I am going to call him Dr. Baadazin. Even his email address says firstname.lastname@example.org. When you ask him what kind of doctor he is he gets angry. He says once a lady whom he met online insisted to find out what his field of study is and he hung up on her. Well, I guess it is not something that makes or breaks a relationship, I agree. But it is tittering on the brink of false pretence.
He says he is one of the five people in the world with this medical specialty so in all modesty he doesn’t want to “give himself away”. Vali khoda Google ro az ma nagireh. It acts like an instant lie detector. Maybe that is why he doesn’t tell you his real last name. Again, he says it is because he is so famous that he doesn’t want you to judge him solely on his fame. But when I mention there is a study to use viruses to attack cancerous cells, he looks at me as if I am from planet Mars. “how do you know about these stuff?” Of course he can’t add anything else to the conversation. He does not hold a PhD or a medical degree. He has a masters degree and he teaches in a tech school.
On the phone, he tells you he is 45 years old, 5’11” tall, with green eyes. When you meet him you see that he is 55, 5’6” and he has brown eyes. The entire image that he has spent long hours trying to make up for himself is nothing but a façade. But that is not his worst offense. He tells you change your first name and last name to an American name so when the police stop you they treat you right.
His favorite old movie is “The Man Who Would Be King” about an ordinary man pretending to be a mighty king. But his contemporary favorite movie to which he laughs for hours is “Date Movie” one of the most offensive movies to women about an overweight girl in search of love. He specially enjoys the slap stick comedy parts where the girl does indeed gets slapped around because she is overweight.
He complains that all the Iranian women are fat and they always hide themselves behind a child or a table…If he was a fit 55 year old I would consider his case but he can barely walk…Oh, and he must have forgotten to dye his hair as of late be cause it is all kinds of white, brown, grey, red, and a mixture of all.
He is a walking contradiction. He writes articles in which he tells people how to live! But he says you won’t find his book on Amazon. I bet. Amazon only carries the works of such as Paulo Coelho and J.D. Salinger.
But no matter a rose by any other name is still a rose, he got angry at me for seeing through him and called me “nothing but a clerk”. When I walked into an AT&T store to renew my cell phone contract the salesperson asked me where I worked and what I did in case I could get a discount. When I told him, he said “Wow, you are the brains behind the operations…”
I only wish my compatriot could be as respectful, maybe he could stop being the Man Who Wanted to Be King or pretending to be a doctor and just accept who he is. Maybe he would stop being so resentful of others and embrace who he is and where he is from even if it is an Iranian guy who teaches in a Tech School, what’s wrong with that?