Today the mighty UN Watch Dog, I love how they give themselves such fear inspiring names, is to determine the appropriate response to Iran’s refusal to abide by the will of the few who say they fear nuclear weapons proliferation in the Mid-east. They say a lot. They do little. It is expected that after much luncheoning and catering by NY’s finest delis, and after many bottles of bottled water are consumed in vast air conditioned rooms at the UN, that a response will finally be given in the form of the almighty sanctions on Iran. To which Iran has already replied, “Fuck off, it won’t work”. So get this, they are still planning to issue a penalty that Iran plans on ignoring. And they’re going to do it anyway! Why you might ask? Because it’s all a joke on you and me. There is no intention of ever penalizing Iran. Coca Cola won’t allow it. Yes, Iran is one of Coke’s largest regional distributors. And you thought Canada Dry had a funny song and SAVAK connotation! In fact sanctions don’t work, not because they are inherently flawed, that goes without saying. They don’t work because they aren’t enforced, and the folks that are impacted by them cheat. If they can’t cheat, they bribe people to cheat for them. And then they lie. And pose. A lot. France, a country well-known for shitty cars, manufactures the Peugeot, Citroen AND the Renault in Iran! Iran being one of the last remaining gullible countries willing to make these testaments to automotive merde, I find France’s recent tough talk against Iran, mervelleusly hilarious. I also find it rather implausible that Germany’s newfound support for Bush, would ever result in the shiny new BMW dealerships in Tehran being shut down. Same goes for the Alfa Romeo, Jeep, Honda, Hyundai AND Kia. If this is sanctions, can I have MORE! Predictions? Easy! I predict Iran will end up having it’s yellow cake and eating it too! Thanks to some western company who is probably the prime contractor showing them how to do it, right this moment. So, Iran will get that nuke it has coveted since the Shah’s erectile dysfunction over it, and sanctions and more sanctions will create a veritable economic boom in Iran as a result. Oh, and Israel will also bomb an unverifiable site in the middle of nowhere and they, Wolf, and Anderson360 (doesn’t 360 mean right back where you started?) will claim had the nukes in it. And Iran will then say “Nyah! Nyah! You missed them, you missed them, now you’ve got to kiss them!” And after that nothing really interesting will happen and we’ll all just sit around waiting for Iran to attack Israel, or the Beijing Olympics.
