As many of you often travel to Iran, I thought I provide you with some pointers that I call Mehrabad Survival Guide. These pointers are to help you survive the obstacles that you face on your way out. This part of the guide applies only to the arrival section of the airport as departing Tehran is another story in itself.
Also, please not that I have not yet flown into the new airport so these obstacles may not exactly be the same. Okay, here we go…
– RECOMMENDED: It is generally best to buy your tickets early and complete an online check-in on whatever airline you are flying. The best seats are the ones immediately behind first-class as they ensure that you are on the first busload of passengers off the plane. If you fly Iran Air into Tehran, you may get the tunnel, instead of the old buses that are still in service. Regardless of how you get off the plane, make sure you are seated towards the front.
– MANDATORY OBSTACLE: Leaving the plane early ensures that you are at the front or near to the front of the Passport Check queue. When it's your turn, don't bother greeting the customs agent. His job is to either look mean, indifferent or both. Just hand him the documents and wait until he/she returns them to you.
– OPTIONAL OBSTACLES: Past Passport Check and before going up the first set of stairs, there may be another desk where a few other Customs Officers check your documents again and ask you questions that the first officer could have easily asked. This desk is not always there but don't put away your documents until you get to the staircase.
– LUGGAGE CAROUSEL: Mehrabad only has a few carousels and their length is rather short so you must make sure that you get to stand right by it. It helps to spread your legs or stand with your companions to give yourselves a bit of extra room so you can drag your suitcases from the carousel easily. Keep in mind that that your fellow travellers love to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you which leaves very little room to maneuver when it comes to dragging your suitcases off the carousel. I also recommend worrying about luggage carts until after you have retreived your suitcases. As I said before, the length of the carousel is short and the cart gets in the way.
– OPTIONAL LUGGAGE CART OBSTACLE: Luggage carts are in abundance and they are free, well should be free. However, you may get into a situation where the baggage handlers are holding the carts and tell you to either hire them or buy a voucher for a handler-less cart from a kiosk which is not always manned. The problem is that the kiosk only takes Iranian Rials so they ask you to go to the bank to exchange cash. Here, you have a few options available to you:
1. Go to the bank and get some Rials and get the cart.
2. If you have Rials, pay the man, get the voucher, get the cart and go to the next obstacle.
3. Argue your way into getting a free cart, specially since the bank isn't open for late arrivals.
4. Just hire one of the handlers as the cost in foreign currency is negligible.
– BRIBERY NOTICE: The baggage handlers may tell you that they can help you get past the next few obstacles without having to pay duties. If you think you need help with this obstacle, make sure you don't pay the money ahead of time. If they happen to be full of hot air, you can refuse to pay them.
– OPTIONAL PRE-RED/GREEN LINE OBSTACLE: Cart in hand, you proceed to the Red/Green line which determines whether or not you will get hassled or let through hassle-free. Here, you may be stopped by airport staff who check your luggage tags against the name on the ticket. This is a good security measure against luggage theft but these guys are not always there.
– MANDATORY RED/GREEN LINE OBSTACLE: If you look up, you will see a green (right) and a red (left) traffic light on the wall. You should casually walk over to the right which is the green line. The red line is for those whose suitcases need to be searched. The person at the green line will ask where you are coming from and the date of your last trip to Iran. Generally, if you have been out of Iran for more than two years, you won't have much to worry about. Here, it helps to be nice but don't be too obvious about it. Of course, there are no guarantees so don't quote me on this even if it's your first trip to Iran in over a century.
– X-RAY OBSTACLE: After you clear the red/green line, you will have to put your suitcases on the X-ray machine. This machine is placed, literally, steps from your loved ones who are waiting to shower you with hugs and kisses. The person monitoring the X-ray machine, depending on what he/she sees, may ask you to go back to the red line, if you were previously lucky enough to get past it.
– CROWD OBSTACLE: Iranian crowds waiting for their arrivees are unlike what you would see in the U.S., Canada or Europe. Generally, there are an average of 10 people for every single arrivee. So, a plane carrying 250 passengers will add up to about to 2,500 family members. This does not include airport staff, taxi drivers and others who roam the hall. This in itself would not be a big deal if it wasn't for the small, stuffy arrival hall of the airport. Your cart, from above, would look like a small boat cutting through the waters of the Atlantic ocean.
– TAXI OBSTACLE: Once you exit the terminal, you are bombarded with men offering their “taxi” services. The strange thing is that you are told this despite having a dozen family members with you which obviously means you already have a ride. If you do have to take a taxi, make sure you get the airport taxis with flat rates as opposed to private cars (a.k.a. shakhsi) whose fees can fluctuate by the minute.
– OPTIONAL DOMESTIC FLIGHT OBSTACLE: If you live in Tehran, you are lucky as you can go home and relax. For those who need to take a domestic flight to their final destinations, the domestic terminal obstacle remains. Generally, overseas flight arrive in Tehran at night which means that you have to spend the night at the domestic terminal since the first flight out is around 7 A.M. Once you make it to the domestic terminal, you will have to go through the X-ray dance at the entrance and the officer there may decide that he needs to check your luggage. Past the X-ray machine, the rest should be pretty easy.
– FLIGHT HOME: Just hope and pray that your flight is aboard one of the Fokker 100 planes which were manufactured in 1991. If not, your next best bests are Airbus planes and then the classic Boeings from the 70's. If you happen to see a Russian jalopy, you may want to call home and read them your last will and final wishes.
Bon voyage!!!
