance/ addaa haaye avazi.

Red Wine jan: Making your own maast moo seer at home is easy. I'd like madame Penelope to know.

...

از مطلَبتانْ بهره بُردیم و لِذّتْ...در ضمنْ،ما صمیمانه به ماست و موسیرْ عشق میورزیم،نوش جانِتانْ ماندا جانْ.

Iranians divided by the same language

evA sannam MondaJoone delam and all of my intestine!

Although your blog made me laugh, oh no, oh *god* that type! You're lucky you didn't have your camera with you this time or he'll have "taught" you how to use it!

Your blog describes one of the reasons I have very little to do with most people. I never know what they are saying and they speak "peech peechi", expecting everyone to understand all the unwritten rules and inevitably I upset them by not following the rules of the game, very simply because I haven't got a clue what they are on about!

(I only keep old friends on FB, who happen to live far far away....Previously, the amount of people who shamelessly used to nick my friends...)

Thank you for your deliciously funny blog! I would have run miles in my heels, if I hadn't remembered cinderella's shoe!

"...society celebrates its live conformists and its dead troublemakers..." - Mignon McLaughlin

I've never been a facebook member

and probably will never be.

but this guy seems to be weird for couple of reasons:

1-staring at your shoes 2- not introducing himself 3-"creepy" smiles 4-... 

these days even first hand friends can not be trustworthy, let alone friend of friend of ....on facebook.

but don't worry, hopefully ignoring him would do the trick 

Basic Manners...

including proper self-introduction, courtesy of answering basic inquiries (even first name would do) and the way a person physically behaves towards a new acquaintance is important in any culture.  Do you agree Yolanda jan?  I was not inclined to be open and honest with this person, past the first 4 mins (if that long)... he did not deserve it.  I felt more comfortable at that moment with showing my discomfort by distancing myself, rather than give him my words.  I could've said something like, "you are evading my legitimate questions, therefore I don't feel comfortable talking to you (?)", which sounds rather awkward in Persian. At least to me.

I may be a tad inept in dealing with strangers - in social settings. Because I have not been in much informal contact with Iranians of various backgrounds. Thank you for reading and your suggestion.  

......

Hi! Monda,

  Thank you for the translation! Should you give this person the benefit of the doubt? Is that possible that he has no evil intention and he just wants to compliment you?.....but if you don't feel comfortable with the comments he made, you should let him know, also......

take care!

Translation for Yolanda and Latina (in case interested)

I met some stranger at a party where I discovered he had been my friend on FB for the past year. When asked how he knew me, what his name was, he would find ways to ignore my inquiries.  My friends who had invited him to their party knew this fellow through their cousin (in Iran on business),  also through FB. 

The stranger announced to me , after awkward gazes since I arrived that night, that he'd been reading my posts on FB each night, in Iran!  (Creepy I know) Then he was making comments on my looks, dress and shoes.  He really got under my skin.

Bottom line: Do you think that friend of a friend of a friend, on FB, can be trusted??  

مجید جان، اسنو خدوس !

فکر می‌کنم خودش باشه. دوستم فکر می‌کنن اونیه که همیشه پرندس. ولی‌ هنوز به توافق نرسیدیم. پسر خاله شون هم از ایران رفته به دبی. هنوز شماره  یا سکایپی در دست نیست.

Anahid jan, thank you

Yes it can be creepy not knowing who's reading you on fb, no matter where they're reading you from.  I hear you on your protective measures.  I no longer think it's rude not to accept friend requests there.

Ebi jan, javab daram

نه اسمشو فهمیدم، نه رابطشو با دوستام. عکسش‌ هم در فیسبوک از این گیاه تبدیل میشه به اون گیاه.

نان سنگک داغ هم جای شما خالی‌ میل شده بود، قبل از کرفس. نگران نباش.

ماندا........

بعضی ها واقعاً گند بی جنبه گی رو در میارن، نمونه ش همین دوست دوست دوست شما!

به بعضی ها وقتی (حتی رو اینترنت) سلام میکنی همون شب قبل از خواب شروع میکنن با خودشون ور رفتن یا بلافاصله تو خیال خودشون میشن محرم اسرار و  دخترخاله آدم، معشوقهء آدم و خلاصه هیچی دیگه.....خر بیار و باقالی بار کن!

بهترین کاری که میتونست بکنی این بود که بگی «تو عکس فیس بوک تون خیلی با شخصیت تر و با جنبه تر بنظر میومدین!»

Monda jan, this is funny

Dear Monda, that is why sometimes I don't accept some friend requests because the person seems suspicious somehow or does not use real name. I have several fb friends who are writers on IC or otherwise politically active and use pen name and I have no problem with that since after almost two years writing on IC, I know they are good people or they are people whom I know by complete name and background even if they use pen name on fb.

But just today someone wanted to become my fb friend and they called themselves "sarbaze vatan", that does not seem personal. Monda jan, I see how you must have felt uneasy since you did not know the guy's  name and his comments also made you uncomfortable. Thanks for sharing your story.

Monda Jaan

Amnaan az daste "Karafs dar Maast o Moosir"!!

Heyfe Maast o Moosir nabood?? LOL

At least you could talk to him,doesn't matter he knows you from facebook or.....

Ba'de ye omri,hanoozam khejaalati hasti o gonaahesho be gardane facebook mindaazi?.

cheers

Ebi aka Haaji