Een niz bogzarad; this too shall pass. I thought this was the most meaningful thing I have heard for a long time. A friend of mine suggested I should write this in large font and put it in my room so every time I see it, it would remind me of life as just a river of our thoughts and dreams; they will come and go and today's sorrows will simply will be tomorrow's memories. Perhaps something is ending – but only so that something else can begin!
Clock and watch manufacturers have a lot to answer for. They put buttons on their time pieces which allow us to turn back the hands or adjust the numbers on the digital readout. Consequently, they cause us to imagine we have power over the passage of time. This is a lovely thought but ultimately, a very counter-productive one.
We need to be realistic. At some point we have to let bygones be bygones. And the good news? We will soon be very glad that those bygones have gone by. Ummm.. is that really the case though? It is never easy to let go. Even when we are tired of something — even when we have had enough of it.
Even when we know that we can only benefit from going in a different direction, we tend to hang on to our problems. Rather than move to some new inspiring topic we continue to think about whatever has hurt or upset us. It is as if we fear the loss of something familiar. We feel we ought to remain in control of everything — at all times — even if this obliges us to remain in a state of suffering. We know deep down that this is now the time to put that something behind us and we shouldn't be afraid to kiss it goodbye. But I guess we have that fear of maybe one day we will miss it!
Happy memories never leave us. We must take care though, not to live in the past, revelling so much in yesterday's triumphs that we fail to take proper care of today's needs. Last month's dinner, no matter how nourishing it may have been, will not fill us today. Last week's lie-in, no matter how long it lasted, will not stop us from feeling tired tonight.
Sometimes we feel sure though, that the route to success must emulate the one we took last time. Not so. I carried on going through the classifieds putting a circle around anything that looked remotely suitable to take as a temping position. Radio Farda is blurting out all these news about Bush talking to Russians on the phone and I am trying to somehow picture him in the Oval Office talking to the Russian president or whoever, making the same familiar faces we all laugh at when he is on CNN acting like he is playing a scene in Independence Day, “We will not be defeated.”
For a moment I thought of my problem and decided to quote him in my head — I would not be defeated. Seems like I have become a statistic (this is the third time today that I have heard this): 180 million people around the world are unemployed! Fantastic! The first month was fun. Second month I did loads of shopping. And the third month, my excuse was that it's Christmas and things will look better in the new year. So here we are almost two months into the new year and I am done having fun. I want a job now.
Getting redundant might be good for some but for me, I ran out of fun things to do after a couple of months and I really want a job.
I don't mind getting up at 6:30 any more. Getting home late and having to face arrogant clients would be fine. I miss the underground in the rush hour. Really I do! I miss the Metro's daily “famous words from famous people”, or whatever it was called, and most of all I miss the Dilbert cartoon.
I've sat in front of the TV with a glazed expression. We all know what it feels like to be overwhelmed by the choice of channels because there is nothing worth watching on any of them. (morning TV especially hasn't been exactly my best past time during recent months).We cannot though, allow our lives to echo this predicament.
It is one thing to know what you want. But without a shadow of a doubt, one highly worthwhile option lies buried among the many petty choices that one can make. To see what this is, we must first decide whether we are ready to switch ourselves off from all that we have planned and now have been diverted from. You know they always say, “Be careful what you wish for. You may just get it.”
Sometimes, we enjoy the journey more than the arrival. We like complaining more than we like problem solving. We like to wistfully dream of some better tomorrow, far more than we like dealing with the challenge that changes presents. Sometimes too, we come up with ideas that are far-fetched, expensive and too complicated. We believe in these so passionately that we cannot recognise a simpler solution, even when it is staring us in the face.
Perhaps this time my pessimism is clouding my vision to see the bright side to this saga. May be it is a good things that I don't have a job, maybe it is time I get up and do the things I always wanted to do and never got a chance because I was so busy moving along my career that I almost forgot the years going by.
It is snowing again! Did it use to snow before in London? Was I too busy to notice? I closed my eyes while listening to Brian Adams's “Here I am” and made a decision. I picked up the phone and called the Writers Bureau.
We are approaching spring and as every one says, it is the time for a new beginning. So I let this pass and I plan to start afresh. Perhaps next time you get to read something I from me, it will be much better written! Wink wink!