Grab tight
Press hard
Don’t let any air reach my lungs
Block the flow of hope into my heart
Don’t let go
Try to make me nauseous and dizzy by letting your repulsive breath on me.
Try to put out the light and sparkle in my eyes.
Silent the sound of my laughter by burying my heart with troubles.
Force my tears to come out of loneliness
Fill my heart with unsatisfied yearning and longing
Increase your efforts till the bursting point
Do your best
Give your best shot
It is now or never
One way or another
We have reached the cross-road
This is the deceive moment
The moment of truth
It is you or me
You are the attacker
I am the defender
We need to know — once for all — who is going to be exhausted first.
Who will go under first … no more wishy-washy acts … no more pussy-footing.
I will not flee
I will not hide
I will stay put
I will stand
I will let your hands keep its grip on my throat until the very end … and I will lock my eyes into yours until the end … the very end.
We shall see how long you can keep going on and how long I can hold on
We shall see if it is me who will give up my last breath before the force in your muscles begin to weaken to finally disappear, or it is you who will show exhaustion and kneel in front of me.
I am here
I am still standing
I am still engaging you
I am still laughing
I am your prey
I am a Predator who has to play the role of a prey
But you will be MY prey the moment you begin to feel your confidence drain …
Then I will be the hunter and you my prey
I have already defeated your precede — my ‘Personalized Devil’ — and now we shall see if I can overcome you too.
Don’t give up
Don’t loosen your grip
Don’t hesitate
Don’t show mercy
Don’t loose your focus
Do your best
You owe this to me
You have to outdo yourself and leave no recourses of yours un-exhausted in your efforts of bringing me down and devouring my heart.
Because if I come alive from this battle, I need to know that I defeated you completely.
I need to know that you did everything you could … and if I loose I must know that I went under without fleeing, without asking for mercy and without compromising.
I have the right to ask you for this because I accepted the role of a defender … as a prey in this battle.
I have earned this right to ask for every ounce of your being to be put into this battle.
You owe it to me.
Oct. 2003 – Gothenburg, Sweden.
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