Yesterday afternoon, I finally decided to be a good girl and clean up my closet. After moving few stuff around I found a box that has all my old books in it and a few things that I had brought with me from Iran.
I opened the box just to look at it and there I found my old photo album . It was a very small album that my cousin had bought for me as a yaadegaary just few days before I moved. It had only a few pages so I had to put my most favorite, memorable pictures in it.
Before I knew it, I was siting in middle of the closet and going through the pages.
On the first page there was a picture of me and my two cousins sitting by the pool. I was 5, she was 7 and he was 9. As always, he is hugging me tight, I am making a face for the camera and she is laughing at me!
The second page has a picture of my 6th birthday party. I am surrounded by all 22 cousins and all my friends, even my first crush!
Right underneath, there is another picture from that same day! I am sitting on my favorite aunt's lap and giving her a kiss. Looking at that picture makes my whole body to shake because I can clearly remember that moment.
After she had walked in to the formal dining room and was sited by mom on the big blue chair, I had walked up to her to say hi and she had put me on her lap and pulled a little jewelry box from somewhere out of her chador that always smelled like roses. When she had handed me the box , I had put a little kiss on her soft cheeks and my brother had snapped the shot. Sadly I lost her two years later.
On the third page I see a picture of Sizdah Bedar 1986 and everybody is enjoying the Ashe Reshteh. Oh, I look so damn good in that jacket mom had netted for me.
And the last page has a picture of my 17th birthday.( I moved here just a few weeks after that.)
In the picture I am sitting in middle of my four cousins and they are squeezing me so hard that I am screaming and…
The warmness of the little tear that had dropped on my hand, brings me back to this world.
I get up and put the album on my bed. As I am washing my face in my bathroom, I look at myself in the big mirror that covers the whole wall and I wonder if this feeling of homesickness will ever go away!?
Even after 9 years I still miss my home, my loud cousins, my friends and everything I had left behind.
I truly wish that someday we all can go back to our only home.