Familiarity Breeds Contempt

Familiarity Breeds Contempt
by Shazde Asdola Mirza

That is the main reason behind so many wife-husband fights: why Moses was ridiculed by his wife; why Ayesha scorned Mohammad. Why so many close friends turn into sworn enemies. Why absolute rulers turn into hateful tyrants … but then I digress again.

That is also the number 1 reason behind our Iranian.Com fights!

We all have a grand view of ourselves; otherwise we wouldn’t be here, writing for the whole world to see. But we are also confined here with a small group of some 50 other writers. Over the months and years, we get to know each other all so too well, including weaknesses and ugly dark spots.

Being human, we are normally unaware of our own blind spots and even less aware of our ugly ways and unkind behavior. But people, who spend a long time with us in close quarters, get to become familiar with those dark spots; and over time, become sensitive to them.

So let’s do ourselves a favor. Whenever we get really angry with a fellow IC contributor, let’s go to the mirror and take a GOOD look at ourselves, before piling hateful comments on their heads.

Also don’t forget frequent visits to San Francisco!


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Shazde Asdola Mirza

Friends: thanks for your kind support

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Anon Observer: you are right, the internet anonymity doesn't help either; which really shows the efforts of JJ and Admin, who have relatively kept this site civil, despite "our best efforts"!

P_J dear: much appreciated to see your kind comment.

Faramarz jan: I am glad not to have seen your "infamous" comment, and if it is even half bad as TS9 says, let's hope that Zendanian hasn't seen it either. You are one of the few rational and composed ones here, please try to get a vaccine against our maddening viruses.

Divaneh jan: you are another gem for us. Never change, our nice and kind friend; despite all the hardships that you have endured.


Thanks Shazde Jaan for your wise words

by divaneh on

I fully agree that many of us have little tolerance and hope that we can improve our listening skills. I however need to add that the issue of political prisoners and human rights abuses are different and any insensitivity toward the fate of these endeared people can cause very angry reactions.



Where is my sang pa?

by Souri on

Ajab hamoom zanooneh y shodeh inja.....


Good blog, very true, very timely

by Rea on

Now, everybody confess their past and future sins and apologise. ;o)

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Law of Unintended Consequences

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

You release 2 rabbits in Australia, and see what you get!


The most tolerant of the site is .......................

by Mehrban on



You are a good sport Ajooz!

by Faramarz on



I never thought that it was you that flagged us!


"Ajoozeh" migeh

by Truthseeker9 on

Don't be such a sore loser. Accept defeat graciously.  :)

BTW I didn't flag Vildie, I only flagged you. Was a cruel thing to say. Buy Zendanian a basket of fruit and be friends. He has a good heart.  



by Faramarz on



من یادم نیست که من یا ویلدموس چی گفتیم ولی از اون عجوزه کهنسال که مارا فلاگ کرد بپرس که چی گفتیم!


Great Analysis, Shazdeh!

by P_J on

More or less, I agree with everyone!



by Truthseeker9 on

Would you like to repeat the two comments aimed at Zendanian by yourself and Vildie that were removed on the infamous blog? Just to prove what lovely "normal people" say.


I agree with Albaloo and TS-9

by Faramarz on



Here on this site, whenever a topic comes up, the 2 remaining Commie/Tudeh-ei support each other, and the remaining 3 NIACis also support each other. 

And then the rest of us normal people get attacked from left and right and have to defend ourselves.

That's just isn't fair!


Shazdeh, you are biased and

by Albaloo on

Shazdeh, you are biased and wrong.  I read Zendanian's comments.  I supported him/her and Souri on the other blog. They do not owe anyone any apology. 


Anonymous Observer

SAM- it's also the anonymity of the internet

by Anonymous Observer on

which lifts the usual restraint on aggression when one engages another.  It's true in all online forums and IC is not an exception.  


I agree with TS9

by Albaloo on

So many overlook the obvious viciousness of their own friends out of loyalty. "



هی قربان و صدقه


هی قربان و صدقه هم برین و چرت و پرت بگین 



by Truthseeker9 on

How about Vildemose apologise too? Sorry to say some of the ladies here can get really personal and vicious if they disagree with someones views, working in gangs. Plenty of threads as evidence.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Points taken

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Dears Mehrban and Truthseeker,

Your points are taken and understood. I apologize, for having been equally bad in those regards.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

An apology would be very a good sign of "tolerance"

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Zendanian aziz,

I was hoping that you would visit, because this is partly with regards to your unkind treatment of our nice lady "Vildemose".

Perhaps you can consider a nice apology as sign of "tolerance"?


Another source of irritation

by Truthseeker9 on

So many overlook the obvious viciousness of their own friends out of loyalty. (I'm not referring to you Shazde).


The ones who talk about it the most, do it the least

by Mehrban on

I mean tolerance.  :)


On the significance of "San Fran," and Tolerance!

by Zendanian on

Mirza jan, according to Wilhem Reich sexuality palys a central role not only in our personal life at a micro level, but also holds the same significance in the social organization of our life on a macro level.

He basically argued that Nazi were able to control German people through manipulating their sexual lives and desires.

In Islamic Republic of Hell, it seems as if mullahs have for ever divided Iranian society to two permenant parts: between men and women, and rule the country by subjecting Iranian women to a lower level of social life, with the consent and assisatnce of most of Iranian men, if not all of them.

But that's only half of our problem in Iran. We also have almost ZERO understanding, practice or patience for tolernace. Especially tolerance of those opposed to us.

Since I have to run some family errands right now, I'll sum up this argument in two parts,


Unless and untill we have:

A) Meaningful, satisfying, liberated sexual experinces in our lives (treating women as equals and not as half human beings), and 

B) Somehow learn to respect and tolerate others, especially opposing points of view,

We'll be stuck with mullahs, shahs, Stalins or worse. Cheers

Long Live "Wilhelm the Great," San Fran, and Voltaire! 


Shazde Asdola Mirza

Reaching a position of "executioner" authority

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Dear Roozbeh,

Very good point. It actually reminds me of a close friend's comment many years ago. He said: "If you ever get to be the leader of Iran, I will run away from the country, with my entire family!"

Shazde Asdola Mirza

روانکاوی و روان درمانی روزانه

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Faramarz jan,

Thanks for your constructive comment. However, instead of paying a lot of money to quack shrinks, perhaps we can cut each other's hair, and be one another's psych-aide.


Time for psychoanalysis of a MPD nature!

by Roozbeh_Gilani on

Very timely blog dear shazdeh! Knowing the particular prompting blog and blogger, I must confess  that I personaly find IC a great source of daily entertainement. Now having said that,  just imagine , if some of this 50 or so, would god forbid reach a position of "executive" authority, let's say like sheikh sadegh khalkhali, after the regime is "overthrown".....

The mere thought gives me the shudders...

"Personal business must yield to collective interest."


تارنمائی پر از سوژه و کاراکتر!



مرسی شازده عزیز.

خدا بلاگر های این سایت را زیاد شون کنه که هر روز مایه انبساط خاطر ما هستن! ولی به روانکاوی و روان درمانی روزانه هم احتیاج هست!