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Photo by J. Javid
I admire the man. His mighty service return fascinates the likes of McEnroe and Sampras, to say the least. Sampras instills fear in his opponents with his lethal serve. But Agassi's torpedo-like returns can easily outpower Sampras.
Agassi has a natural instinct for seeing the ball faster and clearer than any other player. Maybe while Agassi was still in his crib his dad moved the ball around his head to get his eyes used to the fluorescent yellow color. Aggressive eyes enable Andre to just rip into the opponent's serve.
Agassi's dramatic style has allowed his popularity to tower over any other player. Although he has played below expectations at times, his fame has not faded away considering the staggering endorsements he receives from corporate America.
However, I, along with many other Iranians, have been offended by Andre's denial of his Iranian background. My love for this man made me think as to why he would do such a thing.
Agassi's association with Iran would have led him to a lifestyle much different than the one he has today. Considering that Iran's image is not exactly Walt Disney material, Agassi's close association with his father's country would discourage corporate endorsements. No more Nike. Forget Canon.
Here comes Amir Pistachios. Agassi's contract with Amir Pistachios would include a fresh box of pistachios before every tournament. His tennis shoes would come from Agha Mehdi who gets his supply of shoes from the lost and found room at the mosque in Tehran's bazaar.
My god, if you are thinking Gatorade then think again. Instead he will be dreinking Sahar Tea. During Wimbledon Agassi is seen with a two-inch cup of tea and a sugar cube in his left cheek. Instead of the huge Gatorade cooler, Andre will have a samovar next to his chair at half court.
Oh yeah, Andre will no longer be sitting on a chair. He will rest between games by squatting on a Persian rug from Abbas Carpets.
Andre, God bless you for going American. I personally do not blame you any more after listening to myself. But could you please just do me a small favor and eat kabob koubideh, rice with yolk, raw onions and dough before your matches so we could see your steamy Iranian burp on live TV?
