Saffron Daze

Peyvand Khorsandi
by Peyvand Khorsandi
22-Nov-2007
 

Iranian women’s memoir is a growing genre and i am thinking of writing one. Here’s an opener.

When I was growing up as a little girl in Iran, the scent of saffron was curiously absent from our kitchen. The kitchen was curiously absent from our home. And our home curiously, y’know, from our neighbourhood. Because my family didn’t occupy the Iran of my childhood so much as it occupied us.

To us, living a suburban idyll in Burbank, it was a dream. If truth be told I was allergic to saffron and we ordered pizzas most of the time. My parents were weekend potheads. Although none of us wore a headscarf, my father insisted upon donning one to work. ‘It’ll help you get a publishing deal,’ he said. And he was right. When I told my agent about my father’s Islamic cross-dressing he was bent over double laughing. I remember watching CNN when Princess Leia, sorry, Diana died in 1897.

Or was it 1997. (It’s the saffron I tell ya.) Earl Spencer, her brother, said she bent double laughing, just like my agent did. And when I think about it, I suppose I always wanted to be a princess’s brother, just like Earl Spencer. And when my agent heard this he rolled on the floor and started panting like a dog. ‘That’s publishing gold, ‘he said. We were sat at dinner once and my father asked me to pass the saffron.

I reminded him we weren’t that kind of rose-tinted Oriental family. I also asked him to take the headscarf off, enough went on in our home without him having to wear that. He threw it off. The next night he and my mother were stoned on the phone to the pizza company. It had been taken over by Iranians. They spoke in Persian and ordered anchovy with saffron. My childhood had come to an end.

Balatarin
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Niki dear it may be a tad

by Nokhode har Aash (not verified) on Mon Nov 26, 2007 05:40 AM PST

Niki dear it may be a tad subtle to you but I did find it funny!! But then again, yours was more real than AP's, if you know what I mean!
Yours always,
Nokhodi


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Niki Tehranchi

Nothing to do with it

by Niki Tehranchi on Sun Nov 25, 2007 03:09 PM PST

Sense of humor has nothing to do with it.  It's not that you found the piece unfunny.  Hey, each to his/her own taste.  It's the fact that you thought it's real news.  Don't try to backtrack now, it only makes you look more foolish.  Having said that, I think we have abused Peyvand's post enough to air out all our petty differences so this will be my final word on the subject.  You are of course welcome to elaborate as much as you like on the art of fishing, toy making or humor, anything that your mind likes to occupy itself with on those day passes they give you at Bellevue.  And I of course will be awaiting with much glee your future posts on different blogs and articles.

Sincerely, Niki. 


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Did I?

by Nokhode har Aash (not verified) on Sun Nov 25, 2007 02:18 AM PST

Niki you are so sweet when you take the bait, such a good wind up :( I had not read, till now, your reply to my comment on your piece on Ms Bhutto. Now I know why you are such a big fan of Peyvand. You have to wet your sense of humor a little. It's too dry for my liking. Who's the last laugh on now Niki? SGTM


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Niki Tehranchi

I'm not "pissed"

by Niki Tehranchi on Sat Nov 24, 2007 10:49 AM PST

I actually found it hilarious that you embarassed yourself in this way :-)


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Sorry Niki ...

by Nokhode har Aash (not verified) on Sat Nov 24, 2007 07:43 AM PST

but clearly you are still pissed off by my comment. Well, that was the whole point of making that comment - it must have worked :)


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Niki Tehranchi

To Nokhode

by Niki Tehranchi on Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:58 AM PST

This coming from a guy who thought I cut and pasted a real Associated Press article about Musharraf placing Benazir Bhutto under house arrest for subscribing to Italian Vogue!


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You guys must be so sad ...

by Nokhode har Aash (not verified) on Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:00 AM PST

to laugh at this tasteless drivel. He is very loos and has no genes from his dad in him. Sorry Peyvand but you ain't making it yet. Try harder dude!


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Jahanshah Javid

Mordam...

by Jahanshah Javid on Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:30 AM PST

... az khandeh... write your own book digeh!


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Niki Tehranchi

I loved it !!!!!!!!!!!!

by Niki Tehranchi on Thu Nov 22, 2007 09:24 AM PST

When is it coming out ? :o)


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