25 January 2003
I hadn't heard from anyone for a couple of days. I started to do stuff again. Like shopping, going to the movies and feeling a bit alive again. I tried to do stuff, which would make me forget about this whole hell hole I was in.
I tried to concentrate on other things. Things I had neglected in a while. Which were so much more worthy of my love and trust, than those other animals, wouldever them may be. For instance, my baby sister, who I loved and addored.
One day I walked into her room, she had gone out. I looked on her table, a piece of paper, with her funny childish handwriting, froggy style; I tease her. She had written a poem about me. She had sensed that I was in some kind of trouble, who wouldn't notice? I tried to be my ussual funny self, but my eyes revealed the full truth. My eyes which so every now and then, would fill up with tears. Of course she noticed.
She had written a poem in which she wished me to laugh again and MEANT IT. She wished I would forget about every thing and every one and concentrate on her. Give her some attention.
My poor baby, one of the few persons who really needed my attention, who really deserved my attention, I had been neglecting. What a fool I am…
That day when she came back from school, I took her out and we talked a lot. I explained (up to a point) what was going on in my life and why I had been acting so strange lately. She completely understood me and supported me.
Just 15-years old and already so wise. She said to me,
“Awisa, I'm really glad that we have a relationship where we never argue. We tease each other without getting upset. I have friends and I have seen that not every one is this way. So it's not something that I take for granted. You should focus more on the people who are here for you always. Like me, mom, dad and your friends here, who you've known all your life.”
“I know, azizam, you're so right. I have to close this big chapter of nightmares and just never look back.”
And so I did.
Once back home, I told my mom what had happened — not everything of course, I didn't want to hurt her more than I had to. And so I convinced her to change our home phone number. Just 4 more days and this door would be locked forever. I would once again start afresh.
I went to a hairdresser and got a whole new hairdue. I let them cut my long black hair, short. With spiky red stripes. Which made me look like a completely new person.
With my sister, I went to a body farm and got completely relaxed. That day I didn't think of THEM even once. I was finally tasting freedom. Without any obnoxious creeps, who were trying to ruin my life >>> To be continued >>> Previous parts