Have you ever bought something and then decided that, actually, you can't afford it, you won't appreciate it and you can't ask for your money back?
Varinder (my wife) and I have.
Last November we paid nearly £6,000 to book a two week-holiday to the Royal Mirage hotel in Dubai. We depart this Sunday and for the last month or so have been wondering why we spent so much money on luxury that we won't really appreciate because we will be too busy chasing after the twins trying to stop them breaking things, pulling things off tables and eating sand.
We have been to the Royal Mirage before (and written about it: “Norooz in Dubai“). But we only went for a week and, crucially, we were DINKYs (Double Income No Kids Yet). We went clubbing, we went shopping and we ate at numerous Iranian restaurants. This time around we will be confined to our hotel at night — we can't be too far from the twins who will be sleeping in our room with a hotel baby sitter to watch over them.
To add insult to injury we can't even lie on the beach and read because a) the boys won't let us and, b) they will need regular nappy changes and, c) at least one nap in the late morning. In fact we won't be able to spend too much time doing anything to really appreciate it.
When Varinder's dad asked me how much the holiday had cost he was so shocked at my reply that, two weeks later, he still looks at me with a sorrowful, “you dumb clutz” expression. Well, I feel like one.
Perhaps the one redeeming feature of this holiday is the flight. We have bought three seats. Since it is a late night flight we figure the boys, now nearly 17 months old, will lie together on the middle seat with the arm rests pulled up. Even though they are jolly little chaps who only cry when they are very, very upset I worry about the fact that they have never been up so late. Our flight departs at 10pm and the boys always go to bed at 6:30pm latest. This means 3.5 ours of disorientation before trying to get them to sleep in a noisy plane. I only hope they don't cry loudly for 7 hours.
I shall report back in two weeks with a few pictures to any of you who are remotely interested.