She’s here folks! Subtropical Storm Andrea, that is. She has come early like one of those annoying party guests that bangs on your door three hours early, and while you’re running around in your pajamas, you also have to worry about keeping them entertained. With her arrival, the Atlantic hurricane season starts a full three weeks ahead of the official start date.
Don’t worry; I’m not going to yap about global warming. Enough is said about that topic, and if anyone is not convinced by now, then they probably need a brain transplant more than any piece of wisdom I could share with them. No, what worries me about Andrea’s early arrival has more to do with two other big stories that occurred in the past week.
The first story was the tornado that wiped out Greensburg, Kansas last week. The pictures were devastating, block after block of jumbled houses and cars. What followed was also devastating. The Kansas National Guard was not able to respond quickly. According to the Kansas Governor, the slow response of the state’s National Guard was due to the fact that half of their equipment and many of their trained personnel are currently in Iraq. Sounds like a reasonable conclusion to me. But, not to the White House press secretary, Tony Snow.
In a reenactment of the post-Katrina fiasco, the Bush front man was busy deflecting criticism. Tony Snow laid the fault squarely on Governor Kathleen Sebelius for not asking for federal assistance. According to Tony, “if you don’t request it, you’re not going to get it.” Apparently, the notion of a tornado vacuum-sucking a whole town is not motivation enough for the White House to take the initiative. Well, that’s easy for Tony to say. He hasn’t had his house turned into a pile of toothpicks.
The second story was the arrest of six “Islamic radicals” who supposedly wanted to storm a U.S. Army fort!!! Okay, add MANUMENTALLY STUPID to the list of stereotypes that are being spread about Muslims/Middle Easterners. They actually are selling this story to the public as a ‘dodging a bullet’ case. Six Muslims planned to take on a whole fort on American soil! Wow, I’m speechless. It sounds like these guys had taken inspiration from “300.” The article on CNN was an amazing piece of mind job.
At first glance, it achieved its intended effect: hysteria. But, careful reading showed that they’re making a mountain out of a peanut (a norm nowadays.) The government claims that these guys consented to being taped while talking about their plans to an undercover informant! And, they were taped claiming that they could hit the fort and get out “without any losses.” Well, this is yet another reason why we should avoid “300.” Apparently, we can’t distinguish between Hollywood and reality.
The only significant point about this story was its timing. Just as the Bush Clan was beginning to get some flak on the Kansas National Guard issue, six robo-Muslims were magically conjured to distract the public. And, the ever so faithful media played its roll as the government bullhorn perfectly. Soon, Tony Snow will inform us that these guys turn into six Incredible Hulks after chanting Allah three times, and they must be genetic mutants resulting from Iran’s experimentation with neutron bombs.
What does this mean in regards to Andrea? Watch out! It’s going to be a busy hurricane season and if last year was anything to go by, the Bush Clan will need plenty of terror alerts for distraction. Personally, I’m planning to stay away from airports, seaports, or any other damn type of ports and won’t carry anything sharper than a Q-tip!