Are you a Virgin?


Are you a Virgin?
by Temporary Bride

Every evening Vahid is tasked with taking me back to my hotel. Unlike the morning journey that I make alone, the return is a series of rushed walks through crowded meydans and scuffles between shared taxis.

I don’t enjoy travelling with him. He is brusque and impatient, shoving me first to one side and then another to shield me from the nighttime traffic.

As we walk Vahid points out girls to me and asks if I think they are beautiful. “Iranian girls are the most beautiful in the world,” he declares. “When I marry I will choose only the most beautiful girl. It is very important!” As he speaks I can see his father’s baldness advancing across his scalp.

He led me to a large outdoor garden and insisted that we stop for tea. It was full of Iranian families and their children laughing, taking photos and ordering tea and wrinkly black dates.

We sat at opposite ends of a large wooden love seat covered in pillows and everyone turned to stare at us.

In Yazd the sight of an unmarried couple, especially one involving a foreigner, even a couple as clearly disinterested in each other as we were, was enough to be cause for gossip.

“You are my cousin, ok? If anyone asks,” said Vahid. “Sure, ok”, I nodded, a little shocked that we needed a cover story for something as innocent as drinking tea in broad daylight. “Your mother’s sister and my father’s brother are married and live in the US,” Vahid continued. “Got it”, I said.

Our tea arrived and as we sat, not speaking much, the sense of being scrutinised by the families all around us was starting to unnerve me. Vahid seemed unconcerned and possibly even a little pleased by the attention. He turned to me finally and asked "Are you a virgin?"

My jaw dropped. “No, of course not!”, I said, horrified. I probably should have felt insulted or angry by this strange intrusion into my private life, but instead this sudden flash of humanness had caught me off guard. Vahid looked bizarrely vulnerable and boyish. I could tell that he didn’t talk to girls much, especially about sex.

Conscious of the families all around us I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Something would have had to have gone very wrong in my life for me to still be a virgin.”

“I will stay a virgin until I get married,” he said looking a little self-righteous. “Really?” I asked. “And when do you plan to get married?” “Not until I am at least thirty. Girls just distract men from their ambitions so I want to get married late.”

I imagined scenes of Vahid and his future wife, a pair of thirty-year-old virgins fumbling clumsily on their wedding night. I wasn’t sure which was harder to imagine, staying a virgin until thirty or Vahid managing to connect emotionally with any girl enough to get her to sleep with him. Let alone marry him.

“But what if you die tomorrow?” I persisted. “Won’t you feel like you have missed out on something?” Vahid looked at me, clearly shocked, and said nothing. I felt a little hit of victory.

I smiled as he stared into the distance looking pensive and perplexed. We sat for a while longer and then he turned abruptly. “We should go, it’s getting late.”


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more from Temporary Bride
Multiple Personality Disorder

very good

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

I mean, very well


Faramarz, your comment is touching

by Monda on

Your power of observation and wisdom in relationships way bypasses your male friends' that you write about in Your stories.  Affarin be shoma baba for articulating My values of Vahid in this equation. 



by yolanda on

Hi! Faramarz,

      Your post is very enlightening! You really know how to read between lines... I was very confused about this story before I read your post....



Vahid and You

by Faramarz on

I like your writing style.

There is a subtle impatience and frustration in your stories about Vahid that you don’t talk about, but it does come across. It feels like that you followed him to Yazd to see him in his own environment and then make up your mind about him and your future. This type of emotional investment usually speaks volumes about one’s feelings about the other.

On the other hand, Vahid’s lack of interest or commitment is very typical of someone who is looking for an affair, and nothing more, at least at this point. The marriage and virgin talk are all signs of immaturity.

Many western women look at Iranian men, especially the ones that are not emotionally mature or sophisticated the same way an architect looks at a fixer-upper! They see the potential and the up side, but they also realize that there is a lot of work to be done. Some give up after a while because the pull from the culture and the family is too strong. Some totally embrace the culture and the family and lose their own individuality. And then there are those who try to change Vahids of the world into something that they could never become.

Let’s see what Vahid does next. How about a goodbye scene at the airport? Would someone finally breakdown and put their cards on the table?


As sure as the Sun rises, this guy is lying

by Nur-i-Azal on

Probably in order to impress or otherwise convey some warped sense of emotional security or goody two shoes-ness to the woman he is eyeing. No man in this day and age from whatever culture, unless there is something wrong, is a virgin at that age. He is trying to play the goody two shoes in order to woo IMV.

If this is a true story, be especially on your guard, and note any contradictory behavior and statements. These are cues which will probably prove that the guy is using the "I am a virgin until I get married"  line as a cover story for something else. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was using it as a pick-up line.

Be mindful, grasshoppa - Kung Fu



by yolanda on

Hi! Anahid,

Actually my point is that the author should not  make fun of the guy......

Thank you!!



Anahid Hojjati

Dear Bride, nice story and yolanda, it is 21st century

by Anahid Hojjati on


Dear yolanda, you are always so nice to me with your comments so I feel a bit guilty but the way you comment about value of being virgin at wedding night is so old fashioned.  I can see your point and Vahid's point if some girl in Iran is getting married and is young, let 's say under 20, there is some value in being virgin since sex at young ages is not smart.  But to stay virgin until someone is 30 years old is really old fashioned and not even healthy.  Human body operates more natural when a person does not stay virgin until 30 years old. 


another mystery added to the old list

by Monda on

How did you get to meet Vahid?  

Really enjoyed reading this.


Actually virgins end up being good porn stars! Given a chance:-)

by Anonymouse on

Everything is sacred.



by yolanda on


gitdoun ver.2.0

Wedding Night

by gitdoun ver.2.0 on

Wedding Night is about Emotional Intimacy. It's not about whether the guy or girl can perform like a Porn Star. Lastly, in this fictional story, i think the character Vahid should stop shielding the Temporary Bride from night-time traffic and let her face the very organized and law abiding iranian drivers herself.  Clearly, she is exempt from the very high pedestrian fatalities of iranian driving and no need for an extra pair of eyes to look out for her. Besides even if she was roadkill i don't think it would be a big blow to the world. She strikes me as a Feminazi who values getting ploughed at an early age, ranks porn-star sexual performance over love, marriage, and virginity. Society ill needs base women or men.  One little question to the Author of this story. If the Vahid is so emotionally desolate then how was the female protagonist able to forge any friendship with him ??? Or does she view him as some kind of a guard dog on a leash "Tasked" to protect her???

Jahanshah Javid

Good answer

by Jahanshah Javid on

Vahid is definitely interested. Don't believe for a second that he's going to wait for sex until he gets married. I'd be shocked if he's a virgin.

PS: Still don't know how you ended up in Yazd, from London :)



by yolanda on


Flying Solo

Good one

by Flying Solo on

Forward approach! I'd say Vahid has his eye on you. :)