Checkpoint Mehrabad

Just think about it! That's all I'm asking. Don't do something that will make you regret it for the rest of your life. No sudden, jerky moves. Remember, you are in control of yourself. You are the master. What are you? You are the master.

Just hear me out. If it still doesn't make sense to you then go ahead, then shout if you like, I won't care, do then what you like. Just hear me out for the last time, calm down. Look, its simple. It's you who's making this whole thing such a big deal. Just think… What on earth are you doing? Just what on earth… ?

OK.OK. Stop talking to yourself. Look at you standing here, talking to the mirror. I'm going to pull it off. I'm going to do it and that's that. I'm not going to have some last minute butterflies in my belly ruin everything. Just take a deep breath. Wash the sweat off your face with some cool water and you'll be fine.

Don't go sick on me now; you've pulled through worst situations than this. If you are going to be sick do it now and then move on. You can't spend the rest of the day in this airport toilet. This is just a silly panic attack.

I've got people waiting for me on the other side. Just pull yourself together. Don't lose it now. You've worked so hard to get this far, its too late now, there is no going back anyway. Everything is ready; the passport, and the unshaven look.

They check thousands of passports, mine is going to be just another. It's safe now, everyone says so, don't they? The suite is all creased up, the shirt with no tie and the top button is done. I just wished I didn't wear this one. It looks good even with the creases. I meant to look shabby to look the part, and not to have the Armani look.

Here we go. Here … we go. I haven't done anything to be scared off anyway. I don't think taking part in a few demonstrations twenty odd years ago puts you in the wanted list?

Here …. we go. I'm in the queue. Look respectable. Just show your passport. Don't smile too much, but don't look too miserable. Don't do anything, which draws attention; just act normal without looking like you are trying to act normal. These guys are trained to look for lost nerves.

Remember what the relaxation video said.If something scares you use your imagination and then try to put the whole thing in a funny mode. Just pretend you are visiting Tunisia. Better still, Ibiza. So, think funny. Funny. I can't think funny. What's so funny about a miserable looking passport control officer?

OK, if funny doesn't work try to think of him as a very compassionate person. He's got two kids and has to take a lot of mouth from his angry boss, Mr Born-with-a-complex. OK, I've got it. He looks like Bin Laden with no beard. Bin Laden, so that's where he's been hiding. That's it; take your mind off it.

I could get a reward for this guy. Just find the nearest American Embassy. You see, you've done. Find an American Embassy in Tehran to get a reward fo Bin Laden or his long lost brother. I swear, he looks like a spitting image of old Bin. I wished I had my digital camera. Yes sure, like you have the nerves to take a photo now. So, is that funny? Well tried, it's working… Not! I have calmed down… Not!

Remember, if he asks, you are simply here to sort out your father's last will and visit a few friends who are waiting for you to come and visit. Father's will? No forget it. He'll think I'm loaded and his hatred might kick into action. I am here to visit a person, that's all.

I wonder if I've changed much over these years. I doubt if they even recognise me. I was a spotty teenager last time they saw me. Better still without the ponytail; mind you it took me so long to grow that.

Don't forget, when talking Farsi to this guy lose the American accent. That's a dead give away that I've been away for so long, and he'll probably start picking on me. Remember it's the R's that wind and roar with the American accent. So remember use stronger R's. Stop these last minute pronunciation classes!

That's it. One more step, and I should have people waiting for me on the other side.

“Passport please… Mr. Pahlavi, welcome to Tehran. What is the nature of your visit, and how long are you planning to stay?”

>>> Part 2
>>> Part 3

Meet Iranian Singles

Iranian Singles

Recipient Of The Serena Shim Award

Serena Shim Award
Meet your Persian Love Today!
Meet your Persian Love Today!