msabaye

my advise to mssabaye

if you ms sabaye find yourself being compassionate more tha greedy, if you find yourself debating things like social justice and God;s existence then in my opinion you are more attracted to non material things in life.  If however, you do your best to cheat and fool others to become rich thenyou are materialistic.

if you are the former which it soun ds to me you are, with mcuh sadness I inform you then you will always feel like no one understands you as long as you live in Canada.

I suggest you work really hard this year to save up money and make money, and make plans to spend all of 2011 in your hometown in Iran or another city where your relatives wouldnt be so nosy and to give you a semblence of freedom.

if ever since day one, you have felt home sick even after decades in Canada, unfortunately it won't get better.  I think you ought to go back to Iran.  If you have no family yet, plan on establishing your family in iran first then you could decide to move back to Canada if you still feel like it. 

you only have one life.  no matter how rich or poor, your kids will still love you.  if you are super rich, your kids will become too complacent in life.  if you are poor, then you kids will always be pushing the envelope to get ahead and make it.  so reallly there is no win or lose situation as far as money is concerned. 

Do what your heart tells you, and calm your mind.  Do not go and spend 1-2 months in Iran to see if you like it.  you won't.   spend a longer time.  and dont worry about the nay sayer in Iran who are like "how dumb where you to leave Canada and go to Iran."  For those people their goals and priorities in life might be different.  to them money might be all that matters.  However, for you peace of mind is what might matter and the naysayers might not be feeling what you are feeling.

Dear msabaye,

I copy/pasted yours of Elliot verbatim, because that is what I remembered too, in gist anyway.. exact words don't matter to me, sometimes.  I enjoy your blog very much. 

Dear Monda

Yes, this is the poem. I recited what was left of it in my memory. Thanks for the correction.

Living in Canada

As I read your article I also thought of what I have always said that it is one's mind that determines one's quality life, as it is the mind that sets one's expectation and one's view of life.  I grew up in Tehran back in the sixties, but I never felt that I belonged there.  When I moved to America in the seventies I felt that I was in heaven.   So it is not where you grew up but how you feel about a particular culture and environment that determines how you enjoy life and such.  Have you met people who grew up in Canada but never felt they belonged there and moved to India, Africa, or elsewhere?
One last issue: Being Iranian is just a nationality [citizenship] that one can change, just like one’s life style or one’s name, and not a genetic disease that afflicts one for life. If you look around I am certain that you will find folks who were born and raised where you live in Canada who feel lost in life and look for excuses outside themselves.

Dear msabaye,

I especially enjoyed this one of your writings as it resonates so closely with my own experiences of looking from the outside and need for exploration of values that really matter.

Canada has much to offer and not without her own problems to work with. 

I think this is T. S. Eliot: 
"We shall not cease from exploration 
And the end of all our exploring 
Will be to arrive where we started... 
And know the place for the first time.”

My $0.02

Msabaye, thank you for your lovely tribute to Canada and diversity!  That T.S. Eliot poem is one of my favorites. :)  I have always felt incredibly lucky that we should have the world come to Canada (well, maybe immigration more than the Olympics!).  I am not unaware that it is often at the expense of the world, both other countries who lose some of their best, and individuals to whom Canada promises more than it can deliver.  Thank you. :)

Oh, and if you are looking for another culture that includes fresh herbs with meals, try Vietnamese - you should get at least some of cilantro, basil, several kinds of mint, several other Asian herbs, bean sprouts, chili, and lime!

Bomannyali, I must say I find your tone rather presumptuous and disrespectful.  The stories of Iranians I have met are as diverse as the elements of your avatar.  Iranians, like anyone else, should have a meaningful choice to stay in their homeland, to leave their homeland, to return to their homeland, to adopt a new homeland, and/or to otherwise define, discuss, and pursue what they want from life.  You have a right to your choice.  Kindly show some consideration for the right of others who may choose (or be forced to choose) differently.

some iranians choose to be palestinians

And by that, I mean some Iranians choose to be homeless.

Iranians in exile will eventually achieve economic relief and perhaps prosperity but they will always feel unsettled.

These are the conditions for stability in Life:

1. Find a mate and get married.

2. Have some kids

3. Be a part of the community you live in.

For exiled Iranians, condition # 3 will be the main obstacle to stability.  Part of the reason, is no matter how much they try, their body revolts against the community they live in.

Also, Iranians in general are not religious or atleast care very little for social and communal religious activites.  This leaves them "out of the loop."

Furthermore, Iranians no matter how liberal can't blend in with their weekly football watching, basketball cheering, beer drinking peers.  Why? because it is not a part of Iranian culture.

Iranian culture is about family gatherings, going to the park and finding Hamvatans chilling on the grass or going to the green Bagh and barbequing- things that are hardly found in new found lands.

It is no wonder that Iranians upon turning 60 start itching for Iran.  Afterall, all the money they accumulated contrary to their expectations did not translate into happiness because they are as homeless as Palestinians.

Ofcourse, it certainly doesn't help when Iranians i Canada have to watch Canadian hockey players celebrating their Olympic victory on the ice ring by drinking beer and smoking cigars- Iranians are thinking I can't take this culture anymore.

For Iranians in the US, they have to deal with people like Glenn Beck, Hannity, O'Reilly, Limbaugh, grannies going to play the slot machines, young kids listening to rap and wearing loose jeans that expose their underwear and having to listen to repetitive filth about sex and cheating every morning on the radio.

That is why I chose to live the rest of my life in Iran and die in Iran.

Ofcourse, I took the United States to the cleaners before I left.  I took my rightful share before I left.  

.......

Thank you for the very interesting article....your experience reminds me of my days as a graduate student.......I met fellow students from different parts of the world....I had a great time interacting with them...it was fun even though I was super poor! .......Right now I like the cultural diversity of Southern California!

Nice blog. Thanks!

How do you rate the Canadian healthcare system?