Nazy Kaviani

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Hi! Nazy,

     LOL! You have amazing memory! You nailed me big time. I am checkmated! You must be a very analytical person.

I look forward to your next story!

thanks,

Dear Yolanda

Stop being so modest! Of course you are very intelligent and articulate and a very nice person, too, always saying kind and considerate things.

I doubt it takes any amount of astuteness to have noticed that none of your comments have subject lines. My curiosity is directed at your support for the "Recent Comments" box during a recent blog entry by Jahanshah. If I recall correctly, you were one of the users who rooted for the feature, asking that the capability be restored when it was temporarily disabled. I think if you are so interested in seeing other people's comments real-time, it is only fair if you let others see your comments, too. Sorry for the intrusion. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my question.

Thank you

Thank you all for your very kind and supportive words. Your encouragement means a lot to me, keeping me focused on trying to write more and write better. Thank you for being such gracious readers.

Nazy jan, I agree with all you wrote in your comment to me

Dear Nazy, issues that you discussed in your short but important comment addressed to me are all very important and I have same opinion about them as you have stated in your comment.  Thanks.

Intriguing

Nazy jan, The love stories you write -- whether your own or those of others -- are always fascinating.  I will have to tell you my observation of arranged vs. non-arranged marriages in my extended family next time I see you.

The Book

Another example of how real lives are far more interesting than one imagines, especially when it comes to matters of love. Thank you for sharing. I hope you're going to contact book publishers soon if you haven't already. Publishers die for human interest stories and you have them! Enough for a multi-volume series.

When we are young

Nazyjoon, Salam--

I could write one of these, too, huh?  I was thinking that it's interesting how we figure out roads ahead, how we figure out what we are (rather certain) is going to happen in life, once certain decisions get made, or, alternately, how we figure out how things "would have been" had we made another--or THE other--decision.  In fact, I think that's all conjecture.  Life could have gone any number of ways, irrespective of our certainty to the contrary.

Had I not married the Iranian young man I married thirty years ago, what? Do I think I know what my life would have been like?  Had I aborted my first child and divorced him and let him go on his merry way and I on mine, what? Had I divorced him when we only had one child, when he slapped me across the face for asking him how he was doing, a few weeks after we found out his mother had died, what?  Do I figure out what my life would have been like?  That's just imaginings, isn't it?

I'm not saying anything against what you wrote--you know that--I am just adding another layer to all what others have written about and what you have talked about here.  I agree with you that we don't gain anything by wishing things were different.  The truth is that if I COULD have divorced him at various times, I would have...if I had believed that it was the right thing to do, I would have done it...but it wasn't time yet for me, just as it hadn't been time for you until it was time.  So, Shirin didn't get to marry Farzad and she could perhaps always wonder what it may have been like (and perhaps romanticize it).

For me, there'd been a boy I'd always loved and always assumed I would marry one day.  Instead, I married an Iranian out of love (and out of a lot of other reasons that I understood once I got older and did a lot of introspection and acknowledgement of my own issues) and thirty years later, I can look at the man I had once wanted so desperately to marry and I think, "What the hell did I ever see in him?!"  

Our lives are filled with changing paths that lead us from youth and naive assumptions to, hopefully, graceful aging and wisdom. 

Miboosamet az dur, dokhtarjoon--

ZA

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Like always ... nice, sweet and something new to learn ...

I will wright  more about Chatanooga ... there was our place to doing 'dokhtar bazi' .

Thank you Nazy jan :=) .

Dear Nazy,

I'd say your lovely story could be more the perfect outline for a 300 page novel!!

Thank you for sharing, Azarin

Nazy jan

That was a lovely story. I thought it was very touching the way you wanted to share your misfortune with your your friend in order to make her feel less unhappy about the marriage situation that she was in.

But if you ask me, the one good and positive thing about marriage is that it makes divorce possible. 

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Hi again Nazy :)

If I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing
about what I did and what may have turned out to be my "mistakes" in
life.

I used to say that and mean it, even though I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I have a lot of regrets. Because after all, if I'd done things differently I wouldn't be the same person I am today so how could I want to change things?

But!

If there's one thing I could do differently it would be to have filed for divorce when I first realized the marriage was over and that we weren't going to be able to salavage it. I think my dad's many divorces made me a bit stubborn on the matter, and I resolved that I was never going to be one of those divorced people! So I ended up staying in a bad marriage about 3 years too long, and that did me a lot of damage that in retrospect I'd save myself if I could!

In general though, I agree with you! I think that's a very positive attitude to have :)

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Hi! Anahid,

    I enjoyed reading your post very much, here is your words:

It is just the fact that people fall in love and sometimes they grow apart.  They have to make an effort not to grow apart or once it happens, they should just accept it, move on, and find their next love.  As simple as that!

Wow! you are great at streamlining the life process for us! I think we have to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst!

thanks,

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Hi Nazy,

      I truly enjoyed reading your post to Anahid. I like your positive attitude, which is great!!

      Your question for me is very interesting. LOL! You are very observant! I try not to draw attention to myself 'cause I am absolutely nobody here! I made my decision not to write anything in the subject fields based on the answers to the following questions:

1) Can I write an article in English? No!

2) Can I write a poem in English? No!

3) Can I write an article in Farsi? No!

4) Can I write a poem in Farsi? No!

5) Do I know Iranian politics? No!

6) Does everyone have to read my post? No!

thanks, O:)

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Hi! Nazy,

      Thank you again for your very interesting love story. You are a great mobilizer and organizer, you have brought people together to write. You are a uniter, not a divider, (not like GW Bush O:))....I forgot to mention that even the cartoonist, Mr. Hast, responded to your invitation. The guy drew a picture reflecting the parental love....

    I have a couple of questions regarding your story...you said that

1) in episdoe #7, Shirin lived happily ever after...but in episode #3, it sounded like Shirin married the doctor, that was not her 1st choice, she preferred Farzad...her parents liked the doc more...my impression is that the parent overrode their daughter's decision..

2) In episode #5, the story said Shirin still missed Farzad....My question is: is there a possibility that in your future episode Farzad and Shirin will meet somewhere......Does Farzad have any residual feeling left for Shirin or Shirin is just "carrying the torch" (the unrequitted love)?

thanks,

Dear Anahid:

I'm with you on that philosophical thought! The only advantage in marrying with love is in the experience and fulfillment it brings us, even if it ends up in a breakup. If I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing about what I did and what may have turned out to be my "mistakes" in life. The lot of my experiences are what have helped me enjoy my life to the fullest. When we look back at divorces and breakups, it is too easy to want to write off the whole experience as a "mistake." But in fact not every moment and every day of those relationships were filled with disagreements and quarrels, were they? They also had great moments of love, passion, laughter, joy, and comfort. Why not remember them?

Dear MPD

I think Episodes 7 and on would tell us that Shirin lived as happily ever after as everyone else did!

If you like, you can take a look at a true love story  I wrote a couple of years ago which had more interesting twists than the story here. If you read it, you might like to know that that couple are still together and going strong.

Dear Yolanda

Thank you for your kind words. Isn't the group at Iranian.com just amazing?! I am so grateful to people for accepting the invitations and participating in the series. Of course, this time around, this was Ali P.'s idea and I sent out the call to help him along. He is yet to show up with his piece which he promised he would write!

Yolanda, if I may, I have a question for you. May I ask why you type ..... in all your comment subject fields?

Nazy

Thanks!

I agree with you about divorce. It's never a good thing, but sometimes it's the best option.

Happy Halloween to you too :)

Marrying with love does not guarantee there will not be divorce

Dear Nazy, thanks for your story and also for starting this series. I was just going to write that matters of heart are not easy but then in second thought, they are not that hard.  It is just the fact that people fall in love and sometimes they grow apart.  They have to make an effort not to grow apart or once it happens, they should just accept it, move on, and find their next love.  As simple as that!

Where is Episode Seven?

How did Shirin's life turn out to be?  What happened to Farzad?

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Thank you for launching the "writing young love" series! Wow! So many writers have responded and I read a lot of the stories from this series, it was fun! I don't agree that divorce is "good news", but it does happen sometimes, I agree with you:

a divorce is probably the saddest thing that could happen in anyone's life.

Thank you for sharing this true story with us, you are very brave!

thanks,

Dear Craig

Fancy meeting you here! How have you been?

I don't know if you have been following the blogs in these series. Multiple Personality Disorder wrote a blog which inspired me to write mine.

It wasn't "good" news, but it was a piece of information my friend needed to have, to know that nobody fared better than anybody else and that there were no special prizes given to those who married with love.  Though definitely necessary, a divorce is probably the saddest thing that could happen in anyone's life.  At least that's what I think.

Enough about sadness, though.  It's really good running into you PC.  Happy Halloween! 

Nazy

I really loved the "good" news you shared with Shirin at the end! That was very sweet :)